Thread 33533509

About 14 years ago there was a critical decision that my parents forced me to take that completely changed the course of my life for the worse

I was reflecting on that specific day: If I took the other option my life unironically would have been better.

I want to move on but cant stop thinking about it. I am in extreme pain and anguish for a long time now, i cant stop thinking why i just didnt go with my instincts then

>>33533509 (OP)
So start over again. You've only lost 14 years

>>33533509 (OP)
parents rarely know what they are doing. some even resent their children and actively hate them and keep them smaller than themselves out of envy or sadism. if your parents were just stupid, which can happen, sharpen your instinct. it might say something else this time around. generally go with what feels coherent, try learning it in small things until you trust your guts for bigger decisions. then it will be easier to not trust anyone over your own soul

>>33533509 (OP)
There’s stuff you can control and stuff you can’t. The past is finished.

>>33533509 (OP)
Can you give us more detail, anon?

>>33534123
It is quite absurd and youll probably think I am making it up so i left it out of the initial post:
I loved computers as a kid and wanted to become a software dev. My mother forced me to change my major to electrical engineering instead because she thought software engineering wasnt something men should be doing. Her reasoning was that you sit in front of a computer which i believe she thought was feminine but I think it had more to do with her trying to make me different because of her sister in law who was in software and she hated her

I graduated and then became a wagecuck. I hate going to my job everyday because I hate the field I am in. it is mentally draining to work on something you dont really care about and overall the engineering stuff is not the straighforward either so i need to spend a lot of mental load to make progress on my job as well. Everyday i think how my life could have been different if I only just did that one thing differently. I can learn and change fields now but I will be losing years and years worth of experience if i make the switch. I am also quite old now