Thread 33504821

I come straight home, and sit alone, in my room. I've been doing this for years. I have no one and nothing. Years and years of parental abuse and bullying ruined me, and once I was an adult I was too broken to attempt a normal life. I'm 40 years old. I don't want to live like this anymore but I don't know what to do. I want love, I want to feel what it's like to have someone who cares for you, but even the idea of trying to approach other people paralyzes me and makes me feel like I can't breathe. I was able to stave off these thoughts and feelings for a long time with endless media consumption but the emptiness of my life has finally caught up with me. I'm going to die alone and miserable in this apartment without anyone understanding what happened to me or why I lived my life the way I did.

well, it's a good thing you've got a clear picture of the problem
since you're the only one who can do anything about it

>>33504821 (OP)
The world is not going to come knocking at your door. As hard as it will be, you have to make yourself go out to meet it.

>>33504821 (OP)
I don't even get to leave my delivery truck, it's where I sleep.

>>33504974
Grim

>>33504821 (OP)
What help have you sought?

>>33504974
I thought I was the only one. Hello. >>33504974
>>33504974

>>33504821 (OP)
I'm similar to this but I'm 32.

The love thing eats away at me pretty badly. I was in love once. Don't know of it will ever happen again.

Tried joining the military just to drastically snap myself out of it but I got declined due to previous mental health stuff.

Do you at least own where you live etc?

>>33504821 (OP)
Make a dating profile and work with people that help you with this kind of thing. If you start going on dates it will vastly improve your life, trust me. Look up Casey Zander's group, there are other as well but you need a community to give you feedback so you can date successfully.