Thread 33528093

Am I wrong here?
>be me, industrial mechanic
>wife, nurse
>live in high end condo
>wife asks me to wear nice clothes to and from my work truck instead of grubby work clothes
>because her co-workers (some of whom live in same condo complex) might see me and talk shit/give her a hard time
>I refuse, pretty damn insulted
>she's mad because I won't do her a favor

>>33528093 (OP)
>Am I wrong here?
Yes, because you judge (sin that cause suffer in real life)
>>be me,
not do able. Tell what you feel and need, because all humans have same feelings and needs like a face expressions, understand able by every one.

So as your wife. Honey are you need to some esthetic appearance in public, that would be more socially acceptable...? You just guessing and you will know only by her confirmation or correction.
When you specify her needs and empathize with her feelings based on her needs, Then you ask her, if she would be willing to hear what is going on in you. I don't know, but I guess, that you have a need for autonomy, self determination, ... because that old jizz stain on your pens and catchup from McDonald reminds you happy moments of your life...?

Look, the truth is, that even, if you are alone in the woods and there is no women around, you are still wrong. Because biologically, men has no other purpose to exist, then protect and provide for a women, so that she could have a baby.

Do not stop making love outside of your marriage bed. (In general less fucking is better) Take care of your girls needs in real practical daily life. In order to have lust to do that, stop ejaculating like there is no tomorrow. 'la petite mort' has a limits less is more and longer relationship. Fucking is always bad (jew word sex) and lead to end of relationship. Got it?

>>33528233
shut up slut

>>33528093 (OP)
There are few cases. 1, she wants to feeling appreciated. She maybe think she married down and want compensation for that. 2, she wants to show to the other girls her husband is better then theirs, probably because they are better in some imprortant factor than her. Again, compensation. 3, she get hit on at work (like most of the nurses) but she tries to refuse and wants to find novelty in you instead of other man, or just wants to see if you are still the man she loved to marry.

>>33528093 (OP)
She is wrong in not being proud of a hard-working man in an honorable profession.

You are wrong in not meeting her part-way, likr starting the day in not-quite-so-grubby work clothes

>>33528233
Wut
>>33528260
I guess? But I've always been an industrial mechanic. Well paid but comes home dirty. This was nothing new to her.
Doesn't want me to be seen in public in work clothes, doesn't want me to be seen in my work truck by her friends either.

>>33528260
>1, 2 ...she wants
Only she know what she need, no one else does and 'wants' is made up strategy in attempt to satisfy human need
>3, she get hit on at work ...
Keep your brain fart, fantasy away and ask: what happen?

If you could post in your language that might help

>ask /adv/ for advice
What did I expect lol

>>33528332
>But I've always been an industrial mechanic.
bad excuse
>Well paid but
irrelevant
> comes home dirty.
Why don't you change close after work before go home? That would solve the problem.
>This was nothing new to her.
Obviously it bathers her for a long time, but you do not pay attention. Don't get upset when some one else will do.
>doesn't want me to be seen in my work truck
again, you guessing, instead of asking.
Only she knows what she wants, not you. is that clear?

dude you screwing up

So what is your truck for? garbage or ... ?

You ask for advice, you dumb cunt and don't want any advice...

Well, Every women need 5 animals in her life:
Jaguar in garage
Tiger in bed
Mink on her neck
Bear under feet
and that 5th animal mostly important one, is a donkey who pay for all that shit.

If your argument in relationship is money, then you are a donkey.

Get a whore you dumb cunt. Most expensive women fuck you for free.

>>33528335
wants (here): basic need from anything from her past. Most likely childhood trauma that with she tries to cope with other subconscios behavior. see more: maladaptive schemas, trauma response, trauma bonding.
Remember: 2/3rd of the entire human population have maladaptive attachment style due their traumas.

>>33528332
>This was nothing new to her.
Exactly. You did not improved and she got tired/bored of it. Most women are like cats: want a belly rub but if too long/much/same they leave. Your wife seems like to trying to solve this inside the house and I respect her for this.
But these are just general patterns.
Talk to her with patience like a child form school. Appreciate, ask, and don't judge. "They give at hard time" - "Must be hard if you ask me for that. What they do with you exactly?" And the joker question: "What do you want to achieve from this?" again and again, still showing that you want to understand her. After 3-5 round she will reach some primal level like "I was always a bullied girl in elementary and don't want to feel outcast anymore" Be prepared for any dark shit, even tears. Then don't jusdge just hug her, because that what all human being needs at most.

>>33528093 (OP)
What a fucking diva

>>33528388
You missing rationality and lacking logic'

Life is going on process of chasing and fulfilling needs in order to live. Feelings signals to you how you serving life .

We all have exactly same human needs and share same feelings, just not at the same time.
Got it?

Emotions are created by our thinking activities or brain farts.

We want something (eat) in attempt to satisfy our need (for food) because we feel (hungry) OK?

Only she knows what exactly it is, but for the sake of argument I will guess.

She whats you to change clothes (strategy) , because she need social acceptance, coherence in society, because she feel unsatisfied by your appearance in public. OK?

>subconscious behavior. see more: maladaptive schemas, trauma response, trauma bonding
You judge her (sin causing suffer)
this is your own brain fart excuses, that do not solve conflict, do not satisfy her need.
You one day will find out, that she show up in parties with well dressed nice guy.

Enjoy being donkey who pays for everything and blame her ...

Never ever say 'No' OK? Instead tell to her what keeps you from saying 'Yes'? What is it? You don't care about her needs ... some one else will.

