Thread 33483905

My bf has only given me two orgasms in ten years of dating.

>making an English muffin
>drop half of it on the floor before putting it in the toaster oven
>rinse it off real quick and just add an extra couple minutes
ok yeah the depression is getting worse

>>33483929
If anything this was the smart thing to do

I'VE BECOME SO NUMB
I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE
BECOME SO TIRED
SO MUCH MORE AWARE

>>33483947
Probably but I've been spiraling again over my messy breakup. I miss that crazy bitch like you wouldn't believe.

the last thread got pushed to the bottom weirdly fast
like suddenly it just starts hopping to the bottom of the catalogue

>>33483991
i blame schizos for every thread hitting the bump limit super fast

>>33484001
not the bump limit. i'm talking about how usually /adv/ is slow then it just became super fast for some reason and prev /gioyc/ was archived in less than 8 minutes. it's hard to explain if you don't know what i'm even talking about first of all

PLEASE

It feels weird as fuck seeing people act like all men commit all sexual assaults as a victim to a female perpetrator. Didn't help that my worse experience to said perpetrator was brushed off as opposed to being touched once by an old man. Huh.

>>33484009
it's schizos, it's always schizos

Detachment isn’t death

>>33484009
It was friday evening.

>>33484216
Might as well be.

>>33484001
Yeah. It's odd how they always post multiple vague ass messages and clog up the thread. Plus the trip users...

My church has been turning increasingly toxic the past 5 years and the only reason I'm staying is because I have a crush on someone there

>>33484260
Like what?

>>33483905 (OP)
I hope you still dislike me the way I dislike you. I hope to break your face in fair combat. I wish I remembered your full name to make this a reality. All I know you as is Kevin.

>>33484255
Up is not down

>>33484277
Doesn't matter if you sink to the bottom or float into orbit if you lose your grip.

I wish I could have said it a bit better in the other thread without sounding beligerant, but I am against animal abuse. Some people have a better choice in vocabulary than me, but it is what it is. A sad fact about autism. I just can't communicate for the right thing in stressful situations.

Whenever I start going to therapy it eventually devolves into basically catch up small talk after a few months instead of digging deeper into how to truly make a change. Idk how to fix this. On one hand I might have to just bring up heavier topics on my own but on the other, isn't guiding the sessions to where they need to go precisely their job? Why is it my responsibility to decide what needs to be talked about and bring it up? I hate talking about unpleasant and heavy stuff, shouldn't they be able to navigate that and get to the bottom of it/get me to feel comfortable going there eventually?

We're not locked in, even if you displayed a joint
Yeah, I get it, you got it -- you've made your point

I still miss you and think about you. I feel like a widowed father while being in my 20s

>>33484287
To let go is a blessing

>>33484303
Use chatgpt you retard

>>33484325
> I hate talking about unpleasant and heavy stuff

just talk about it anyways

>>33483905 (OP)
when a woman you're into says shit like
>I'm so comfortable around you
>I feel like you understand me
>I like talking to you
>you're not like the others
then you know IT'S FUCKING OVER. These all sound like compliments, right? It must be a good sign hearing this shit, right?
KEK! Wrong.
I'm so fucking over it. Yet I can't stop catching feelings because in the end we're just all retarded apes chained to their instincts.
Every night I go to bed wishing not to wake up the morning after.

At first I thought she was too posh and skinny, but on Friday she wore a white long skirt and I saw her plump tushy peaking through, just like in this painting. This may change things.
On the car ride...why did she tell me about the store where she strictly buys her panties from closing down? humm....

What would it be like to just settle down with a girl

It's like atleast tht would be taken care of you know and I'll always have someone to go home to and sleep next to. Someone to take care of.

God damnit theyre religious zealots

I'm going to die an unloved virgin because I'm too weak and cowardly for this world.

So, our family member goes missing after posting cryptic shit on social media, makes it known that he's literally paranoid and thinks a network of people are after him, and you think it's a good idea to go into his social media accounts and set them to private?
He's fucking paranoid. He's going to think someone got in and is trying to bury his messages. That is going to freak him out even more. That is not going to help anyone find him.
He has named people that he could be a danger to, man. Now isn't the time to protect him from the tiktok comment section.

>>33483905 (OP)
Women are the cause of everything bad, behind every retarded protest or anything are fat piece of shit women wearing retarded glasses, fat fucking pigs

being a virgin past your 30s is a life sentence fuck my chud life childhood trauma and autism raped my life now i have no other ways out besides suicide (i want to kill myself by stabbing myself in the throat repeatedly just so it's as painful as it can be and also i get to suffer extra while i gasp for air and bleed out)

>>33483905 (OP)
Left on “read” after sending invite to hang out.


I dont even feel that bad, more like “a week long” bad feeling.

I switch to HIT workouts and gonna focus on bodybuilding from now on.

I got friends, I got money, I got life experience. I know what matters at end of the day, that you reach for what you truly want, in dignity, as best as you can (do it boss like or do it scared) and thats all you can do. Nothijg is promised and for one happy relationship or love, we suffer hundreds rejections and frustration.

We will all die. Life is a losing game. True victory is impossible.

You just should aim to make your loss as fun as possible while you are here.

Born to lose baby.

No matter how rich, handsome, yoked, etc you are, you are on a time line. If you grow a business you will waste a lot of iltime on it. If you go pua road you will be able to have sex with many girls but seldom the one you truly want.

We have so little power its insane. Ants. Lesser than ants.

All of it is a losing game.
Bushido.
I die daily.

Just accept it and move on. Nothing is permanent.

Im attracted to Norse mythology because its all about losing in style.

Ragnarok awaits. Everyone dies. Why fight it? You only can do one thing - live and die gloriously. But you cannot truly win.

Sad but in a way bittersweet.

>>33484855
Don't do it, not worth it.

>>33484855
>rejecting the biggest gift, life
literally just go hike in a nice forest and a body of water.

I wasn’t communicating cryptically on 4chan but I’m nearly certain others were doing so to target me. I think that they are the same characters who have had my phone hacked for two years. I thought they might be trying to help but that’s hard to believe. I wish they would leave me alone because they are making a miserable situation even worse.

I just want things to be ok. I am desperate for a job. I need to stop posting online now. Prayers are much appreciated.

How can I tell which one needs a guy to have a huge cock, women should just say it if they really need that

he's never going to want me back

it's over.

