Thread 33489400

People are constantly conflating autism and ADHD as if they are "the same", or pretending "AuDHD" is extremely common.

But in real life, you constantly see that ADHD people are embraced by neurotypicals, make friends easily, and are constantly in romantic relationships. Meanwhile autistics are distrusted, disrespected, viewed as creepy, struggle to make friends or date.

Why is this? Both ADHD and autistic people claim to be "neurodivergent", but only autistics struggle socially. Why?

>>33489400 (OP)
I think I have both. I'm gonna get me a Despxyn script

>>33489408
>I think I have both
How is that even possible though?

You cannot suffer from both the need for repetition and structure that autism demands, AND the need for constant new stimulation that ADHD demands.

As an autist, I love doing long, time-consuming shit that ADHDtards would consider "boring". I read blogs, news articles and essays on current topics/debates. ADHD people would rather listen to a Youtube podcast about them, because they couldn't hold their attention on the written word for so long. Similarly, I love playing long, story-based video games which take me hundreds of hours to finish. ADHD people consider those "boring", and prefer playing low-investment multiplayer games like Fortnite or Overwatch or some shit, and they do it while listening to Twitch streams or Youtube videos in the background. Another example: I despise Tiktok and it makes me literally physically sick, whereas all ADHD people love it and get addicted.

I simply can't see how the two mental illnesses can overlap, unless you're an utter lunatic who flips constantly between having "autistic moments" and "ADHD moments".

>>33489417
>You cannot suffer from both the need for repetition and structure that autism demands, AND the need for constant new stimulation that ADHD demands.
Lol, of course you can. ASD is the most common comorbidity of ADHD. Those two are not working at the same time but take turns. Randomly.
>>33489417
>I simply can't see how the two mental illnesses can overlap, unless you're having "autistic moments" and "ADHD moments".
Bullseye! Also those are not illnesses but partially inherited neurodevelopmental disorders (illnesses can be cured, these are not, only treated)
>>33489400 (OP)
>ADHD people are embraced by neurotypicals, make friends easily, and are constantly in romantic relationships.
Yeah, because NTs like people who are indecisive, impulsive, have moodswings, forgets everything (names, birthdays, anniversaries...), lack one particular goal, cannot focus (neither what they say, nor what they hear)... [sarcasm sign]
>only autistics struggle socially
Probably because ASD more likely affects interpersonal communication channels, like eyecontact and touching.
t. late diagnosed AuDHDer

>>33489400 (OP)
Mainly because there is medication that helps with ADHD, I think.

>>33489461
>ASD is the most common comorbidity of ADHD. Those two are not working at the same time but take turns. Randomly.
I honestly feel like it's all made up.

Most online autistic communities have been overtaken by ADHD/"AuDHD" people, who constantly conflate the symptoms of the two disorders.

I see people in autistic subreddits acting like EVERYBODY who has autism also has ADHD, or acting like low-attention span is an autistic symptom... No, you just have fucking ADHD.

Pure autistic people like me are muscled out from autistic communities, so nobody even listens to what we have to say. I am diagnosed autistic since I was a child, and I'm the polar opposite of an ADHD person in pretty much every single way.

>Yeah, because NTs like people who are indecisive, impulsive, have moodswings, forgets everything (names, birthdays, anniversaries...), lack one particular goal, cannot focus
I mean, yes. Those all sound like characteristics of modern neurotypicals to me. Most of the people who relentlessly bullied me during school and university had multiple, or even all, of the symptoms you mentioned.

When I was growing up, having ADHD was the normalfag illness. Every other kid at school claimed to have it. There was literally 0 social stigma surrounding ADHD. But when kids figured out I had autism, they made me out to be some kind of leper who wasn't worthy of any respect.

>Probably because ASD more likely affects interpersonal communication channels, like eyecontact and touching.
Exactly, so how can you act like autism and ADHD are so similar?

The lack of social skills and inability to read social cues is literally the #1 most debilitating element of autism. It completely ruins people's lives and makes us unable to do anything. ADHD people don't suffer from any similar symptoms AT ALL, thus, you live significantly better lives than we do. I would kill to have been born with ADHD rather than autism, I'd have lived an excellent and happy life if that were the case.

>>33489495
That's another way in which ADHD people are privileged. They can take meds and literally be made normal again.

Meanwhile there is absolutely nothing you can do if you have autism. You are just fucked for life. No meds or drugs will ever make you be able to behave like a normal human being.

>ADHD people: LOLE *holds up spoork* ughhhhhhhhh why can’t I focus in school ):
>autistic people: *screaming and crying and sometimes physical violence*
t. Autist

>>33489519
And the horrible thing is that "AuDHD" people are trying to change the definition of autism so that it fits the former definition instead.

