Thread 33526062

I just found out I'm an avoidant attachment type and it explains much of my trouble creating deep emotional relationships with others. Any anons in a similar boat? How do I heal? People talk about doing attachment work and I don't know what that means.

Is this just a bunch of therapy gobeldygook?

>>33526062 (OP)
>How do I heal?
Learning how to communicate your needs for space without feeling guilt. Understanding that it’s okay to be yourself.

>>33526083
What if I don't feel much guilt enjoying my space. My problem is I have too much space from other people. I forgo creating deep relationships and keep my freedom.

>>33526062 (OP)
I struggle with fearful avoidant myself. A recommendation for you are there are unironically some really good youtubers as well as podcasts out there who give advice on how to deal with these attachments.
One part is figuring out where your avoidant attachment stemmed from - you have to know the cause in order to fix it. Remember that most of the time, these attachments are created due to traumas in childhood. Also, a big part of it all is having to let people in and not getting afraid/overwhelmed by their closeness to you. Another is it is likely everyone in this life will hurt you in some capacity, even if they don't intend to. That's one I'm struggling with still myself.
>>33526231
There is nothing wrong with enjoying solitude, however, unfortunately, the price is that you will have to limit your freedom in some respect. The tradeoff instead is having people who know the real you instead of a distant shadow, and may care or love you deeply. Ideally, you will be able to retain a healthy amount of freedom while still maintaining these connections. It's not going to be fixed over night. It may take years, and you can relapse back into the habits. You are essentially having to change how you've been protecting yourself from harm, whether real or unreal.