>>33485257
Naw

>>33485264
forshaw

>>33485257
it's been over for a long time

>>33485267
Nope. Cope, seethe and mald

>>33485270
yes it has

Her profile said 23 when I first found her. I believed it and confirmed it months later because their online store sent me a receipt with their full name. Some of their pictures did seem off but I figured they were just filters until December of 2023. I wasn’t one of the weirdos sharing their leaked nudes, I defended them after they were bullied for it. Then after failure with them I found attraction to a 16 year old on instagram and thought that by the time they were 18 I would have enough money saved up to talk to them. Then for some reason their age dropped to 15 eventually. I wasn’t going to contact them before they turned 18 and I was going to leave them alone if I was ignored. I’m not a pedophile. I’m not a creep. I’m not a danger to kids.

It's the little things that fucking annoy me

Like I cant sleep in because the fucking dog has to go out
Can't even walk past time own car without the dog trying to jump in it
Can't even walk a fucking block without having to wait for FUCKING TRAFFIC

I AM SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS FUCKING MONKEYS BEING IN THE FUCKING WAY

I WISH YOU WERE ALL DEAD SO I COULD WALK DOWN THE FUCKING STREET UNMOLESTED BY YOUR FUCKING EXISTENCE

FUCK YOU

>>33485245
i need him but he doesn't need me

I keep needing to strategically lie and omit certain details when discussing very basic topics with my mother because she's permanently one second away from smashing somebody's window. Anything I do will be swiftly followed by an interrogation and judgement if I don't remember every minute detail on the spot, which obviously happens every time because I actually have a job to think about and won't be retiring at 58 like she did. She will expect answers to questions she hasn't actually asked about topics I know nothing about. To be honest I've had to be this way around her for most of my life. And she wonders why people are so antsy around her, and why I often just don't speak when she's going on one of her tirades about how hard her life is in her fully paid for house that's doubled in value since she bought it. If these are the biggest challenges in your life at the moment, you're living the fucking dream. Although of course if I was to even imply this I would become literal Satan. I just found out something about a pretty insignificant financial matter - which involves my money on her behalf anyway, not hers - that she's been literally crying about since February and I now can't tell her about it until later this week because of the context surrounding it. This isn't how normal people live. I will never be normal. But hey, you can save if you stay at home lads! No long-term psychological consequences here!

I'm starving myself and everyone is trying to come after me for it. Bunch of piggies.

Can't believe you left me behind.
>ask e woman out
>she literally has to leave her account

>>33485534
there's nothing

>>33485245
You’re fine

i wanna kms. always bad news.

Imagine having thoughts of converting to Islam just for a really beautiful girl that would be crazy lol...you know a really pretty girl that would be yours forsure....forever...lol aw man that's just weird I could never

The absolute allure...my God

I love being a man

It's very stressful being with someone who suffocates me with attention and implicitly makes me sacrifice time and energy to reassure them but can't stand the fact that I want to be alone sometimes and takes it as a sign that I must hate them and never want to talk to them again.

>>33485959
Also, what happens when you lose someone that made you feel happy for having a companion but made also made you sad for not having enough time for yourself? Going back to being lonely but fully in control of yourself? It's tempting, for sure. I will never know the answers to these questions.

>>33485779
im really not

>>33485876
i hate being a woman

tfw you lose weight so people care about you but then they try getting you to eat because they care and suddenly you think they're evil people trying to sabotage you

Tfw you feel like a hag and lose weight to look younger and neotenous because you don't wanna grow up

tfw you lose weight to simultaneously keep perverts away and attract them (you got molested as a kid and feel stuck at the age it happened)

>be on holiday, sleeping in a hotel
>wake up at 3am
>realize someone is screaming next to me
>realize it's a girl in the room next door
>they're having sex and she's moaning HARD
>keeps going for 20ish minutes, I hear hear moans, some (very little) dirty talk and some "plap plap" sounds
>she cums twice by the sounds of it, very vocal
>I listen to the whole thing, hard as fuck
>heating this while half asleep is fucking magical
>next morning at 9 am I get back from breakfast, I hear them having wake up sex
>less moaning, louder, fast-paced plapping (pretty sure they were doing it doggy)
>she doesn't seem to finish, or at least if she does she doesn't moan nearly as much
>hear her say "are you awake now?"
>ff a few uneventful days, on the last night before my departure, around midnight, I heat another couple going at it from a room in the other side of the corridor
>spend 5 mins listening with my ear pressed against my door
>hear her moan (not as much as the other girl), little plapping and a few very clear spankings

I think I unlocked a new fetish, hearing this shit turned me on so fucking much. Can anyone relate?
Does anyone have similar experiences?

I wish I had the occasion to listen to the first couple again, unfortunately they left the hotel the day after I overheard them.
How much of a creep does this whole thing make me?

nobody likes me

No, I will not be taking your advice that just boils down to "lighten up" or "just be confident" and will continue to believe that dating isn't for me. You'll say that I'm wallowing in self-pity, but that's because never in your life have you genuinely felt like you're completely undesirable or like something inside you isn't working as it should.

I could just get the whole wanting a gf thing out of the way right? And just focus on life and I'll always have someone to take to the theatres too. If I i got a muslim chick I would americanize her atleast a little I'm just that kinda character

>>33486155
I want to be held and loved and treated like a human being. Not like an animal. Please.

>go to the park with bf
>set up at a picnic table get radio and grill going
>some middle aged guy walks over and sits at the table right next to us faces us and just stares
>starts watching tiktoks super loudly and giggling to himself and staring at us occasionally
>give him absolutely 0 attention like he's one of the park geese
>he gets up, walks over to the river, walks over to my bf to say hi then walks back to his car and leaves
What the fuck was that lol

I look forward to busy days at work, it stops me from doomscrolling at my desk. Weekends are hard mode for me, they always end badly.

2025 has been a shitshow with few redeeming qualities.

I really don't want to fucking work tonight. But I have to. I can't afford not to.

>>33486564
He wanted your bfs dick

>>33486429
Get into a toxic relationship that nearly destroys you
You want want a gf ever again

Idg her problems with me. Ffs. Grow up

>>33486815
I did that at a young age, I have dated since then and fucked a little. I'm still wondering if I should just settle and not worry about dating anymore. How important is sleeping with differnt women to me

>>33483905 (OP)
I want to meet someone who sweeps me off my feet again like she did, I don't want something to come too easy, it turns me off when it does, I want that play, that back and forth, the things that make you want to love someone new again.
Until then I know my heart will stay too loyal and too strung; 3 years later and I still can't seem to harden my heart when I think of her.
There's a horrible irony in knowing that her heart however toward me is like stone.