...lets see what we can do to satisfy your need for my appearance in public....

I understand you enjoy walking like a garbage can, and wouldn't move a finger for her, do you? well that has a price.


whore is cheaper, let her find a men who takes care of girls needs.

Every ones needs can be met by free giving from the heart with enjoyment.

I hear her needs so now what is that you need ?

what keeps you from saying 'Yes' to her request?

Stop blaming and diagnosing her, you are not a shrink, I am.

>>33528467
Me, or her?

>>33528093 (OP)
>>because her co-workers (some of whom live in same condo complex) might see me and talk shit/give her a hard time
And she can't defend herself at all if that were to occur, and it's for some weird reason YOUR responsibility to pretend to be someone you're not just so she can avoid something that will inevitably happen to her over something else that is equally superficial and stupid?
She needs to not be so thin-skinned and overly-concerned with the perceptions of other people. If any of my coworkers were so interested in shit-stirring over my personal life I'd tell them to go fuck themselves.

>>33528425
>>33528647
>headache inducing 50 cent army bullshit
Tl;dr

>>33529251
That's kind of how I feel about it

>>33528093 (OP)
>>wife, nurse
:skull:

>>33528093 (OP)
>so invested in his inferiority complex that is to coward to wear nice clothes, even after asked for by his wife

There's only one thing worst that trying to fake being rich.
Trying to fake being poor.

>>33528093 (OP)
You can still look nice. Wear a jumpsuit or a lab coat or overalls, or dress like a greaser.

Unless you dress covered in oil no.

Your wifes a shallow retard. Get fired and I guarentee she'll dump you within a month, reeks of gold digger.

>>33528240
This, wasn't enough to wreck mens spaces now they come online in order to try and argue we are somehow wrong for not being consumer drones.
"Just buy flashy shit to impress her friends anon" couldn't be more of a npc if she tried.

Get a life woman I know this is hard to believe but life isn't about your mall visits.

Imagine wearing a fucking suit on the 3 minute walk to your work truck to impress some chatty nurses. What a fucking waste of time.
Guess you better start parking your truck in a different lot to and drive your leased Jaguar from the condo to the lot incase someone sees you.

>>33528233
Pajeet, you have to go back

>>33529434
First mistake was dating a nurse. I bet she has sex with at least 3 doctors a day between shift.

Nurses are just whores that wanted to be doctors for the money and status, but are too incompetent and low IQ to do that. So they try the next easiest thing.

No, you are not wrong, you should not wear a suit on a 3 minute walk just to impress people, this is something only spiritually underdeveloped people would do. You are a blue collar worker, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're honest. Hiding this and being ashamed of your profession is the most retard thing ever. If anything, she should be ashamed of treating you like crap.

I would divorce her ass.

First mistake was dating a nurse. I bet she has sex with at least 3 doctors a day between shifts.

Nurses are just whores that wanted to be doctors for the money and status, but are too incompetent and low IQ to do that. So they try the next easiest thing.

No, you are not wrong, you should not wear a suit on a 3 minute walk just to impress people, this is something only spiritually underdeveloped people would do. You are a blue collar worker, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're honest. Hiding this and being ashamed of your profession is the most retard thing ever. If anything, she should be ashamed of treating you like crap.

I would divorce her ass.

>>33528093 (OP)
You are a dumb wagie and she is embarrassed.

lmao she's retarded. Sorry you have to deal with that, OP.
Her being ashamed about your profession is a time-bomb, btw. If you can, you should get her a social circle were more women with husbands who also do blue collar work are in.
A woman not respecting her husband (not being proud of what he does) is a killer for relationship. This is a potential dead bedroom in a few years.
You could also try engaging in high-status hobbies or something, you need to fix this urgently.

She wants to live her cosmopolitan dream and you're in the way of it. How did you guys even get married

>>33529536
I already fuck with cars, she loved it when I had my 911. Interestingly this complaint came up less than a week after I sold it.
FWIW I'm not a wagie. I actually own my own business, and even though its just a little sole proprietor thing it has kept the money flowing
In OK. In short, I don't feel like I have anything to be ashamed of, other than not being a doctor or lawyer or something like that.

>>33529839
Lol. Dude you are an accessory and since you dropped the biggest gemstone you had she doesn't want to wear you anymore.
But to be sur, did you have the 911 before you were married?

>>33529859
No, I bought it after a few years.
Not like it was a hugely expensive thing, cars can be had cheap if you can fix them.

>>33529671
She wasn't always like this. She moved to a new unit and a lot of her new coworkers are gossip-y troublemakers.

>>33529513
Actually no. I'm doing pretty well for myself. I just feel that I shouldn't have to cater to snobs who judge me for having a dirty job.
>>33529501
She may be a pain in the ass but I'm sure she isn't a cheater.
At least she apologized via text a little bit ago. She recognized that she should not have made the request. Regardless, I'm still struggling with the idea of being married to someone who is ashamed of me.

>>33528093 (OP)
>wife, nurse
Yeah, that figures. Why are they all like that?

>>33530217
>>33530295
I see, man. Yeah, she is probably adopting the values of the people she is hanging around now. You should talk yo her about it. This is pretty common with people that want to fit in with a clique.

No offense but I think you married a retard. The kind of person who would bury themselves in credit card debt to impress strangers.

>>33530362
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's cruising towards her second debit consolidation. I'm starting to see offers in the mail again. We keep our finances separate so that's her problem, not mine.