And then when an actual pure autist shows up, behaving actually autistic, they say "Don't blame your behavior on autism, you're just an unlikeable asshole!"

It's stunning to me how few people are calling this out. Our communities are literally being stolen from us by invaders.

>>33489502
>I honestly feel like it's all made up.
Fortunately facts don't care what you feel. Neurodivergents are divergents from each other too. (fMRI proved that NT brains works in similar patterns, ND brains were completely different form each other too)
>>33489502
>I see people in autistic subreddits acting like EVERYBODY who has autism also has ADHD
I don't give a damn about reddit echochamber, I read medical journals, and scientific papers. Opinions are not facts.
>>33489502
>Pure autistic people like me are muscled out from autistic communities
There is no such thing as "pure autism". ASD is a spectrum. Not just horizontally but vertically too. (see again the aforementioned MRI results). I know a lot of people on the spectrum. Some of them are just like NT wioth a little twist, others, are clearley wired diffrently, anothers just hard to believe to be the same species as us.
>how can you act like autism and ADHD are so similar?
The damage is similar but effects on other part of the brain. (like the same grenade works differently in a closed room than in a field, not mentioned underwater)
>>33489506
>They can take meds and literally be made normal again.
That would be fantastic, but the reality is far from it. There are very differennt medication because every case is different (see above) and medication cannot help for a very high percent. Also getting better not means being normal at all. Medication is like a white stick to the blind: makes thing a bit easier but still fucking hard

>>33489579
>Neurodivergents are divergents from each other too. (fMRI proved that NT brains works in similar patterns, ND brains were completely different form each other too)
Which is why the term "neurodivergent" is completely useless. I have absolutely nothing in common with someone with ADHD. Just because we both have mental illnesses does not give us any common ground whatsoever. ADHD people are essentially just neurotypicals to me (In fact, I remember a time not so long ago when the term "neurotypical" was commonly used to describe ALL people who are non-autistic, even if they have other mental illnesses).

>There is no such thing as "pure autism". ASD is a spectrum.
By pure autism I mean I only have autism. No other diagnoses. No other mental illnesses or disorders.

>The damage is similar but effects on other part of the brain.
No damage is as bad as the damage that autism causes. Being deprives of your social ability makes you literally unable to function as a human.

I genuinely would rather be a hardcore schizophrenic than an autistic. Schizos can make friends, romantic partners, hold down jobs, etc. As an autist I can't do anything like that because I am unable to present socially as a normal human being.

>>33489417
Easy, I have the overlapped traits, obviously, I have 3/4 of the autistic traits, and 4/4 of the afhd traits. You are likely retarded instead of autistic for not h that. Jk. But fr, must suck being autistic and low IQ simultaneously. Yikes

>>33489602
Do you have friends?

Do you have a job?

Have you ever been in a romantic relationship?

>>33489590
>Being deprives of your social ability makes you literally unable to function as a human.
ADHD fucks up social abilities too just on different field. When I talk to somebody I cannot hold eyecontact becuase it's already too much for me OR just get hyperfocused and stare like a creep. I either aware of what I say, or what I observe, but never at the same time. I lose track of my thoughts whyile talk, or when others talk. Commonly occurs that I don't even remember what I said or get told to. I fidgeting all the time (which seems like insecurity) or masking that makes me anxiety ((with all the symptoms).
It's not some kind of Eastern European "Who have bigger problems" contest, only demonstrates that how also ADHD makes hell the socializing,
>ADHD people are essentially just neurotypicals to me (In fact, I remember a time not so long ago when the term "neurotypical" was commonly used to describe ALL people who are non-autistic, even if they have other mental illnesses).
I don't know if it purposefully or not but the definitions is completely messed up in this statement, ergo I cannot take it as an argument
>By pure autism I mean I only have autism
I understand. What you need to understand there is no such thing as 'autism'. The autism to ASD is like visible light to electromagnetic waves: nothing changes only get more dese, but it causes fundamentally differences in effect. That's why called a spectrum.

>>33489626
>ADHD fucks up social abilities too just on different field.
No, not really.

Every ADHD person I have ever interacted with, whether in-person or online, has been socially and romantically successful to some degree.

I have never, ever, ever heard of an ADHD person who is totally friendless and ostracized from society like I am.

>When I talk to somebody I cannot hold eyecontact becuase it's already too much for me OR just get hyperfocused and stare like a creep.
This is the only thing you said which I relate to.

>I either aware of what I say, or what I observe, but never at the same time. I lose track of my thoughts whyile talk, or when others talk. Commonly occurs that I don't even remember what I said or get told to. I fidgeting all the time (which seems like insecurity)
This is all shit that NT normalfags do, too.