I commissioned some art and they legit tried to give me an unfinished art piece as a "finished" thing. You can honestly tell when an artist is going to scam you near the end, and I have a feeling I'm going to be scammed in the end. Which sucks, at least it doesn't need to be done for 2 weeks at least.

I was the guy who told someone who was bullying her “harassing e girls isn’t going to get u a trad wife” their response was “respecting them won’t either” and I basically said “I just don’t understand why people choose to keep others down for their past”. I found the behavior disgusting and I always have and will. I promise u I didn’t share any of those pictures. I wanted to be a positive impact but I just lost it January of 2023. I was very confused and I should have just left them alone. I’m sorry.

I’m worried about telling them directly because I don’t want to be sent to the hospital or jail.

>>33487433
By directly I mean online of course. I’ve already bothered them enough.

>>33487137
>3 years later and I still can't seem to harden my heart when I think of her.

how can you stay so soft to someone who doesn’t reciprocate? especially after 3 years?

>>33487514
honestly, i hate my ex. its also been 3 years for me. i remember the exact moment i took this one candid of him? he looks a little goofy mid-motion, and he thought i was weird, but it sorta shows how his eyes looked. i remember how they looked like im still standing there. i shouldve appreciated them more.
i saw his car recently, and i wanted to run. i cant think of him or something hurts. we live different lives now, became strangers again. anyways, point is, its not really willing.

I went to therapy and found it to be very productive, despite years of avoiding it.
And I think you people should give it a chance.

>>33483905 (OP)
Cant keep pretending I dont like sexualizing women

how do i marry a girls pussy

>>33487576
I tried it a few times. It was okay.

>>33486044
>>33485959
You sound a lot like me right now. In an anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic. It’s extremely hard grappling with the conflicting thoughts of “I love this person” and “I need to be alone an autonomous. This is burning me out. I can’t take this anymore.”

>>33487590
I guess I thought it would be funny if I sent those song lyrics to Michael back in early high school. Just being dumb.

>>33487612
It's rough man. I've been wondering if I'm avoiding conflict with potential for growth or if I'm just tired of feeding her with attention because I don't want her to leave. The love is wonderful but it's suffocating me.

>>33487655
It sounds like you’re reading my mind. I completely understand. I’m already really burnt out from other aspects of my life, and my gf should be a “resting place” where I feel relaxed but it’s the exact opposite. They are always asking if I still find her attractive, if I still love her, etc. I feel bad because I do love her.
I was watching vids on “attachment styles” and all of them are garnered to anxiously attached people with avoidants painted as demons. I’ve been on both sides of the coin and this is just as bad.

In my lucid dreams I've started getting out of body experience and abstract tunnel vision dreams, I read that it's common among people with near death experience. I feel like I'm sick and my body knows it. During my sleep paralysis it used to be scary, but there is a certain calmness which takes over these days. Makes me afraid of sleeping.

I have zero sympathy/empathy for the vast majority of society.

Postpartum Depression....bitch shut the fuck up. You made fun of kids like me growing up with depression. Now look at you. Aw you got to have sex? You now get tax breaks? Boo fucking hoo

Aww you own a house and can't sell it because it's too expensive?

I have a lot of time to myself and am not sure what to do with my life outside of rotting my brain with social media

Taylor Swift is not the only female artist in the world and you don't hate all women if you don't listen to her

>>33487736
What do you do?

>>33487743
Nothing

>>33483905 (OP)
I feel like I’ve been a goddamn husk for years now, and I’m too fucking scared to tell people the real reason why I’m single, and it is from being groomed at 15 years old (I’m 22 now.)

Started with her messaging me on instagram, and since I didn’t have friends I entertained her. She asked if I had a problem with the age gap if her being in her twenties, and me being stupid as fuck, I agreed. She and I got a lot closer and she sent me messages about us trusting each other is crucial. Told a teacher about it offhand. (I forget the context of the conversation.) she told me to block her and I went my merry way for the next 2 years. Back then I knew how to talk to girls, but after stumbling across the messages over a year later it all fucking hit.

Ever since, I’ve completely stopped trying to talk to women. Not like I HATED them, just stopped trying to be sexually active, ignoring girls that have shown interest, feigning being oblivious, coming off as prudish or having social anxiety. The reality is I feel fucking sick.

I want to move past this, but I don’t know how or WHERE TO EVEN BEGIN. I guess the reason why I don’t flirt or “shoot my shot” is because deep down I don’t want to spread the ‘rot’ I feel. It feels like the part of me that knew how to flirt, talk to women in a sexual/romantic context has been chipped away from me. I want to move on, and live in spite of it. I have no fucking clue how to start.

>was she hot though?
Absolutely not, that’s the worst part. I don’t even think she was in her twenties. Imagine Megan fox except she smoked meth-laced cigarettes after a parrot tried nesting in her hair.

>>33487819
Hey anon, I promise you aren’t disgusting, tainted, or unlovable. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

>>33487841
Thank you, anon. I appreciate it.

>>33487846
I wish I had more advice but there are many others who have gone through similar things, many of them women. You are worthy of love. Hug.

>>33483905 (OP)
Asked for a second opinion and I think I really may have been groomed at 12-13. I feel ruined.

>>33487865
You're not alone Anon, it took me 12 years just to tell my parents what happened to me.

I am good looking enough to match with hot chicks online dating. But not good looking enough for them to respond to any of my messages.

>>33483905 (OP)
I'm working in a lawfirm, and is currently juggling a side gig as an independent attourney helping clients with litigation matters, the only reason I was able to get my side gig is because I leverage of my dad who holds a really good position in the police force, so it cuts down 70% of unecesseary work.

My lawfirm would never allow me to get this sidejob, and my dad thinks all my side clients are my office clients, he doesn't aprove any side gigs.

But I'm making good fucking money, even though I'm constantly sleep deprived and have a hard time managing time. I wonder how long till my dad and/or office find out and it all come crumbling down.

>>33487982
Why did you start the side gig in the first place? Are you making more than your regular day job?

