Thread 33534874

how do i encourage my neet boyfriend to go to school and/or get a job without being a nag/reminding him of his mom?

You tell him the cost of living is going up and you don't want to be homeless soon.

Use your body? Us men are dumb horny cavemen holy fuck. Just wear some lace lingerie, take a video of it for him and tell him "if you ever get a job this is what would be waiting for you at home".

>>33534936
my income is enough that were stable but i want us to have more money to do fun stuff together

>>33534945
he doesnt respond to that

you couldn't push me if you tried
but you can lead me by hand with a good attitude and the promise of pussy

>>33534957
>>33534962
I dunno what to tell you then, man. Sounds like the guy has a free ride and is ready to coast. This is all on you. I had a friend in a situation where her boy would just use her as free room and board until she got tired of it. I dunno if it's the same for you but something to consider, especially if he is not responding to, you know, sex.

>>33534972
isnt promising pussy if he gets a job making sex transactional?

>>33534976
i dont feel used as free room and board because either with or without him i would still be living in the same place and paying the same bills. he also helps me with cooking and stuff like that. i just would like to live that dink lifestyle and have more money to do more fun stuff together

>>33534874 (OP)
Ask him what job does he really wanted to do.
Ask him his passion.

Instead of telling or requesting, ask about what he really wanted to do, communicate and be genuinely curious about his future..

If he ask you why, tell him that you're getting sad, that you wanted him to be happier especially with himself.

That man is most definitely scarred by something so bad that he became a dumbass, be chill with him.

>>33534874 (OP)
why the fuck are you putting up with him when there are good men by the boat load with jobs, salaries, cars, etc. going totally unsucked and fucked

Don't try to change him. Bad for you and bad for him and bad for men in general

You'd had to started with a different man.

>>33535141
i am chill with him thats why i dont want to nag or pressure him. i get the sense that he doesnt know what he wants to do. he does have some passions but doesnt believe they are profitable to make a living. how can i help him figure it out?
>>33535147
would any of these established men want a 4/10 face cutter scars lonely dysgenic man hating female?
>>33535156
what should i do?

>>33534874 (OP)
Don't associate with a NEET. By definition they are useless to everyone including themselves.

>>33536066
im mostly a loser myself too though so its not like i have many options

>>33535178
>would any of these established men want a 4/10 face cutter scars lonely dysgenic man hating female?
If you give good gluk gluk and make dinner yes absolutely. Although you'll need to hush up the man hating thing.

>>33536268
i will not hush up the man hating thing though so where does that leave me

>>33536299
Assuming your willing to cook and gluk gluk then aim for a more middle class. You aim a little lower or higher on the socio-economic scale based on how attractive he has to be ( upper middle class for ugly , Lower middle class for attractive. )

Also are you fat

>>33536314
i tried to aim for lower middle class but he was the only one that wanted me. not fat

>>33536324
Then aim for average middle or ugly upper. Offer affection and sex early on to a loser guy and he'll worship you.

>>33536365
would an upper middle class man really want a mental female when they could probably get an average one? seems odd

>>33534874 (OP)
>how do i encourage my neet boyfriend to go to school and/or get a job without being a nag/reminding him of his mom?
He will never change. My father was a NEET, and my mother believed he would eventually take responsibility, but he never did. Growing up, I faced countless difficulties because of his inaction. Life became a constant struggle, and I often had to deal with problems that should have been his to handle.

Imagine going to school and, on career day, when people ask what your father does, you either have no answer or you have to say he is a stay at home dad. Even that would be misleading, because he did not take care of me or contribute in any meaningful way. He spent all day at home doing nothing, relying on others to support him. My uncle even tried to help him find a job, but within months he was unemployed again. When asked why, he would give some excuse, but years later I discovered he had deliberately told his boss to go F himself.

This behavior shows a deeper issue. NEETs like him have no sense of responsibility or morality. They will do whatever it takes to live off the effort of others, without considering the consequences for the people around them. Growing up under such circumstances leaves lasting scars and teaches harsh lessons about human behavior.

If you don’t want to end up raising children on your own, while financially supporting both them and your husband, only to be divorced by the age of 40, it’s better to make that decision now.

>>33536388
If he is ugly and lonely yes. But you'll need to lay in on thick ( good chicken dinners and sloppy toppy on the regular)

>>33536412
id only have children under the condition of being a stay at home mother so not too worried about that. but something to think about, thank you

>>33536439
Accidents happen.

>>33536439
>id only have children under the condition of being a stay at home mother so not too worried about that. but something to think about, thank you
Also, are you really willing to never have children? Because he is not gonna change. You will never be a stay at home mom if you marry him

>>33536444
abortions happen
>>33536449
i kind of go back and forth on children. on one end it would be cool to have 10 and build a big dynasty. on one end i would do fine with just 1. the final end i believe i am too ugly and dysgenic to reproduce at all, i could use my money towards having fun and doing stuff i enjoy in life. so i guess its not really a big deal. maybe it will become more of a problem when i get a older

Unrelated but how do I meet dysgenic femcel women

>>33536459
>abortions happen
That's murder, and not funny. If you had nephews or children, you would understand.