Chances are when you're experiencing these symptoms, you just look like the typical low-attention span NT who can't focus on a conversation because he's constantly zoning out and thinking about what he saw on Tiktok 10 minutes ago.

If I interacted with you IRL, I would probably assume you're just a typical smug normalfag who thinks he's too good to pay attention to my conversation.

>>33489400 (OP)
>Why is ADHD considered more socially acceptable than autism?
It's not acceptable, and that's why I have very intense anger and hatred that I keep bottled up all the time and mask with people pleasing. That's probably why I can make friends as easy as breathing as an ADHD. I don't actually consider them friends. I just say what they wanna hear and that's all. We still have a social struggle, we just know how to forget and lie to ourselves well enough to function socially.

>But in real life, you constantly see that ADHD people are embraced by neurotypicals, make friends easily, and are constantly in romantic relationships.

Yes because we are good bullshitters. ADHDs are expert liars. Lying is so easy, I often forget I am lying. When people find out what we really are beyond the people-pleasing, we are not embraced. We are hated, rejected, ridiculed, and judged harshly. Because it becomes clear that we cannot function like adults. Our lives are mismanaged, disorganized, chaotic, messy, we are always late, always forgetting shit, never paying attention to people at crucial moments, and eventually people start to despise us. We are only embraced at first. Then we are resented.

>Meanwhile autistics are distrusted, disrespected, viewed as creepy, struggle to make friends or date.
Because Autists care too much. They overthink and second guess themselves. They are apprehensive. This shows visibly on their body language and facial gestures. And it makes people feel like they are walking on thin ice or around eggshells. Ironically people end up feeling they made the autist person bored. It's ironic because that's the fear autists have when talking to people.

>but only autistics struggle socially. Why?
Autists got social blindness. They can't read between lines or read a room or do any of that implication shit that normies do. ADHDs are excellent at it. But again, we struggle too just in different ways.

>>33489400 (OP)
Wtf i thought autism meant down syndrome. Btw I have two of the autism stuff and I luck only one of the middle.

>>33489643
>That's probably why I can make friends as easy as breathing as an ADHD. I don't actually consider them friends.
Oh, boo hoo! You can make friends, but you're an asshole who doesn't appreciate them! Oh, woe is you! Such a tragic life!

>Yes because we are good bullshitters. ADHDs are expert liars. Lying is so easy, I often forget I am lying. When people find out what we really are beyond the people-pleasing, we are not embraced. We are hated, rejected, ridiculed, and judged harshly. Because it becomes clear that we cannot function like adults. Our lives are mismanaged, disorganized, chaotic, messy, we are always late, always forgetting shit, never paying attention to people at crucial moments, and eventually people start to despise us. We are only embraced at first. Then we are resented.
I would fucking KILL to live your life, you know that?

It sounds much better than being an autist who was bullied relentlessly all throughout his childhood and teenage years, failed to form any friendships with anybody, flunked university, never had even one date, and ended up a 30 year old NEET due to having no skills. I literally don't have a life.

>hey can't read between lines or read a room or do any of that implication shit that normies do. ADHDs are excellent at it.
Yes. Because you are normalfags. You live easy lives with no social struggles whatsoever.

>>33489506
>That's another way in which ADHD people are privileged. They can take meds and literally be made normal again.

Also not true. While the meds do improve my focus and ability to retain dopamine, it only improves my cognition. I still suffer from all of the emotional and psychological issues ADHD has brought me.

Impostor syndrome, rejection sensitive dysphoria, time blindness, low object permanence, impulsivity, and emotional lability, and constant neverending rumination and analysis paralysis.

>>33489632
>I have never, ever, ever heard of an ADHD person who is totally friendless and ostracized from society like I am.
I know them. See more: survivorship bias, confirmational bias.
>This is all shit that NT normalfags do, too.
I thought that too for decades, but no. NTs don't have this problem.
>If I interacted with you IRL, I would probably assume you're just a typical smug normalfag who thinks he's too good to pay attention to my conversation.
Bold to assume. I rather find connection with ASD people than normies (and the some of I found they also have signs of some level of neurodivergency). They also told me that it's visible. We just don't know because our brain wired differently from theirs

>>33489655
>Oh, boo hoo! You can make friends, but you're an asshole who doesn't appreciate them! Oh, woe is you! Such a tragic life!

You don't understand. I don't expect you to, either. Understanding how other people's PoV works isn't exactly your strong suit as an autist, no disrespect to you.

