Thread 33517504

I helped a lot of people out throughout my life. When I was in school I used to help many others with their exams and assignments. When i became a wagecuck in big tech, i guided many of my juniors who I didnt even know with interview guidance, resume help and even lended money to few of my old friends.

As I grew older and more cynical somehow I have this sinking feeling that the universe should have rewarded me with a good life, wife and kids but that never happened. I feel like a bad immoral person now

You'd had to go looking for what you want instead of expecting a reward for being nice.

Why were you so helpful? What made you do that? Did you enjoy being helpful?

You don't have to let the fact that you haven't gotten anything out of helping others turn you into an asshole. If you consider it a mistake then just learn from it

>>33517504 (OP)
Helping people is a good in and of itself. You don't get rewarded for it. You do it because it is the right thing to do

>>33517504 (OP)

You're a good man, Charlie Brown!

>>33517504 (OP)
No good deed goes unpunished. I was the same, always helped others, always did the „right“ and moral thing. But I kept getting punished for it in numerous ways and nearly every aspect of my life. I‘m not proud, but I‘ve become a real immoral debauched piece of shit, and yet my life has never been better.

>>33517504 (OP)
I feel similar but not quite, I don't wish for a reward but somehow feel empty when I see people unworthy of helping, it leaves a void in me. I need to be helpful to someone but they don't deserve it

this is why many religions talk about heaven. they want people to do good things, but on earth there is no etiological relationship between doing good things and having good things happen in return. so they say that you get the reward after your time on earth.

>>33517504 (OP)
>I have this sinking feeling that the universe should have rewarded me
The world is not fair. Deal with it.
Help if you feel good by helping but never ever expect anything good in back. Most likely it will be nothing or even straight up bad.

>>33517504 (OP)
>I feel like a bad immoral person now
The feeling is real. But it's turned inside out. Your feeling is correct, however it's got the equation backwards. It's right for the wrong reasons.

You aren't bad or immoral to others. But you are bad and immoral to yourself. That sinking feeling that the Universe owes you for all the good shit you did, that's true too. Again, for the wrong reasons. You were owed, yeah. But you did nothing to repay yourself. You think life owes you, yet failed to understand that (you) ARE life experiencing itself. It was (you) who heard the cries of your own soul and neglected to attend to them.

Don't panic. Don't shit the bed and condemn yourself for that. What you are supposed to do is forgive yourself for this. Continue with the good deeds, but be sure to reward yourself for them. You cannot help people quench their thirst or satiate their hunger if you yourself are dehydrated and starving. You already know you got the fruits of good will and care in you which you keep throwing at others. Ask yourself next time "why can't I give some to myself?"
I don't mean to and 'love yourself' because that shit is an empty platitude. Forcing yourself to feel shit you don't feel never works. What works is actions, doing things for yourself you know gives you peace. So do them.

>>33519015
>so they say that you get the reward after your time on earth

Not necessarily true. After all, look at the story of Jesus. What did He get for His life of healing and serving others? Put to death. He even plucked up the willingness to love and die for the people who tortured Him. What did he get for that? God ignored His cries and then He went to Hell. I'm not kidding, lots of people seem to miss that part of the story. But go read the story again, it's there. Yes in the end He resurrected and then went to Heaven. But not before total and complete abandonment and then being sent to Hell first. In case you are wondering the moral of the story was in order for rebirth to occur, the old life must be destroyed entirely first.

>>33519061
Jesus didn't get sent to Hell, the term for where Jesus goes after He died on the cross is 'the land of the dead' or something, but it is not one of the many Greek words used to mean Hell. He experienced death but not Hell

>>33519066
https://taylormarshall.com/2012/04/8-bible-verses-on-christs-descent-into.html

Still Hell apparently, just one of four stages of Hell. Still a descent regardless anon. We can nitpick the exactitude of translation if we want but point is even Christ didn't get the big goody reward even after suffering and giving. Means we shouldn't expect that either.

>>33519050
good post

>>33517504 (OP)
You are a good man, anon. Sadly, helping others was more useful in tight societies. Even if you didn't get "directly rewarded" your change was significant and allowed other to help as well and you would be part of a better society. As things are now, the modern world have no close communities and any help you give will not come back in any way. Keep doing good if you can, but make yourself a priority because it's every man for himself now

>>33519998
>the modern world have no close communities
yeah, this could be it. Good point

>>33517504 (OP)
I won't read yet another dickhead regretting that he helped people when he was younger. It means OP viewed each act of kindness as crassly transactional. Idiot doesn't understand that those acts are making your universe a better place. It's not a checking account that gets depleted.