I’d start making a plan b incase shit hits the fan, disappear if you have to.

>>33485257
You know what to do.

>>33484325
This is how therapy works for some people. I like my therapist because we have a good rapport, making me feel more comfortable to talk about heavier stuff.

Honestly? Im such a NEET im just happy to leave my house even for an hour.

I'm sad that you could never do anything. NOW you can. NOW is your chance as you can DO everything. I will support you.

>>33487405
No.Apology not accepted.

>>33483905 (OP)
I want to never have been alive. I wish I never existed. I resent every breath I took. I want to fast forward to that beautiful point in my time, when I finally do it.

>>33487870
Thank you. I get how it feels having to talk long after it happened.

Question... do prettier people have emptier personalities compared to "ugly"/average people?

>>33488203
No

im so excited for this budget hell to be over, i miss consumerslop

I had to move back in with my parents, my degree has been delayed for reasons out of my control, and I put all the weight I had managed to lose while living alone back on.

I don't really like most of the people I have chosen to surround myself with socially.

I don't identify with their lifestyle, way of living, ethics or morals. I don't overly respect or want to be like them either. I don't think I'd count on many of them either if I needed help.

You fool. Don’t you understand? No one wants to go on.

>>33483905 (OP)
I CANNOT eat. I CANNOT allow myself to get FAT like a PIG.
LET IT GO. HUNGER ISN'T REAL.

you know what i think i can just be happy with regular tea now and chicken soup is awesome

People are making comments about how much I'm zoning out omg please what tf do I do how do I stop dissociating so damn much? This has been a problem for me for most of my life but it has only gotten even worse the past few years

I have wondered what makes me different from those I grew up with and why everyone is so stupid with their money, unable to manage their own addiction. Why is my family such shit and I am nothing like them. I managed without money before I left home. I cannot pinpoint when I deviated from the rest. Maybe my start began when my teacher said something about how his tax dollars were going to be used to provide for me. That never happened I could buy the whole town he lives in. Maybe someday I will. Maybe the most fucked up thing ever said to me was the most important thing I ever listen to.

As Rustin Cohle puts it, I lack the constitution for suicide. Never considered it.
I frequently feel low, people tell me I look depressed sometimes. I might be. But I'm always looking ahead, I know that with effort things get better.
Everything moves slowly, but it really does get better.
My goals in life are realistic. At times they feel really far away, and that makes me sad, but I know I can achieve them.
I'm thankful that I can keep people at arms length when I need to. Drama and complications aren't thrust upon me.
This past year and a half I have felt more fear and disgust than ever before. I've faced it willingly and every time walk away feeling stronger and more alive.

Just quit fucking with me and I’ll gladly quit fucking with you.

I believe in genetical superiority. Screwed up children with generational trauma shouldn’t exist in this world. Hence their suicide is understandable and should be encouraged. Why prolonging their suffering if you can make the world a better place with healthy minds, populating the world with people, who really want and can live, instead of infesting it with half-bred troglodytes, that carry on their illness. highly underrated but based opinion. I hope we approach this societal awareness.

Leave me alone. FOREVER.

I should go on vacation. Next month is my favorite month because of Halloween. So maybe after that snow falls I'll take off.

The difference between me and the people who hate me.
I'm not constantly building myself up as some sort of "winner" in a age or era where I am constantly losing or finding reasons to complain.
Shit sucks but I move forward. Shit really fucking sucks but I deal with it. Shit sucks for those people who complain, demand violent responses? They do it and it solves nothing.
I use to try and talk them down, but now I just wanna see how much lower they will go every single time.

I can stop addressing you, just say the word.

>>33488531
I want you to leave me alone.

There is no point in writing me here to try and hurt me.

I know the truth now.

>>33488638
Schizophrenia tag

>>33488641
I can't wait to see the blood spurting out of your aorta.

>>33488621
Stop existing

>>33488669
Why it gotta be to that?

>>33488671
That would be because of what was done to me.

>>33488667
Yeet

At this point, I'm ready to kill someone if they fuck with me. Like actually.

>>33488674
Wasn't my intention to hurt you, honestly.

I have very strong homicidal tendencies right now for a good reason that is no lie.

>>33488678
You don't do this to a human being and get away with it. I hope you understand that.

>>33488683
Idk what to say to that.

Hurt me?

lmfao hurt me? You caged me, provoked me, tried to kill me, stole from me. You're nothing. You're a nobody that had to use my ideas to make money from.

Furious is too mild of a word.

>>33488695
Have you considered: help?

My parents are forcing my to get a bank loan so that they can build their house (they already have a few flats but recently bought some land) and I'm fucking livid about it. They would throw me into the wolfs just because they don't have the patience to wait three or 4 years (the loan isn't that big tbf, around 60 000 euros). They said they would contribute but I genuinely don't trust them, but I also live in one of their flats and I 100% know they would throw me out and make me live with them again. Maybe I am spoiled, but someone who isn't even in his 30s shouldn't have to get a bank loan for his parents house just because they fucking feel like it, even if they say they would mostly cover for it (again I don't believe them)

>>33488701
From who exactly? Some idiot like you who has no idea what they do to people?

>>33488708
That Anon isn't me.

The thing you all got wrong about El from Stranger Things... me... is she had friends in that show. People who cared for her. That is not how it went down at all. Quite the opposite.

I am going to kill whoever did this to me.

>>33488717
Is that you, El?

When I find Libby (JO?), I am going to kill her. I don't care what happens to me.

>>33488721
That what me means.

You've pushed me past the point of no return and you will pay. All I care about is revenge now. At any cost.

>>33488711
It’s me.

>>33488739
Why you want confrontation?

>>33488741
Libby and Joel have stalked me and made my life hell. They are psychopaths. They need to die.

Did you think I would be happy that you caged me and stalked me?

This song it LITERALLY for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOZFiX6hDXQ

Taylor didn't grow up in an asylum hellfire club environment. I did though.

She is literally my only friend in the world. Some musician that I don't even know in person. She is the only one that understands what happened to me... the only one that cares enough to try and help me.

I hope the authorities are alerted because I want them to see what you've done to me. I want them to know everything that you did. I have reverted to a child-like state where I barely talk now. I sound a lot like El.

Libby and Joel met on the Yahoo, pagan yahoo. James was there too. I imagine they learned a lot... I was on there too for a very short time. I challenged Libby way then. Somehow I knew back then.