But trust me, it fucking sucks. Because the deep parts of me cares for others. But my disorder sabotages everything. And I can't do anything about it. I have to watch the people I admire or care for slowly hate me for being what I am. And all I can do is watch through the peephole of my mind. It's torture.

>I would fucking KILL to live your life, you know that?
I would kill to live yours. At least you autists have hypersensitivity. At least you can feel identifiable emotions. I never know how I feel. I sometimes can't feel anything at all.

>
It sounds much better than being an autist who was bullied relentlessly all throughout his childhood and teenage years, failed to form any friendships with anybody, flunked university, never had even one date, and ended up a 30 year old NEET due to having no skills. I literally don't have a life.

Yeah I'm sorry for that. You didn't deserve to be bullied and you have it very hard, I won't argue with you there. I am just saying ADHD isn't an easy way to live either. I've made several attempts on my own life because of it when I didn't have it under control.

>Yes. Because you are normalfags. You live easy lives with no social struggles whatsoever.
We're not normalfags at all. We are very good at running circles around normalfags, we can fool them as easy as breathing. But believe me, they hate us. At least they give autists pity. Give you special treatment and sympathy. We get nothing but contempt. We get called lazy, assholes, selfish, stupid, dysfunctional, narcissistic, you name it. And no one fucking cares. No one advocates for us like autists have advocacy. Whenever we try explain our disorder, it's called an 'excuse'.

>>33489657
>I still suffer from all of the emotional and psychological issues ADHD has brought me.
I WISH I only had emotional and psychological issues.

If you don't have social issues as well, then you are privileged. It's as simple as that.

Humans are social animals. You don't understand how impossible it is to live when you can't interact with other humans properly. And no amount of practice or education can ever fix this, because I have a literal mental disease which makes me permanently awkward and creepy.

>Impostor syndrome, rejection sensitive dysphoria,
Not ADHD-exclusive. I suffer from the latter extremely so.

>time blindness, low object permanence, impulsivity, and emotional lability
These aren't even traits of a mental illness. "Time blindness" and "impulsivity" in particular are literally just neurotypical normalfag traits. Being a flakey piece of shit who can't be bothered to turn up to events on time doesn't make you mentally ill, it just makes you an asshole who doesn't respect other human beings.

>and constant neverending rumination and analysis paralysis.
Not ADHD-exclusive. I suffer from these, probably a lot more than you do.

>>33489660
>I thought that too for decades, but no. NTs don't have this problem.
They do. We live in an age where the average normalfag is so brainrotted by Tiktok they can't focus on one thing for longer than 30 seconds. ADHD people aren't special. You live in a modern world that caters to you at every single step.

>I rather find connection with ASD people than normies (and the some of I found they also have signs of some level of neurodivergency)
Not real autistic people. Autists and ADHD people have nothing in common. A nerdy autist who enjoys lengthy, in-depth conversation is going to be extremely annoyed talking to some ADHD guy/girl who is constantly zoning out, getting bored, and changing the conversation topic every minute like a hyperactive 10 year old.

>>33489686
>These aren't even traits of a mental illness". Time blindness" and "impulsivity" in particular are literally just neurotypical normalfag traits
Somehow still _criteria_ for ADHD diagnosis.
>Not real autistic people
90% of them get diagnosed not just by one but some of them are 2 or 3 ways because you cannot be sure.
this is from where your arguments cannot be takes seriously. Also because you still don't distinguish betwee illness and disorder even if I clearly explained the difference.
You live in a bubble and anyone who wants to widen your horizon you reject with opinions and beliefs. I'm out, good luck to find peace alone, you need it.
PS: check yourself for personality disorders, and schizophrenia because you probably have them

>>33489400 (OP)
Because that's what autism is, being a clueless off putting weirdo

>>33489686
>I WISH I only had emotional and psychological issues.
Your wish is already granted. That’s exactly what autism includes. The only extra thing is your disorder is neurodevelopmental, means your nervous system is jank. Your parietal lobes of your brain is malformed. Mine as an ADHD is behavioural, my prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped, deformed.

>If you don't have social issues as well, then you are privileged. It's as simple as that.
I do. But you need to understand, anon, try to think past the limitation of your autistic mind, try to see past face-value just for a second:

Just because someone can make friends or have a relationship =/= no social issues occur. You only think of the ability to make friends or lovers. You do not consider the process of maintaining them. Adhds struggle to maintain them. That is where our social suffering is found. Not at the start of socialisation, but during, in the middle. Do you grasp that?
>You don't understand how impossible it is to live when you can't interact with other humans properly.
I understand. And like you, no amount of practice, meds, or education fixes me either. My disorder is also permanent until death. Same as yours.

>Not ADHD-exclusive. I suffer from the latter extremely so.
Maybe you do. I am willing to bet your fear is of abandonment, not rejection. Not the same thing, but equally as devastating.

