Ever since I was a kid, I've dreamed about being a creative and making something. I've written for nearly 12 years and done roleplays but I've never been able to come up with an original story of my own. I've never come up with anything good, nor have I ever completed a multichapter story in my entire life.

I want to draw, write, create something or do anything but I can never make myself do it beyond just vegetating in my room and doing nothing. My ADHD keeps me from performing even the most basic shit or putting effort into anything.

I want to off myself in the next two years if I can't make anything substantial or learn any new skills.

I want to make games, create art, draw, write, do fucking anything. And I can't make myself do any of it. Last thing I tried was making maps in Hammer, but that's it and I haven't went back to it in months.

Before anyone says to get medicated, I've been on adderall for my entire life. Nothing has helped me.