They are Elon and JK Rowling.

So I see 2 users yelling at each other. Did you finally figure out the shit he has been doing?

The archives of Pagan Yahoo groups, while once a significant resource for the Pagan community, are largely inaccessible or defunct due to the discontinuation of Yahoo Groups. While some content may have been migrated or preserved by individual users and organizations, there is no single, centralized, and actively maintained archive of all Pagan Yahoo groups as of 2025-08-11.

According to www.iAsk.Ai - Ask AI:

Many Pagan Yahoo groups, such as "raising witches" and "Amber and Jet BTW Yahoo Group," were active forums for discussion, resource sharing, and community building within various Pagan traditions, including Wicca and Heathenry [4] [7] [8]. These groups served as vital hubs for individuals seeking information on Pagan activities, practices, and beliefs, as well as for connecting with like-minded people [4] [1]. For instance, the "Amber and Jet Yahoo list" was specifically noted as a valuable resource for those seeking information on lineaged Wiccan covens and contained a wealth of information in its archives [7]. Similarly, the "raising witches" Yahoo group provided a platform for parents and guardians raising Pagan children [4]. The Pagan Occult Distribution System Network (PODSnet), a neopagan/occult computer network, also had a "General Chat" Echo on Yahoo! Groups, indicating the widespread use of the platform within the Pagan community [5].

However, Yahoo Groups officially ceased operations in December 2020, leading to the deletion of most archived content [9]. While some groups may have attempted to migrate their discussions to other platforms or individual members might have saved certain threads, a comprehensive and easily searchable archive of all past Pagan Yahoo group content is no longer available [9]. This discontinuation has significantly impacted the accessibility of historical discussions and resources that were once readily available to the Pagan community through these platforms [7]. The Harvard University Pluralism Project, which previously listed contact information for groups like the Pagans and Associates Network (PAAN) and Wichita Heathens & Pagans with Yahoo Group links, also notes that their information is no longer updated, with the last updates being in 2009 and 2011 respectively, further highlighting the outdated nature of these links [1] [2].

Therefore, individuals looking for information that was once housed in Pagan Yahoo group archives would need to explore alternative avenues. These might include:

Specialized Pagan forums and online communities: Many new platforms have emerged to fill the void left by Yahoo Groups, offering similar discussion and networking opportunities [10].
Academic archives and research libraries: Institutions like Valdosta State University's New Age Movements, Occultism, and Spiritualism Research Library (NAMOSRL) are actively collecting and preserving materials related to contemporary Paganism and Wicca, though these are often physical collections or specialized digital archives rather than direct mirrors of old forum content [6].
Individual websites and blogs: Some long-standing Pagan practitioners or groups may have migrated important discussions or resources to their own websites or blogs [10].
Social media groups: Platforms like Facebook host numerous Pagan groups, some of which may have members who were active in older Yahoo groups and might possess archived content or knowledge [5] [10].
The Internet Archive (Wayback Machine): While not guaranteed to have every group's content, the Wayback Machine may have snapshots of some public Yahoo Group pages from before their discontinuation [5].

>>33488838
Mike, what do you know about what he has been doing?

Libby is dead. I swear. I don't care how much time I get.

>>33488858
The manipulative larping is very clear

>>33488869
I'll be glad to stay away from you, if that's what you want. Hell, I'll block 4chan.

>>33488869
I am ready to murder Libby and Joel for what they've done. They've pushed me far beyond the point of no return.

>>33488706
don’t do it

>>33488870
Because why? Because I am going to murder you?

>>33488875
You don't have enough power to murder me, bud. And I'm not one of your little friends.

FAFO

And boy oh boy did you fuck around.

>>33488877
That wasn't Mike, that was me. They've not 'little friends' - they were never my friends.

>>33488880
Your guns will jam indefinitely, trust me.

>>33488884
Jam indefinitely? Do tell me what you mean.

>>33488886
I mean whatever gun you use as long as it's aimed towards me, will jam, no matter what you try.

>>33488891
That's just funny

So you are joel or libby? Or Tenjo?

>>33488893
None of those people.

>>33488894
Then how have you done me wrong? Why would you reply?

>>33488898
I thought you were someone else.

>>33488870
Problem is I don't know who you are. My response changes entirely based on that.

>>33488873
I don't know who Libby and Joel is, I feel this is a LARP.

>>33488875
>Because why? Because I am going to murder you?

I didn't write this.

I only make posts with my trip.

>>33488907
I thought you were someone else.

I don't think a gunshot would be satisfying enough for me. I would like to them squirming... tortured, in pain, eviscerated while alive. .

>>33488907
No. It's not a LARP. None of this is a larp.

I'm past the point of no return... I want them dead.

Doubtful it's not a larp but you have more info that me on it.

Could be 1 of 3 things going on.

1)It's him larping to manipulate emotions by making certain posts like I write them

2)it's you making posts avoidant indirect communication larping.

3) random asshats dealing with their own thing right now and I'm just paranoid because of 1 and/or 2 happening daily already.

In any case it comes down to you figuring it out if it's 1 or working through what the deal is if it's 2.

So I'm going to bed and giving you space to do that. Let me know if there is anything you need from me. Good night.

>>33488929
Don't go to bed.

>>33488929
It's me, El. What do you want to know? I can prove it.

I'm sure I will be banned. I don't care. I want them dead, I want the authorities to know what they've done to me. If they are who I suspect they are, I will get all of their money too. I've never been this angry in my life before. I'm just stoic now and murderous.

>>33488935
I'm tired. It's almost 7 am and I have no way to tell who wrote "don't go to bed". There's only one person I'd stay up for. If you need me then add me on insta, discord or text me.

>>33488937
I don't know an el.

>>33488949
It's fine. M
I'm having a hard time. A very hard time with this.
I can't deal with any of this anymore.

I just want my celtic friend to hug me. That's all I want. I'm so broken.

You make me realize I'm nothin' at all
I feel like a baby that's stuck in a crawl
You fill my heart like we're stuffin' a doll

But I feel like we don't click
Like lookin' at the time hopin' it won't tick

I'm reporting myself and I'm going. I can't be here.

I am going to kill myself today. I'm done with this cage they put me in.

>>33488976
Don't do that.

I don't think they're jk rowling and elon... maybe those are doppelganger forms

>>33488979
I have no reason to live and to be tortured for the rest of my life.