>Being a flakey piece of shit who can't be bothered to turn up to events on time doesn't make you mentally ill, it just makes you an asshole who doesn't respect other human beings.

Yeah thanks for that. You prove what I posted earlier. People give autists sympathy. For adhds, we get fucking nothing. You wanna talk about privilege? then talk about that.

>Not ADHD-exclusive. I suffer from these, probably a lot more than you do.
Certainly not. I know many autists. I ask them “can you choose to think? can you switch thinking off?” all of them say yes. I cannot. Ever. My mind has never shut up.

>>33489617
>friends
Not really, no

>job
Yes, i am on lunch rn

>romantic relationship
Yes, I am very handsome with a big dick. Married to a wonderful woman who is convinced I am autistic

>>33489791
>continued

Fuck it, I’ll keep going since you got me fired up, OP. And I don’t want to waste the emotion, I rarelt get to feel those as is:

Y’know what I fucking hate about the dynamic between autists and adhds? The differences? As I mentioned earlier: Your autistic ilk get all the fucking sympathy. Always. People wipe your ass and pull their punches. Parents to autists either coddle the shit out of them, or at least leave them the fuck alone to wallow privately in self isolation.

In school, yeah, you autists are usually the meek, nerdy, shy nerdy kid. The do-gooder. The little lamb who students hate, but some of the teachers treat as a cute little pet. Your kind of ‘divergent’ usually keep their pale noses in books. Reading, reading, reading. I could barely read without mental pain.

The autist usually gets all of the best scores in testing as a result, finishes work early, homework on time, all the ‘smarts’. Called a ‘gifted’ kid. And whenever poor little autist has a tantrum or feels sad, every parent or guardian or teacher rushes to wipe his ass. “its not his fault.” “he has autism” “be patient, he has autism”, “AutismSpeaks” On and on and on. Yeah so what you dont make friends or lovers. You still at least have SOME corners of society wiping your ass for you, even given get out of jail free cards whenever you get touchy feely with a girl you ‘cold approach’ which the rest of society sees as stranger danger. One mention of ‘I-I have autism…” and you’re off the hook.

Fucking bullshit. Even at work today, autistic coworker asks for help, makes a mistake. Manager is all chirpy and cheery “aww dont worry, happens a lot. Dont worry, its okay, here this is how its done.”

I ask for help? I hear the manager muttering under his breath and quietly sighing:
“..jesus fucking christ.”

Same shit. Same story. Same as it was in school. Autist nerdy kid was coddled. When I fucked up? I get crucified.

>>33489939
What I ultimately cannot fucking stand and have always hated though is that stupid fucking victim complex that SOME autists have. Not all. But you are one of them. It’s why you knee-jerk reacted to my explanation of ADHD and instantly made it a victim game. Telling me how much harder you have it, and how you wanted to make sure you are the big sad victim. Fuck off with that shit.

>>33489939
And what did you screw up? Something you were told how to do multiple times? No wonder your manager has no patience.

>>33490018
Yes something I was told to do multiple times, that's the bane of ADHD. I have the short term memory span of a goldfish. And I also understand why this infuriates people. I do not blame them, I dislike having that limitation as much as people around me dislike having to deal with it.

But if I do not ask again, I am stuck. I cannot do the task asked of me. I will end up costing others around me even more grievance. So, if I ask again, I get shot down. If I don't, I fail my task. I get shot down. I cannot win either way. And that's fine, I stopped caring about winning at this rat-race of life, made my peace with it. It's not even the part that makes me angry.

What makes me angry now and made me furious and bitter even as a child was when I realized that my whole life I was told and taught to be considerate, love the golden rule, "do as to others as you want done to yourself." I did. I give others patience, even normies. When they fail me, I forgive. When they struggle, I try to understand. Because those two things I am desperate to be given to me. I am told to stop being forgetful. Yet every single person seems to forget I have ADHD. A disability of my mind. And the same people I gave patience and understanding, when it's their turn to pay it back to me, they instead show no mercy. They ironically forget all of the fuck ups I turned a blind eye to. All of the things they did wrong that I did not hound them for but so easily could have. That's what angers me to no end.

So when I see someone like OP whose entire claim to struggle is he is mad he didn't get to make his cock wet in a hole, it just reads to me as a bad joke.

>>33489400 (OP)
I won't read "wondering" threads about no-one in particular, on an advice board.

>>33489400 (OP)
Every person with ADHD I've ever met I was almost instantly jealous of, they have a zest for life that I've never had as an autist. I don't know how it's possible because I've never been able to fully understand how people like themselves or like life with how bullshit it all is.

