Thread 33471393

6 months ago I decided to quit 4chan and delve among the normals in pursuit of a better life.
Now I come back to it feeling the same repulsion and lack of direction that I experienced when first withdrawing from large society.
I am totally uninterested in people. I find their ways meaningless and self-deprecating.
I enjoy my introversion more than anything. I like deep knowledge and understanding. I hate superficiality. I want things to be organized and beautiful.
I am not saying this to place my self above them. I understand that normal people play a role that is a necessity in society. I just can not involve my self with them that makes me want to be invested in them.
I am heavily considering pursuing an academic career.
I am already disgusted by the merchantile nature of the private sector.
I feel like I am paying now for the mistakes I have made in life, either the relative lack of socialization or just not being radical enough in my pursuits.
How can I take my next step in life without going circle back to the internet?

>>33471393 (OP)
Sounds like you spend too much time lecturing at yourself in your own head about what you should do/shouldn’t do, and zero time spent encouraging yourself to go and do what it is you actually want to do.

>>33471393 (OP)
I won't read wall-of-text threads . Get to the point next time.

>>33471402
I should hammer this argument in my head.
This is what I came back for.
>>33471412
In short, how does a person who have no interest in people find purpose and direction in deep solitary activities without being permanently alone or online?
I am paraphrasing a bit but this is the substance of my query.

>>33471393 (OP)
Fall in love.

>>33471412
I concur

>>33471455
>I should hammer this argument in my head.
>This is what I came back for.

Glad I could help. Have another few nails for the hammering: Don't betray yourself chasing what you feel like you ought to do or ought to be, don't fixate on milestones and accolades, forget trying to chase a life you feel is expected of you. If you do, you'll lose your life. Because you'll spend it chasing and obtaining a life that was never yours. You've seen it often from some people who fell for it. Busting their ass to go chase a degree they vaguely give a shit about, only excelling because they are good at memorisation of information they don't really care about, to chase some ideal life where they make money to get the nice house and nice car in the hopes it will attract a nice woman to give them nice things or make them feel nice in the hopes that then and only then will they ever truly feel something good about themselves. That maybe the self-loathing will finally stop. It's all bullshit, man. Those guys still remain lost, only difference is they wear a suit and briefcase but they still ain't got their own face, their own identity. Don't be that guy. Do what it is you actually want to do, or at the least, don't do what it is you know you don't actually want.

>>33471393 (OP)
Ever since the covid hoax I stopped interacting with the goyim cattle. I just look through them and pretend they don't exist. I don't even greet them or acknowledge their presence. I'm not staring either, I'm just looking straight through them as if they weren't there.
My life has significantly improved. I have zero social anxiety now, not that I had much before but now I have zero.

>>33471686
I again fully agree.
If we are to make our own path in life, one of originality and being true to one's self, we, I, should live it as radically as possible.
Anything than this leads to self loathing.
Thanks anon for bearing the word. I wrote this on my journal.

Neither 4chan nor the outside world has anything of value. The purest unit of consciousness is the individual. Try to curate yourself and use the world only to uphold that ideal, not having the world act upon you by wasting away in online or normie (mind)spaces. Then you'll be fine

>>33471393 (OP)
It's a cycle actually, you return then leave then return then leave

After each iteration hopefully you gain some new insight (or more integrated, and the cycle lessens too)

But ye, lots of things are pretty skin-deep and not worthy of pursuit, just fakery and repressed souls being their stifled inefficient selves bumbling away, not much to gain from them