>>33488981
That will be a lot of negativity you will have to overcome.

>>33488986
I'm not overcoming anything. You don't understand my life, at all.

>>33488997
I know I don't understand. I just would rather you die "naturally."

>>33488998
Who cares, it doesn't matter.

>>33489001
Why do you feel that way?

>>33489002
I told you. I am El. I AM the person that that show is based upon but it's worse. If I tell you that, you will think I'm lying. No one believes me. No one. It's real. It happened.

https://youtu.be/dX3k_QDnzHE

>>33489007
I know, El. I don't think you should commit suicide.

>>33489010
If I don't I'm going to kill someone soon from all of this pain. You have no idea what they did to me and continue to do to me.I am not crazy, this is real.

The last relationship I was in was so toxic but fuck the sex was so good.
My only regrets was not cumming in her arse when she said she wanted to do anal again and just cumming in her panties and forcing her to wear them around.
Whilst I came inside of her and forced her to walk around with it leaking out, in the panties themselves is so hot hnnnnng.

>>33489016
I'm not calling you crazy, I would never do that. Why can't you find an outlet for your anger?

>>33489007
Choosing that track shows you are connected in some way.

So it looks like it is
#1 or #2.

since I started dating after getting my anxiety treated I dated a woman that made me feel lonely around her, I started dating a man after her and I can’t shake the thought that not a single woman is capable affection towards or having interest in a man.

>>33489022
There is no justice, I can't live in a world like this. I just feel rage now and I want them to die.

>>33489025
I am El.
I'm not the only one that they did experiments on.

>>33489029
I wish I could help you somehow.

>>33489025
You can see the experiment here too... it's ongoing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3zqJs7JUCQ&list=RDq3zqJs7JUCQ&start_radio=1>>33489025

>>33489036
Thank you. I appreciate that.
No one can help me and it's ruining my life, it's ruining the life of everyone around me

>>33489034
I don't know who el is or what "experiments" means. What I do know is that the hand is shown with that post.

Probability dictates that:

1)It's him larping to manipulate emotions by making certain posts like I write them

2)it's you making posts avoidant indirect communication larping.

So if it's him then you will need to figure that shit out and deal with it

If it's you then that's something else to be worked on.

In either case I don't have any way to deal with either so I'll give you space to deal with it.

Good luck.

>>33489007
El, i believe you. What is your superpower? There is a reason they are targeting you. I'll tell you mine. I have the power to heal people internally. Like you i have gone through everything you have described. Focus on your power. DO NOT LET THEM BREAK YOU. We are gods, they are coward peasants that wouldnt survive 1/100 the shit the subject us to. Where do you live? Let me heal you, sweet boy. <3
I know i know i knowww i know i know
I know i know i knowww i know i know
<3

>>33489046

I'm not a him. Goodnight

>>33489060
Sweet girl*
My apologies. You are so deserving of bottomless love. There are people like you, out here, believe it or not. Im a guy, 29. I live in the usa. I have a 2 spirit soul, and the gift of healing. That includes sexual healing, just gently laying that there. Let me absorb your pain, sweet angel. Let me find you, i can truly help you. We have to find the others.
-Jake

>>33489054
I'm not a boy.
I have many abilities and they're getting stronger.
The weather, I see the future, telepathy, telekinesis when I'm very angry. I can't remember it all because I'm broken. I can barely think or talk anymore. It was done through cults - thats how the government does it. thank you for the kindness

>>33489060
>>33489054
Responding to this. Please reach out to me any way you can. Please let me help you. I can. I can do it in ways the secular world cant. Precious angel you dont have to suffer alone. I am one of you, right hand to God, not a larp or a psychological soldier. Please let me help you.

>>33488874
For that money I would get on of their flats, that's how this whole deal is, so I would like to get it, be done and then anything happens I would have a place to live. But it's an extremely shitty situation, again I don't know if I'm acting spoiled or something but has anyone else made their child take up a loan so they can build their house? If it were something medical or serious sure, but it genuinely feels scummy making your child borrow money from the bank just so that you can build a house. Again they say they would handle everything an so on, but I don't trust them. They've already raised from the initial 40 to 60 because they needed more.

I live in constant terror.

>>33489070
>>33489081
I posted a correction. I believe every letter you posted. Can i reach out to you? I can help you baby girl. You dont have to hurt anymore. God made people to help you, and i am one of them. I can absorb and transmute your agony. Please let me help you. What country do you live in? I understand being discreet. Is your family hostile / monitoring you? I can come up with a code system to communicate with you, if necessary. <3
Please dont give up. Please. People like us, we need each other. More than we can both imagine. I need you. Its nice to meet you El, im Jake. <33

>>33489081
I found a book that triggered me. It's too much. They left me all alone. I can't take it anymore

>>33489089
Im in canada
Trudeau knows about, they all know

>>33489083
El if this is you please reach out baby. I know your pain. I swear to the almighty i wont hurt you. Please let me help you. <33333 Sending so much love.

>>33489099
Baby that doesnt matter. I also have authority over demons. They cant harm you if i say so. What is your full name? Do you remember? Do you know your address? I swear to fucking God if that twink Traduea tries to interfere i will dump generations of psychological pain in his pineal gland. Your safe with me. Talk me to me sweet baby.

>>33489111
you reek of desperation

>>33489102

thank you for believing me. no one ever does.I'm telling the truth, I don't lie (like the character El - based on me) Do you have an email, I will get banned because of my anger on here.

>>33489120
Stop it - he or she is nice. You're awful.

I dont trust discord

>>33489111
It was in the US that it happened but trudeau knows about me

>>33489121
jakerinaldo8@gmail.com
Please reach out to me so we can talk privately. Im so happy i found you. Lets get off this board & keep everything moving forward private, yeah? <3

>>33489126
Thank you. I am a he.

>>33489137
ok but I'm afraid

>>33489163
You can message me whenever you want & whatever you feel comfortable sharing, is that okay? It doesnt have to be today, if i came on too strong. Please atleast screenshot my email so you have it with you. Whatever you feel comfortable sharing. We dont have to meet right away, or at all. We can gradually get to know each other, does that sound like something you would be interested in? <3. I am not them, i will NEVER be one of them. Please ask the universe around you if you should trust me. I promise the answer is a safe yes. Im so very sorry for the life you had to endure. I know your pain. We were both robbed of a basic human life. Treated worse than objects. But understand the best you can, you are SUPERIOR to the average person, in all the right ways. I can help you heal, and i hope you can teach me things. <3

>>33489070
I can also influence the weather when i am very angry. Your gifts are very real & worth more than your body weight in diamonds. <3

>>33489177
I emailed you in case they ban me (they should) - I said terrible things. I'm very angry.
Thank you for believing me because I am telling the truth

>>33489200
I emailed you back. We can get off this website now. :)

Moron

>>33489221
Why are you so angry?