>>33490175
That’s the thing, autist. Adhders are envious of autists, at least I am. I’m very jealous of autists. I don’t care about the social zest I got that you don’t. What autists have that I don’t is this almost miraculous ability to work hard, real hard, consistently, like clockwork. At things, tasks, goals, assignments, schoolwork. And the autist can do these things, even while living in sensory hell. The autist wakes up in pain, in anxiety, slogs through the day in fatigue, while masking it all. They carry all that anxious pain and they still end up performing well and knocking it out the park. I wish I had just one tiny microgram of whatever it is the fuck autists have.

Anyway yeah we know life is bullshit. We don’t like it. You think we do, we often don’t. Autists say they hate it. Yet paradoxically they keep trying to fit in, they keep lamenting not being a part of it despite hating it. I never wanted part of it. Yet like an unknowing hypocrite, I end up socialising without effort. People end up flocking around me but I wish they wouldn’t. I’d also like the autistic ability to repel people. That’d actually help my life.

>>33490273
You are jealous of them and you hate them at the same time. Sounds like a proper ADHDer, I heard you don’t like each other as well as your fellow peeps.

>>33490333
>You are jealous of them and you hate them at the same time. Sounds like a proper ADHDer.
Nah, I don’t hate them. I hate the societal shit surrounding autism and adhd. Ultimately I hate normies, painfully I hate them. And I wish I wouldn’t, I try not to, but normies I can’t help it. After all, the thingI hate about autism isn’t even really the autist’s doing. It’s normies who do it fir them. Wiping their ass so much through childhood that they actually set the autist up for failure because when school ends and the real world comes knocking, the normies leave the autist to fend on their own and then the autist wonders why women don’t get given to them for free like how mom and dad or the teacher didn’t wipe their ass for free. Normies fucked autists up lol.
In truth I love autists. That’s why I’m stuck to this thread, I enjoy autists and talking with them way more than talking to normies.

Not sure how other adhds feel about autists. But every adhd I know ends up dating one or marrying one. Even female adhds for male autists. I know one adhd girl who has a trophy husband autist who she keeps at home while she works and she loves it.

But yeah I dislike other ADHDs usually. Because its like looking at my own reflection. I hate my reflection, naturally. So I stay away from other adhds. Im pretty sure autists usually cant enjoy other autists either from what ive seen. Especially if the other autist doesnt share the same special interest. Ive seen autists verbally cannibalise each other lol begging the other to kill themselves

>>33490273
>What autists have that I don’t is this almost miraculous ability to work hard, real hard, consistently, like clockwork. At things, tasks, goals, assignments, schoolwork. And the autist can do these things, even while living in sensory hell.
The sensory part has it's limit, there's a lot of things that I really want to do but either circumstances aren't right or I'm too exhausted/out of my depth to try. I have a lot of ideas and ambition but lack the willpower and means to slog through them.
>Autists say they hate it. Yet paradoxically they keep trying to fit in, they keep lamenting not being a part of it despite hating it.
I've been suicidal this summer and pretty much the only reason I'm still alive is because I failed to die and got cold feet afterwards. I wanted to try again with hanging myself last night but my heart wasn't in it enough. I've always hated my life and I've only ever kept going out of compulsion or not having any other option. If I had a gun I would've shot myself in the skull a long time ago. I'm not trying to turn this into a pity party or oppression olympics, I'm just explaining how it's like living with my brain.
>I’d also like the autistic ability to repel people.
For most of my life I've kept my distance away from people by keeping to myself and not talking/sharing much. I'm usually used to the isolation, I never really had friends or hung out with anyone. It was mostly because I thought that everyone hated me or that I was annoying, which was fueled by being screamed at and teased growing up. My advice would be to keep as much information to yourself as possible and to avoid trying to emotionally meet people where they're at if you want to repel people. Our brains are fundamentally different so there will always be a "grass is greener on the other side" effect.

>>33490404
The autists and ADHDs I know hate each other, I can’t imagine them ending up marrying each other. How would it work? Constant triggers, different views, personalities. Not much in common to keep the spark, you know?

>>33489400 (OP)
Real as fuck. I hate that they're treated like they're super similar and hard to tell apart. Like one isn't often more manageable to live with than the other. ADHD can be treated with medication but.... where do you even begin with autism? (Not that I know much about ASD treatment to be honest)
This dumb mix up isn't doing people favors at all. Because of all this grouping, younger me had thought I may have been autistic (clearly I was not, just a case of adhd I can manage well without meds). These are two disorders that while can be comorbid sometimes, are very different in how they work.

