>>33518355 (OP)
This will come across as somewhat unoriginal, but talk to someone about it. If you can't afford a therapist (or can't find a good one) talk to ChatGPT. You need to ask yourself a handful of questions, such as "what need would a companion fulfill that I can't fulfill myself" and "where does this need stem from" etc. You will gradually find what it is that makes you gravitate towards a life with a partner and then you can evaluate if this pull can be redirected or not.
I don't want to give you ideas, since this line of questioning often suffer greatly when people have some pre-conceived idea or anticipation in mind... but in my case it was partially the fact that I define "success" by what my father has achieved and he has achieved ... well... being a father. So I automatically feel the need to replicate this aspect of his successful life. I decided not to redefine success, but after realizing that's where the issue is, I do have the proper tool to do this in case it will be necessary.