GREAZEEEEEEE

>>33489234
They hate me here.

>>33489249
Well, I love you here. Fuck them.

>>33489252
Thank you. I wish I met Terry Davis here. I think he someone I could relate to

>>33489260
You know how to program?

>>33489264
No, not at all. He just seems relatable, I like 'crazy' people that aren't like other people

>>33489267
Oh, are you a 'crazy' person?

>>33489270
My horrible mother just said so.Any mental breakdown is an inconvenience for her.

I'm done with life I can't do this.no one can help me

>>33489274
>My horrible mother just said so
I'm asking for your opinion about yourself, not others'.
>Any mental breakdown is an inconvenience for her
Most people don't have unlimited energy (That they can feel). What you're seeing is a reaction to that, they want to self-preserve. Doesn't mean you can't feel how you feel.

>>33489276
My opinion? No, I'm just broken beyond repair.
I hate my mom, she is not a mother. I was supposed to just be an accessory, not trouble.

>>33489288
>My opinion? No, I'm just broken beyond repair
No one is broken. You're not a toy or object.
>I hate my mom, she is not a mother. I was supposed to just be an accessory, not trouble
I'm sorry she's not as good a mother as she should be. Do you have a way to move away from her?

Sorry - no. I can't do this - I can't email you... honestly just makes me want to kill myself more which I will do now

>>33489305
I'm not that guy. I'm fine talking here.

Did some digging. Looks like it is him based on that. Sorry you fell those lies and manipulations m.

>>33488115
I doubt that u are who I want to communicate with but just in case, what is it I did exactly that u can’t accept an apology for?

>>33487665
Welp, after not talking to her for a whopping one whole day she decides that she's over the relationship anyway and is falling out of love with me or something. Which is honestly fine in my book and pretty much answers my questions for me. I decided to set a boundary of talking about her problems the next day and she couldn't take it. I hope it goes better for you anon. Thank you for letting me rant about this shit.

>>33488688
Haven’t you said enough?

>>33489458
What do you want from me? Honestly.

>>33489275

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbyjaUJWWmk&list=RDkbyjaUJWWmk&start_radio=1

>>33489458
I'm sorry I hurt you.

The girl I like blocked me 4 months ago. I still haven’t been able to get over her because I never got closure. I’ve been thinking of calling her from a different number but I don’t know bros. I miss her a lot.

Before I figured out the account hosted multiple identities I thought I may have found a trace of “u” in these threads so I made a final attempt of extending my heart out. I was bullied and assumed it was either u or that u were watching. My response was “good”. Combined with the cryptic messages I began seeing I just got really spooked.

>>33489676
Based on this screenshot it seems that whoever was trying to damage me in these threads knew who I was attempting to communicate with even tho I hadn’t provided any details regarding “u”. I was vague and only referenced “u” by first initial. Anons probably knew who I was as well and I don’t know how.

I don’t know if that clears anything up or not. I just don’t want to be someone who nobody will consider hiring anymore. I have a gap in my resume which could be the reason. If someone just hired me I would give my best effort and stop posting online. I want to be part of society again.

>Got scammed twice in one day
FUCK

>>33483905 (OP)
I'm officially back on estrogen. All is right with the world.

I think what I have to go with now will be good, but it does suck ass that I got fucked over in this way.

>>33489451
Oh, I’m sorry it had to end that way anon, but I’m sure you feel relief. It’s good you didn’t have to initiate the breakup and be the “villain.” If my current relationship ends I think I won’t get into another relationship again because of the feeling of being trapped. If she comes back, do not take her back.

>>33483905 (OP)
I have zero empathy for random people and dont care if the world would be destroyed, I dont care about anyone.

oh my FUCKING god dude we are not arguing about this again, please just stop, for both our sake

I was shitting at work earlier today, using the employees bathroom inside my work shop and an old man walked in on me and saw me shitting. He didn't knock or anything, and the doorknob doesn't work or lock so I had no way of preventing it from happening. It made me angry, there are three other restrooms here that are open to customers and he had to try to use the one and only employees bathroom.

Given the shit ive see this doesn't end well. Not for me, anyway

>>33489650
Just call her bro. What’s the worst that could happen?

considering spending the next hour or two deleting every msg ive sent you in our chat logs, i tell myself i want to do this to help with the humiliation i feel for having opened up to you so easily and now, for being so hung up over you while you seemingly moved on from me almost instantly after cutting me out of your life, but in reality i want to do this as some desperate last resort in hopes that you'll notice me in any way possible and the tiny slim chance you'll talk to me again, which i think might be even more humiliating and pathetic than anything else.

>>33490367
deleting messages is cringe. my bpd ex did this, i have no record of anything to hate or love her by. just let it be.

It's not a big deal in the slightest, stop screaming about it like it's a big deal every day, this is why I'm so unreasonably anxious about doing absolutely anything you dumb whore, I feel like no matter what I do to try and resolve your little problem it'll be wrong. You require answers to things that I literally cannot answer because I don't work with that company and consequently don't know their internal language, and even then, absolutely everyone else would just roll with not knowing anyway. I'm not bothered by the people we're dealing with, I'm bothered by your 0-100 explosive reactions to fuck all. "WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER I'M FILING A COMPLAINT", correction you'll make ME file the complaint that I don't even agree with, just take the money and move on you STUPID ENTITLED FUCKING WRINKLED CUNT stop drawing this out ad nauseam. You're not a special case, this shit happens constantly and everyone just deals with it. Kind of like how I have to deal with your neurotic insanity from the moment I wake up. You're bitching about something before my alarm even goes off after another poor night's sleep, as I haul myself out of bed, as I make and shovel down my bland breakfast, as I wash my face and brush my teeth, as I get changed, as I take a FUCKING PISS. You have a literal fold out chair in my room so you can rest your legs while you continue your tirades as I dart back and forth. And they continue the moment I get home from the office. I work two jobs, and you're the harder one. I legitimately prefer customer service to your raving lunacy. But hey, you can't choose family. Well, my sisters got to choose, so I guess it's me who can't choose family.

both the world as a whole and my life get worse every day

i want to kill myself so much but then my parents and brother will be sad

>>33490672
if u have family that will miss you then you have enough to live for

I grew tits in my mid 30s and I'm not ashamed of it anymore

>>33490930
His name was Robert Paulson

What is the proper pace to respond to your GF? I never had a gf before, so I wouldn't know. I like to respond a little later, to not make me look like I'm on the phone/sometimes I simply do not have my phone handy, like if I'm gaming.