>>33490447
And adhd doesn't really affect my social skills with others for the most part. Atleast I hope not but that's probably just me being a reserved ugly nerd with low self esteem. The whole point of autism from my perspective, seems that it specifically hinders socializing. Adhd hinders executive dysfunction and attention. Both are neurodivergent disorders that affect people differently I think

>>33490438
Opposites attract for one thing. And for another, there isn’t much in common you are right. But for the tiny amount they have in common, it’s those tiny things that matter a lot.

Namely the mutual understanding of knowing what it is like to feel like a leper. To know what it’s like to watch everyone else around you thrive in particular parts of life, while you have to watch yourself rot. To ask for help or understanding only to be spit on for the crime of existing. To live in a world built for a majority, yet barely surviving on its fringes as a fucked-up mentally ill minority. To feel like the world is this big ball of people, and yet no matter what you do, you are condemned to be exiled and exist outside of it, like an orbiting loner who just can’t fit in.

Adhds and autists both experience this since birth. The relationships are ideal because they’re not exactly the same as the other, so it feels like authentically pairing with a different individual, someone different to you. But you’re not entirely different either that you can’t see eye to eye.

Not too same-y. Not too different. Just something in the middle. Something new and different.

>>33490477
I honestly don’t believe that you as ADHDer would deliberately date an autist. Triggering each other on a daily basis is not a good foundation for relationship. Maybe you would enjoy autistic level of organisation but your chaotic lifestyle would turn autist’s life into misery.

>>33490447
>ADHD can be treated with medication but.... where do you even begin with autism?

Im adhd as well. Believe it or not, Autists can improve to further lengths than us. Don’t buy into the autistic claim that they can’t. That’s part of the autistic’s [Catastrophic Thinking] complex. They always think and believe in the most worst-case scenario.

Reality is, autists can manage by simply using anti-anxiety supplements or medications. Legal or illegal, doesn’t matter. Just a substance that tells the nervous system to stop receiving stimuli at 200% volume, basically. This curbstomps autism.

But the autist will still be highly unsocialised, still awkward and naive or clueless or ‘weird’. This is because they didn’t have time to properly integrate or internalise social cues or social learning curves that you and I learned as children. So the autist feels like a child inside an adult’s body.

Luckily for them, this can be reversed. Because it is only a side-effect of autism, not actually the core of autism. Just a case of emotional arrested development that is learned and later no longer an issue. Psychotherapy speeds up the growth.

So in the end, a ‘cured’ autist is just a guy who has headaches and anxiety after being around loud or overwhelming environments and has to pop a few meds or have a smoke or a drink to take the edge off. Autists get to look forward to a day where they get to unlearn the hardest parts of their disorder.

Adhds cant do that. We’re stuck being retarded forever son. We’re so brain-scattered we’d forget to turn up at our own funerals when we die.

>>33490510
>I honestly don’t believe that you as ADHDer would deliberately date an autist. Triggering each other on a daily basis is not a good foundation for relationship.

Married one, anon. I’m way ahead of ya

>Maybe you would enjoy autistic level of organisation but your chaotic lifestyle would turn autist’s life into misery.

I hate organisation. Autistic organisation is my trigger. I envy it, but I hate it. You said it yourself, I’m a true adhdr lol. I hate routine, I hate schedules, I hate deadlines, I hate predictability, I hate it when each day feels like the same day over and over. Makes me wanna put a bullet in my skull. My autistic wife craves that to feel safe and in control. I feel best in chaos, and chaos makes her nervous and irritated.

Yet it works. Because it forces us both to meet in the middle, we wound up helping each other grow and improve as people. Some people call it ‘triggers’. Its called pushing comfort zones. Exposing yourself to shit you dont like until eventually you adapt, and grow as a result. Had it not been for my autist wife, I’d have remained a deadbeat loser. I owe her my life honestly.

>>33490438
Now imagine that in one person. This is AuDHD. Constant stuggle against yourself. Then have enough energy to mask both, because none of them are accepted.

>>33490579
AuDHD is too trippy for me to think about and that baffles me because I am usually able to think of anything as an adhd. You would think having both Autism and ADHD would cancel each other out and you wind up as a normie. But God's sense of humor is you end up with neither strength of each disorder, just all of the deficits rolled into one. Fucking brutal.

There's some people with the quadruple whammy though, poor bastards whose genetics decided to select for all 4 of the comorbid disorder that can come with autism. I knew one guy like that, he had autism. But he also got ADHD. And then developed OCD, and when life didn't fuck him enough, it threw in Bipolar type 2 to finish it off. IIRC all four of those disorders share the same gene activation.

>>33490548
Wow, that’s wild man and I didn’t see that coming lol. How did you meet and get along? How does the marriage look like from your and her perspective? Do you have kids with the same retard disorders?

