>>33475952
You are literaly saying "it just clicks"
I talk to everyone and have never felt a spark.
I've been taking to everyone for at least the last 25 years.
I imagine touching real people during sex and instant disgust reaction.
I hear them fucking through walls and can't relate.
I've consciously notices their signals and fuck me eyes, and could not engage.
I've been invited to orgies and declined.
I look at literaly impossible cartoons, and cry that I'm not in them.
Mainly because I CAN IMAGINE THAT CHARACTER WON'T HURT ME.
I was cursed by my obsessive genes and have to much fucking social and emotional baggage.
I am a preteen in a middle aged mans body.
I have hated my mother from the first instant I could reflect on her behavior.
All my baggage is from her genes or her abuse.
It's fucking over.
I have good friends who actualy do like me, but I cannot stop myself from thinking it's a trick, and cannot imagine even fantasy scenarios where anyone is genuinely nice to me.
Even when I imagine the fetishs that I know I have, I fear that if I ever pursue them irl, when it gets to the moment of truth they would evaporate.
I've pursued psych help but It always ends with some variation of: "thats inconvenient" for the shrink.
I pray for death but none comes, and I am compelled to avoid it because I can only imagine it gets worse.
I listen to any and all sides, and thier advice is self contradictory and there are so many factions that just want to use you.
AND EVERY FUCKING DAY ON /ADV/ I SEE LARPING THAT'S NOT EVEN HALF MY FUCKING REAL PROBLEM AND MAGICAL SHITTY ADVICE THAT IGNORES REALITY