>>33490672
>the world
>posts DiO
You just wanted ot make that joke didn't you?

Been over a month now
Still not over her
But I'm not crying every day anymore at least

heading towards comfy and exciting times

>>33491251
Meet her in the middle works best if you two didn't explicitly work something out. If she responds a little later so does you. If immediately then so should you.

>>33491251
If you have to ask that question she just had a fling with you and is not your girlfriend.

>grow up without money so live below my means as much as possible, drive beat up pieces of shit for years and years to save.
>early last year, buy a reasonably nice and recent used car for a relatively nice price (7.5k)
>have it for about a month before it gets stolen by some teenager because the way its designed is very easy to carjack and it's a tiktok challenge or some shit
>he totals it
>panic buy a 2005 camry for about 7k because a car is mandatory for my mediocre job. Insurance gives me about 6k for the other car
>2 months later turns out it needs a catalytic converter
>now part of the motor mount is fucked and there's some aluminum shit that needs to be welded
>engine might be totally fucked and i might need a new car
I could fucking spit blood. I swear to God. I think I got cursed for something bad I did in a previous life or some shit.

Are stands just tulpas?

>>33483905 (OP)
Just fumbled my dream girl the other day. It hit me in the middle of my workout that I just fuck everything up every time and always come off as too excited/desperate. She was so dorky and silly and easy to talk to and we liked the same books and movies and had so much in common and I just fuck up EVERY time I've literally never met someone I clicked with so well I had to leave the gym because I was so close to crying out of frustration. I don't think I'll ever meet someone like that again and I'm at the end of my rope with dating. My mom won't stop fucking botthering me about grandchildren because my sister got her fuccking tubes tied and isn't having kids so now it's all on me and It's always in the back of my fucking head and it's making me even more desperate I feel like a fucking old sweater fraying and unraveling and barely holding together it's so fucking frustrating and I don't have any more time left at this point

Life is too much. I wish I was dead.

Please, God, give me another chance to continue my story with her. I know You had more planned for us, but the wait is killing me.

>>33491251
If you want to talk to her then talk to her.

>>33491819
anon I’m not God. But why are you so stuck on her? are there not better women out there?

>>33491841
I wish I knew why at this point too. It's rare I get attached to women but usually by now I've at the very least begun to heal and accept that I have to move on. For some reason I can't do that with her. Maybe it's because of how things ended so suddenly/roughly despite us making plans for our future. Or it could be that it was my drinking that spiraled harder and caused me to hurt her first before we could actually get each other to stop.

>>33491852
sounds like you two trauma bonded… which is why you could be so stuck on her. Have you heard of limerence? how long were you two together?

>>33491868
Just about a year and a half when shit went down. We'd known each other through work for a couple years before but never really talked much until one day I decided "eh, I need friends, I'll talk to her outside of work". Next thing I know she's asking me to ride along with her on her late night solo drives. Becomes a multiple times a week thing and eventually we start going out places and things progressed from there.

>>33491879
you mentioned God in your og thread.. God will only want you with someone who brings you closer to him and that makes you want to be a better person? Is she this kind of woman?

>>33491892
Before being with her I was bitter and angry at everything all the time but being with her made me learn patience and to let go of hatred and anger. Literally all my friends noticed the change, especially the ones that don't live locally and came to visit. Not necessarily because she's spiritual or anything, just a change that happened while I was with her and that my homies had been hoping would happen for me for a while.

>>33491902
have you tried reaching out to reconnect? how was it the last time you two spoke or saw eachother?

>>33491908
We were still talking for a while after but she just kinda started shutting herself off from everything and spiraling worse until she blew up at me and blocked me on everything. That was a month ago now. Last time we really spoke spoke was a few weeks before that and I haven't seen her since May.
I know the selfish part of me wants our time to continue eventually but with how bad she'd gotten last I heard I would be happy just knowing she's getting better, with or without me.

>>33491918
from your answers seems like you don’t really miss her or want her back. You miss having someone. Try to heal and move forward to find someone more compatible with you anon :)

>>33491932
You might be right, but I still think about the specific memories we made and the future plans we had. Nothing too major but I was looking forward to it all. I guess only time will tell if our paths were meant to cross again.

I know our truth and words outside of us that attempt to push us around are meaningless.

Just empty people desperate to manipulate.

Ignore them and focus on me. On us. That's more important than anything else could ever be.

>>33488049
can i get a hint, sarge?

>>33492193
Fight!

Damn it, I'm never going to find someone who loved me the way she did.

>>33489028
You're just gay

>some frumpy looking mom pushing a cart with a very loud toddler boy in it
>does nothing to quiet him or engage him, just lets him shout
>parks her cart in the exact middle of the giant aisles somehow preventing anyone from going around her
>made the whole refrigerated veggie section develop a traffic jam because she took 5 minutes to choose strawberries with her son loudly jabbering the whole time
>some hero middle aged man tried to tell her to move her cart to the side, she IGNORED him and turned her head and kept looking at the strawberries
>we all had to exit the opposite way
I notice this so much, moms just making themselves as visible as possible because...? She has no agency and feels invisible in her life because it is all dedicated to her brainless drain of a son? We are in a free country nobody held her at gunpoint and forced her to have an ugly fucking kid. No need to take it out on us. What a miserable woman.

>>33490190
I actually did it. We only talked for 5 minutes. She accepted my apology (for what I did, the reason she blocked me). But she wasn’t excited that I called. She was polite but she seemed like she didn’t really want to talk. Mehh I just got to try to move on now I guess. GOD DAMNIT

Yeah, I'm in a death metal band
Oh cool, what's it called?
STUNG BY BEES ALL OVER

>>33495192
5 FINGER PROSTATE PUNCH