Thread 33473716

I’m going to prison for at least 3 and a half years. I’m being offered a plea that I’m going to take since I don’t have the money for a decent enough lawyer to convince a jury I’m innocent. The sentence would be nearly a decade without the plea so I really don't have any option. Any Anons here with experience from the inside? What should I expect? I have a month before I have to report for my sentence.

>>33473716 (OP)
You'll have nothing to do for 3 years. No mental stimulation, no socialization, physical activity is up to you. There is no reprieve from the boredom. It will consume your soul, and the rest of your life will just be flashbacks to how bored you were in prison no matter who you're talking to or what you're doing. Nothing can prepare you for this and there is no way to heal from it. I hope you're a tough cookie!

>>33473716 (OP)
What are you in for?

>>33473826
Felonious aggravated assault

>>33473841
More details please anon, i'm curious how you got near a decade

>>33473782
This is bullshit. Almost every prison has recreational programs because it gives prisoners something to do other than fight.

What prison are you going to? Some are a lot worse than others.

Are you eligible for early release for good behavior? If so you might only do 12-18 months before you are released as long as you stay out of trouble.

>>33473849
To put it very simply. One of the people in the apartments would take things out of my garbage for months. I saw them doing this multiple times. I eventually got tired of this and caught him in the act, and beat him with a baseball bat. I fractured a lot of his shit.

>>33473868
its sad when someone mans up and puts themselves in prison

>>33473868
You were born in the wrong century anon.

>>33473868
>Someone goes to jail due to someone else being a retard
Many such cases.

>>33473716 (OP)
If you are innocent, you shouldn't accept the deal. Being a con will make the rest of your life a lot harder once you get out

>>33473716 (OP)
Don’t plea, you pussy. There are other ways to reduce your sentence and you will have plenty of time to research. Don’t talk to people that aren’t your colour unless it’s business.

>>33473868
guess you didn't hit him hard enough

>>33473868
>One of the people in the apartments would take things out of my garbage for months
Am I missing something here? Why would you ruin you fracture your life over someone taking shit that you were getting rid of?

>>33473782
>You'll have nothing to do for 3 years. No mental stimulation, no socialization, physical activity is up to you.
Thats the same way it is with mental health spas

>>33473716 (OP)
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

>>33473868
why did you beat someone for picking through the shit you had already thrown out?

>>33473868
>That's right, this MY useless garbage I pay the city to get rid of, not yours!!!"

Don't drop the soup

>>33473868
Based

>hide fungo threads
>ignore fungo posts
>do not reply to fungo

>>33473782
That sounds like a typical 4channer's everyday life

>>33473868
>One of the people in the apartments would take things out of my garbage for months. I saw them doing this multiple times. I eventually got tired of this and caught him in the act, and beat him with a baseball bat. I fractured a lot of his shit.
Well, that sounds like you're guilty to me. I don't think even an expensive lawyer would do you much good.

>>33474831 who's fungo?

>>33473868
>I am a total retard
You deserve prison

>>33473868
>beat him with a baseball bat. I fractured a lot of his shit.
>I'm innocent

Three and a half years sounds like they gave you a fat tard bonus tbqh
If I was the garbage thief guy I'd be pretty pissed, but then again I don't loot other peoples thrashcans.

>>33473868
>I was upset because someone took care of some of my garbage
Wtf, anon?

>>33473868
>[List of quotes to all the replies]
I'm surprised there are this many retards in this thread.
He started off the thread claiming he was innocent, and just 3 posts later he admits to it, and no anon catches it.

>>33477499
Convincing a jury you are innocent != actually being innocent

>>33473716 (OP)
Jail is nothing like people make it out to be. Especially in movies and the media. It's not that dangerous unless you make it dangerous. I just did 5 months and before that I did like 8 months. No fights, no problems with any CO's, no real serious problems but I'm also super quiet and I'm nice to everyone I meet. Just stick to yourself.