>>33490792
Met online, got along good enough, got along even better when she stopped masking, marriage has been funny and sweet. Marriage from my perspective looks like two retards being cozy and retarded together, we both unashamedly act as weird and strange as we want to be around each other. From her perspective I imagine it’s a lot of stress. But she seems to thrive in stress, she’s addicted to it. She loves feeling anxiety, though she can’t seem to admit it. Every time she has a problem, or a big ‘what if’ monster (aka a mental worry that she catastrophizes aka ‘its so over bros’ moment). She eventually solves it or we move past it, and then she gets relief (we’re so back bros!) and then her mind immediately finds a new worry, a new problem, a new stressor. On and on. And because I love new shit, I enjoy helping her slay her problems, it gives me dopamine. She gets constant relief, I get constant dopamine. Our disorders feast off each other and we are content.

>Do you have kids with the same retard disorders?
Not yet. She hopes for a adhd kid. She thinks autism is too cruel of a life. I want an autistic kid, I would end up locking horns and butting heads with my own kid often if he/she had adhd.

Kid aint born yet, she’s pregnant tho. I think its gonna be a normie kid though probably. Because imo i genuinely believe autism and adhd is epigenetic. Means as long as the kid is raised right, it wont manifest. I subscribe to personal theory that some other fringe psychiatrists theorize also: that adhd and autism is mostly down to parental role modelling. Adhds usually end up adhd as fuck due to little guidance from father. Autists end up autist due to little nurturing from momma. Theres even a strong correlation between autists and nit being breastfed enough as babies.

So im gonna teach and mentor and father figure the shit out of that kid. Wife is gonna nurture and nurture some more. I think kids gonna be alright.

>>33490995
> But she seems to thrive in stress, she’s addicted to it. She loves feeling anxiety, though she can’t seem to admit it.
As a fellow autist: no, she doesn’t love it. Her brain is programmed to feel anxiety and she probably can’t stop no matter how hard she tries. It’s either that or constant distraction with work or daydreaming or anything she finds helpful. In her mind the world is nothing but anxiety so never assume she loves it because it’s ruining her mood and life every single day. You don’t believe me? Ask her what she was diagnosed with before ASD.

>>33491039
I already know she was diagnosed with GAD, Depression and shrinks noted perfectionism, low-self esteem, and melancholy and depression before they hit on the ASD diagnosis.

I believe you, she doesn’t love it. I was being facetious before somewhat. I am aware she doesn’t enjoy her constant anxiety. It’s anxiety. No one likes anxiety. And for autists, they have super-anxiety, 200% volume anxiety non-stop that’s triggered just from existing.

What I meant is that she has a tendency for pessimism as a default. On days where she feels okay, and its a good day, and everything is lovely, and she even admits she has had a good day, within 10 minutes of saying that, she will instantly forget she was optimistic, and when a new worry happens, “its so over!”. Thats what i meant by ‘she’s addicted to it’. She always chooses to listen to anxiety. She doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of allowing herself to feel anxiety, but not allowing anxiety to determine her perspective on life or future possibilities. She always chooses pessimism, every single time lol.

Even when she is proven wrong again, and again, and again, and again, when she fears the worst outcome, yet the outcome was good, she still doesn’t budge. Its incredibly mind blowing

>>33489400 (OP)
ADHD allows me to throw myself fully at my tasks, no point in suppressing it, that's how I was made and I'm using it to the fullest potential. I am rather active and need movement most of the time which is why I am a gym frequent and not getting tired of it anytime soon. As long as you realize the good out of your "suffering" then there's only advantage.
Thanks for reading my blogpost

>>33489400 (OP)
ADHD is an over diagnosed meme disease big pharma uses to legally sell amphetamines

>>33493580
>yeah adhd is non existent beacuse I don't have it
lol. maybe you'd know something about it if you couldn't study for shit unless you'd only have 24 hours left and do it like a maniac, but I suppose it doesn't exist and it's a made up psyop by jews

>>33493963
nta but I do have adhd. The anon aint wrong, it is over diagnosed and there is a distinct incentive to make money from negligent parents who are overwhelmed by their children having natural high amounts of energy to just drug them up instead. Makes money for pharma, and the dumbass parents get to relax. Meanwhile some poor kid who was just being a kid gets their brain chemistry scrambled for no reason.

Honestly parents who medicate their kids on a whim, especially with mind altering substances should have their kids taken from them. Imo ADHD meds should only be given to people over age of 25. thats when the brain stops developing

>>33494099
yep, true

>>33489400 (OP)
ADHD are mostly dumb

>>33493580
>>33493963
>>33494099
Death to america