Thread 33508118

i think my life ended before it even started. you are telling me after being molested, raped, assaulted, groomed--all multiple instances throughout growing up--i now have to live with all that??
idk what to do. i am clinically mentally ill, i hate society, i hate capitalism, i want the human race to be wiped.
im too young to be so sad, life only gets worse. i feel lonely and disgusting and stuck with myself forever until i eventually kill myself at 30 (very high chance) or sooner (even higher chance).
what do i do?? where do i find love? where do i find someone who wants anything genuine? men on dating apps just want sex, i want real connection and they dont even reply to me after i suggest that intention DESPITE it being on my literal profile... i hate being on this planet with you fucks (humans).
being a NEET gamer fucking blows shit cus who TF wants that in the real world????? guys online sure, but IRL you need to be a career girl or in college to be considered normal or dateable. i need advice, or at the least can you guys tell me to kill myself or something FFS i will do anything. except get a job, im not submitting myself to working society FUCK OFF.

>>33508118 (OP)
Not an answer but
>be me
>male
>tell someone i want a girlfriend
>they go "just stroke your dick bro, stop looking for sex"
>though i have nothing against other people doing it i am personally grossed out by the idea of me having casual sex
>see why this stereotype exists, its because the vast majority of men like casual sex, though its not necessarily a bad thing i just cant see it being my thing

>don't want to be a NEET
>don't want to work either
You gotta choose one. Or kill yourself, I suppose. Since that's already on the table.

>>33508118 (OP)
>dating apps
anyone worth your time won't be on there because women either don't match sensible guys at all or are the exact same way and just want to meet n fuck. it's cancer for anybody that's an introvert, man or woman.

>>33508149
on the other side, i tell someone i want a boyfriend and they probably think "wow this girl is soft, let me tell her exactly what she wants to hear so i can take her on a 'date' with the only intention of getting sex out of her" but these men make it painfully obvious they dont care to actually get to know me so its all just DESPAIR and ropefuel DESU
meanwhile my bestfriend is always talking about getting dick and meeting with attractive men KMS

>>33508118 (OP)
Dating apps are shit, only top % sex haver men go there and they are not loyal. This is a societal issue I don't have a good solution to.

>i think my life ended before it even started. you are telling me after being molested, raped, assaulted, groomed--all multiple instances throughout growing up--i now have to live with all that??
Not sure if it's just taboo or my personal opinion but most men LOVE the idea of picking up a broken flower and taking good care of it, saving her, and abuse doesn't make her less attractive in any way. (ultra taboo: men like abusing women to some degree so a woman with past abuse is a good candidate. However most men will never go that far. Counter: certain enabling personality traits could increase risk of abuse)

The issue is not with having been abused, but the practical baggage that comes with it like emotional vomit. Men are emotionally weaker in a way, if a woman feels like too much trouble, he won't tolerate her. A man would like to be relied on and help soothe a woman and make her feel safe, but he also doesn't want to be overly inconvenienced all the time. Though as far as I understand, women want exactly that, the ability to emotionally vomit at any time.

This is why men have prejudice on women displaying traits of past abuse and avoid them, and then you are left with bunch of degenerates who only like you because of how broken you are.

To get a good man, you have to make a good first impression that you are not a difficult woman like that, and offer things to counterbalance things, like taking care of things at home, tradwife stuff. And for emotional stuff, show that you are doing your part dealing with it and not dumping it all on him all the time (sometimes is ok). Being a NEET gamer doomscrolling addict is also a common society-wide issue that I'd imagine makes everything more difficult. Nobody wants to be just a caretaker for a degen. If you can get better in that, you'll beat the market.

>>33508118 (OP)
My wife has never worked a day in her life and I take care of her, shower with love and affection, I treat her often, and I give her everything I have to give. You just need to embrace trad morals and roles in order to obtain this.

>>33508118 (OP)
List all the weird crazy shit you do or think about as a result and learn to stop doing those while accepting the past happened

>>33508118 (OP)
I don't know if it'll work but for myself I have decided to just to the things I want to do, the things that REALLY matter to me, and maybe I'll meet my people on the way. If I have one piece of advice is to make peace with your loneliness now. You are the only permanent thing in your life, you have to be able to live with yourself or you won't be able to actually live.

>>33508118 (OP)
what are you diagnosed with as far as mental diseases?