so I'm at a loss as to kind of where to go from here, over the course of the past month my already shaky mental health has mostly gone away from a series of events
started with a bar night a friend drug me to where the result was he got laid from an attractive lady and I got borderline assualted
by what i could define as a cave woman and got to pay for my own uber ride to the hotel at the end of the night
then find out the woman I like only likes me as a friend so I have to get rid of all emotions towards her (old hat at this point from the amount of times that happened)so taught myself to hate her which probably isn't healthy
same friend from bar night then basically starts ignoring me as he starts dating some other woman so i end up spending a lot of time sitting at home
create dating profiles on every site to receive zero likes or matches or interest which leads me to realize that apparently the only one who finds me appealing is the crazy cave lady from earlier
my health is getting kind of concerning too as I've been getting super light headed standing up and did nearly pass out from that once on top of myself noticing aging with more gray hair and that my glasses prescription appears to need another update with worsening eyes
I've mostly spent the last few weeks with varying moods swinging between extreme self hatred, hatred of others, delusions of stupid crap that could work but won't, some paranoia, happiness briefly every so often depending on the activity and a mixture of trying to retreat from everyone and forcing myself to go out to be around people.
I am aware enough to know this is not healthy by any regard but I have no idea what to do, any ideas?
started with a bar night a friend drug me to where the result was he got laid from an attractive lady and I got borderline assualted
by what i could define as a cave woman and got to pay for my own uber ride to the hotel at the end of the night
then find out the woman I like only likes me as a friend so I have to get rid of all emotions towards her (old hat at this point from the amount of times that happened)so taught myself to hate her which probably isn't healthy
same friend from bar night then basically starts ignoring me as he starts dating some other woman so i end up spending a lot of time sitting at home
create dating profiles on every site to receive zero likes or matches or interest which leads me to realize that apparently the only one who finds me appealing is the crazy cave lady from earlier
my health is getting kind of concerning too as I've been getting super light headed standing up and did nearly pass out from that once on top of myself noticing aging with more gray hair and that my glasses prescription appears to need another update with worsening eyes
I've mostly spent the last few weeks with varying moods swinging between extreme self hatred, hatred of others, delusions of stupid crap that could work but won't, some paranoia, happiness briefly every so often depending on the activity and a mixture of trying to retreat from everyone and forcing myself to go out to be around people.
I am aware enough to know this is not healthy by any regard but I have no idea what to do, any ideas?
