Thread 33503392

>be me, almost 30
>since 11, basically living in isolation
>endless internet scrolling, video games, porn, drugs, booze
>once OD'd shooting up heroin while drunk, almost died
>ICU for 3 days, rescued last minute
>suicide thoughts nonstop, self-hate and self-harm daily
>nightmares, breakdowns, can't sleep at night, zombie during the day
>never learned any skills
>been seeing therapists for years
>diagnosed with depression, panic disorder, social anxiety, ADHD, schizoid, bpd, autism, c-ptsd
>on psych meds most of life
>alcoholic dad neglected and abused me
>childhood friends bullied and beat me
>bullied by classmates, teachers humiliated me
>skipped school, barely finished with shit grades
>junk food addict, never exercised
>skinny-fat, gynecomastia, puffy nipples, feminine body shape
>acne face, arms and legs covered in self-harm scars
>never slept well, hygiene and cleaning a joke
>never learned to drive, never socialized
>panic attacks around people, avoid eye contact and touch
>no friends, no girlfriend, no romance
>never been kissed, hugged, touched, or had sex
>no studies, no job, no car, no money, no place of my own
>still live with parents
>literally just rotting
>starting to realize I wasted my entire life
>regret hits like a freight train

Any advice?

start now

>>33503392 (OP)
Sounds like you drew the short straw in life.
I have no real answers for you.
Just know your capacity for good ends when you do. I hope things get better for you.

>>33503392 (OP)
I won't read yet another calendar of doom be me green tsunami of text autobiography. Post a succinct request for advice next time.

Talk to someone about stopping depression meds. That stuff just fogs you up. Your life sucks, you gotta crawl your way out or just keep rotting. Start with going someplace regularly and be friendly. Library, restaurant, coffee place, church, ect.

>>33503392 (OP)
You can start by starting one small thing. Today brush your teeth twice. Thats it, complete that and set another small goal. Then another.

>>33503392 (OP)
Stop eating goyslop and taking psych meds. You are frying your brain.

I love you anon, you deserve love

>>33508598
Thank you anon.

>>33504766
Thanks anon. I actually stopped taking SSRIs a few months ago and it's made a difference, they'd been numbing me out to the point I couldn't even laugh or cry anymore. For the past month I've been going to the gym three days a week and switching to a high-protein moderate-calorie diet. I haven't noticed much progress yet, but I figure it's still early. I haven't made any friends there yet because I'm still nervous about talking to people but I'm hoping that going regularly will help me get past that.

>>33505182
>You can start by starting one small thing. Today brush your teeth twice. Thats it, complete that and set another small goal. Then another.
NTA, but what kind of deranged advice is this? I brush my teeth twice today; tomorrow I feel even more depressed and lethargic and I can't manage to brush them at all. Then what? How has that helped the situation?

>>33510065
>Then what? How has that helped the situation?
Because you did something good and if you keep doing it you'll see the results and feel better? You do want to get better right? Starting off small and setting multiple goals is a good way to start that journey.
Here's another task you can do for today, get that self pitydick out of your mouth because the truth is that nobody cares about how sad you are in this world, happiness isn't given to those who don't work for it.
It sucks but thats the way it is, you have to work for it even if you feel like shit. I've been in the exact same spot but of you come at it with a negative attitude without even trying then you deserve it honestly

>>33503392 (OP)
Anon, I'm around the same age as you. My advice is to start small. For instance, I managed to lose 12 kg a year ago, after countless failed attempts, because instead of doing drastic changes in my lifestyle, almost every day I kept introducing small improvements to my diet and physical activity. Small things like using stairs instead of elevators or swapping beer for red wine. Small steps, one at a time, is the way to go. Apply that thinking to health, as well as other things in your life.

And on a related note, don't compare yourself to others, because that's not only kind of illogical — we all grew up in sometimes very different circumstances — but moreover, that's not the way to build healthy self-esteem. Compare yourself to your self from the day before. The book Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden is a nice read on how to learn to love yourself in a non-faggy, non-narcissistic way.

I wish you all well.

>>33503392 (OP)
There is no advice and people like you and I are born for nothing. Life is an uncaring darwinist prison yard knife fight. As someone in a nearly identical situation as you but who might have a few years of seniority, my only advice is this: Never let yourself have any hope. The pain from when you will inevitably fail is not worth it.

>>33503392 (OP)
Suicide is always an option

>>33503392 (OP)
Whew bro.

>>33503392 (OP)
Start by getting off drugs, including legal ones, some of those you need to taper off SLOWLY with hyperbolic tapering or you risk brain damage.

>>33510539
>Never let yourself have any hope. The pain from when you will inevitably fail is not worth it.
Isn't that kind of mentality what keeps you stuck?

>>33514577
Normies have a naive belief in free will. If a dysgenic loser has been conditioned and beaten into a hole, that is where they will stay forever. The best thing that can be done for oneself is suicide. Once it gets too late, all attempts at improvement are made in incompetence. And also, people need a reason to actually try and live that isn't "maybe, it might get good one day if you do."

>>33513181
>hyperbolic tapering

What is this?

>>33503392 (OP)
>shooting heroin while drunk
Holy shit, you are so fucking lucky to have survived this. Opiates and alcohol are never okay to mix. You need to realize how much of a gift your life is and start taking charge of it to live to the fullest. Get outdoors a lot

>>33510334
>You do want to get better right?
If you wanted to feel better, you would've done something by now