Don't trust anyone, don't barrow anything, don't touch anything that isn't yours, don't gossip, don't tryda make friends, don't talk to anyone, be respectful to all the CO's no matter what and be humble and people won't bother you. Just stay in your lane and you'll be cool. Don't give anyone any of your relatives or family members information. Don't leave any papaerwork with your info on it or pictures out. I'd just send all that home. Don't wear nice clothes or spend too much money. Just wear what they sell and give you. Eat what they give you. Don't make yourself a target in any way possible thinking no one will try you because there is gonna be people in there no matter where you go waiting to try you and waiting for you to slip up in some way or get something from you.

When I was in there I ordered some paper and colored pencils and I'd draw names for people on paper and envelopes and they'd pay me and send it home or put it on their wall or binders. Tryda think of a hobby or something you can do while in there. A lot of people wrote their first novels in jail. Most facilities also allow you to order books and magazines so you could think of some good books you'd like to read while in there and make plans to have someone send them to you or possibly take them in with you.

One thing I will say tho is this. No ones gonna raoe you, no ones gonna tryda take your manhood, no ones gonna bother you unless you make yourself look like an easy target either by acting tough or just flat out careless not paying attention to your surroundings. Remember, no one in there is your friend nor do they care about you idc who they R

>>33473716 (OP)
DO NOT PLEA. IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST OFFENSE, FIGHT IT. PROBATION AND PROGRAMS MAY BE THE BETTER OUTCOME.

PROSECUTORS ARE VERY FUCKING MESSY AND SLOPPY.

>>33473868
My friend, what is your skin colour if I may ask?

>>33473868
based

>>33473716 (OP)
Don't let anyone put you on the spot or disrespect you or punk you or embarrass you. If someone disrespects you then disrespect them back. Do NOT, I don't care who it is. Do NOT turn down any fights. If you have to get splattered by the biggest person in there then so be it, if it gets to that point. There is only one language people understand behind bars and that's aggression and violence. I'm in my 30s and I actually got into my first fight ever while being locked up about 6 months ago. I've only done like 2 years behind bars in my whole life altogether. A few months here, few days there, over the span of like 17 years

A few months ago I was locked up at this program. Everyone liked me and was cool with me but there was this one weird, possibly slow, older guy in there. I think something was wrong with him but we were walking back from rec one day, I was in front of him but I had my hands inside the sleeves of my hoody and he was like: "Reach out and hold that door for me Boy!" I looked stunned at him as if you talking to me? He was like: "Yeah, I'm talking to YOU Chomo!!!" Now I'll say this. What bothered me most is that I'm the most nicest, quietest person ever but when I heard the word "Chomo" I knew I was gonna hit this guy. I immediately decked this dude in the side of the head an curled em. Took off on em an hit em like 5-6 times in the face and head. Everyone was looking lol someone yelled "Get em!!" Beat his ass!! LOL This dude tried to hold onto my arm and wouldn't let go so I stopped and the coolest part about this is we didn't even get in trouble and that night when I walked in my dorm, the whole dorm started clapping, like literally gave me an applause an from that point on I didn't have any problems whatsoever. Everyone was cool with me, everyone respected me. People would even come up to me and give me props for doing it.

>>33473716 (OP)
you never know, that could very well be the place you discover who you truly are

Being locked in a cell is the most insane anxiety inducing experience ever. You try and sleep through most of it as you can until you physically can’t sleep anymore. You check the clock outside your door and it’s only been 7 minutes. They let you out for a little bit and you get to socialize with other shitty people if you want to then back in your cell. Even your cell light doesnt go off, it’s just dimmed at night.

>>33473716 (OP)
I got 8 months for criminal harassment and mischief after putting love letters around my love interest's house and borrowing some of their clothes when they were on vacation. They didn't understand the love and appreciation that went into it, but alas. She will once my restraining order expires in September, luckily my peace bond expired a month ago as well... If I can't have her, nobody can. Anyways, unless you're a molester of some kind or a rapist, most people will keep to themselves. If you treat people the same way you'd treat bees, they tend to leave you alone in the same way that bees would. I think it's also important to not be overly friendly with other people. They'll either think that you're being sus, or they'll take it as an invitation to take advantage of you. Neither outcomes are favourable to you. Don't show off, or brag about your crimes either. I seen someone get their shit rocked for being a punk, but then if you're violent they'll send you to Adseg which apparently isn't the greatest place to be. Lucky for me I've never been. The bottom line is that if you don't cause trouble for other people, then other people won't cause trouble for you. Hope that you get through it and come out better on the other side. I know I sure did. Find some hobbies, read more, learn to play cards... When I was in I had a lot of time to reflect on my love and her irrational fears, and knowing that I'd do better next time. It pushed me to exercise and become a more knowledgeable, well-rounded person. In the end, your time there is what you make it. Prison can either make you or break you. I'm hoping that in your case it's the former rather than the latter. Good luck man! :)

>>33477786
>If I can't have her, nobody can
based and unrehabilitated

>>33473868
>I'm going to prison over someone going through my le hecking garbagarino

>>33473716 (OP)
shank someone on your first day to make sure people are intimidated by you then you have to make someone your bitch

>>33473716 (OP)
This is advice on how to keep your sentence short, safe, and simple. Prison is not a place to make friends.

Before you go:
- Sort out your finances. Cancel all your subscriptions, ensure all debts are paid if that's possible. Sell anything you can.
- Get a storage unit for your stuff, pay in advance or use credit.
- Build rapport with any friends/family you still have. They might help you out with commissary or send you books.

The usual tips:
- Keep your head down. Mind your own business.
- Keep everyone at an acquaintance level, but be friendly.
- Do not accept ANY favors. Don't give any either.
- Avoid conflict, avoid gangs.
- Races in prisons stick together. Don't piss off blacks/latinos/peckerwood.
- If you're working, it's easier to stay out of trouble.
- Stay busy. Read books, get involved in activities, and exercise.
- If they have an AA/religious program that works for you, participate.
- DO NOT snitch. Avoid guards or anyone with bad temperaments.


A busy mind/body is out of trouble and the best thing you can do is occupy your brain/body while you're inside. It can be monotonous but as soon as you form daily habits, time will begin to pass faster than you realize.

While you need to be sociable, Do not trust anyone. Don't talk unless you have to. This can be a lot more relaxing depending what security you're assigned, but assuming it's an assault charge at a minimum.

If you behave well, keep to yourself, and everything else you might even be able to shorten your sentence or get parole. Stay strong brother.

>>33477866
Don't gamble, don't drink, and don't do drugs.

Avoid anyone that does, as you're only playing with the devil.

May sound pansy-ass, but the last thing you want to do is get involved in the shenanigans that follow.

>>33473868
Emotionally, I agree with you: logically, I don't. I would get pissed at them for digging in my garbage but I think beating them is the wrong way to go about it. You could've called authorities or could've done something.

>>33473868
Based but stupid.
I mean, why? Were you afraid he'd be stealing your information from thrown out letters or something?

>>33477977
Not OP but I had a very old neighbor who would go through the apartment garbage bin and collect this and that. It is weirdly infuriating.

You wanna be mail fwwiends? :3

>>33473716 (OP)
Which country?

Put in the work OP

>>33477537
Actually decent advice for once

>>33477786
You're going to jail again bud. You're a lunatic

>>33473716 (OP)
what did you do

>>33473716 (OP)
I don’t know mayne. I might end up in the same situation soon but you actually acted on some crazy shit.

Take advantage of any counsellor while you’re there what you did is evil. If you make good progress they might let you out early. Just stop being a complete psychopath for two minutes and think “do I deserve this?” You attacked someone with a baseball bat over garbage… did you know it’s legal in most jurisdictions for the public to access that once it’s at the curb? What you did is beyond reprehensible.

>>33477786
Imagine being this cucked to a fucking woman. You could just move on like any normal man does and find a bitch who actually wants to be with you.

>>33473716 (OP)
What's the accusations?
What is the major evidence?
What are the actual facts?

If you want real advice we need this.
They aren't offering you a plee unless you have a case or at least a chance.

>>33473868
if youre willing to bash someones skull in, why not go find a rotting animal carcass and throw that in your trash every week until he fucks off? or just throw your feces on top of your rubbish.
larp thread btw