>i kind of go back and forth on children. on one end it would be cool to have 10 and build a big dynasty. on one end i would do fine with just 1. the final end i believe i am too ugly and dysgenic to reproduce at all, i could use my money towards having fun and doing stuff i enjoy in life. so i guess its not really a big deal. maybe it will become more of a problem when i get a older
Yup, you should definitely not have kids. Kids don’t ask to be brought into this world, and they don’t deserve narcissistic parenting.

>>33536482
bf and i met on dating app
>>33536484
>That's murder
no its not
>not funny
yes it is
>If you had nephews or children, you would understand.
i have many younger family members, im great with children, i still support abortion. im a woman, what do you expect?
>Yup, you should definitely not have kids. Kids don’t ask to be brought into this world, and they don’t deserve narcissistic parenting.
narcissistic in what way?

>>33536499
>narcissistic in what way?
Notice the way you talk about children, it's always about you. You clearly have some screw looses.

>"I" kind of go back and forth on children
>it would be cool to have 10 and build a big dynasty
>on one end i would do fine with just 1
> i am too ugly and dysgenic to reproduce at all i could use my money towards having fun doing stuff i enjoy in life
>maybe it will become more of a problem when i get a older
Noticed? Every single point you raised is about yourself. You even cogitate having kids so they will take care of you in your old age. Every single thought of your heart is "dark"

>im a woman, what do you expect?
Let's ignore the fact many aborted children are also woman. Really an incoherent position.

>>That's murder
>no its not
Yes it is, you can lie to yourself, it doesn't change this fact. It's a biological fact.

>>33536540
>You clearly have some screw looses.
yes, what do you expect from a 4chan female
>Noticed? Every single point you raised is about yourself.
you asked about my opinion on if i was really willing to never have children, i was giving you my opinion
>You even cogitate having kids so they will take care of you in your old age.
i never said that? i said maybe it will become a problem when i get older. meaning maybe my opinion on having children will change when i get older (30-40). but right now i am open minded to it, theres pros and cons
>many aborted children are also woman.
so?
>Yes it is, you can lie to yourself, it doesn't change this fact. It's a biological fact
its an opinion actually. also im not necessarily against murder, so even if it was murder doesnt mean i care

>>33534874 (OP)
Lol I was this boyfriend, though I did well to take care of the house at least. Just lived in a shit area for jobs and couldn't afford school, lived off my investments to cover the basics. But I couldn't treat her how I wanted to, or do anything that special. Marriage also became a distant dream. And god forbid an accident happens to either of you. The only answer is to leave. If he can't even take care of himself, how will he provide for you? You're on a sinking ship. Just being real.

>>33536225
Sure but you can usually get at least a loser with a job or a passion, sister. Not to be a total ass to your boyfriend this is a very modern dilemma facing depressed, disenfranchised young men, but unfortunately he is in for a rude awakening soon and idk if you want to be part of that.

>>33536567
>you asked about my opinion on if i was really willing to never have children, i was giving you my opinion
Not really. That’s exactly what I asked: "Also, are you really willing to never have children?"

But here’s the issue, that answer reveals something deeper about you. You don’t seem to care about other people at all. You’re always calculating worth and utility, as if the value of everything comes down to whether it benefits you.

>>You even think about having kids just so they’ll take care of you in old age.
>I never said that?
Yes, you did. You literally said "maybe it will become more of a problem when I get older." That implies you see children as a safety net for your old age, someone to solve your loneliness or to look after you when you can’t take care of yourself. That’s not love for children, that’s using them as retirement insurance.

>>Yes it is, you can lie to yourself, it doesn't change this fact. It's a biological fact
>its an opinion actually.
It’s not an opinion. Abortion is murder because it deliberately ends a human life. From the moment of conception, the embryo is genetically distinct, alive, and human, it has its own DNA, separate from the mother’s. That’s the scientific definition of a living organism. Ending that life intentionally is killing, and killing an innocent human is, by definition, murder. Calling it "choice" doesn’t change the biological fact of what happens.

>also im not necessarily against murder, so even if it was murder doesnt mean i care
And that right there exposes your narcissism again. For you, nothing is truly right or wrong, something is only "bad" if it inconveniences you, and it’s "acceptable" if it benefits you. Even saying you might not care about murder proves that morality, to you, is irrelevant compared to self-interest.

That's sad, and it's frustrating to talk to people like (you). You should seek treatment before wanting any kids in your life.

>>33536574
thanks
>>33536584
thanks. a thought that has crossed my mind is that even if he feels depressed or disenfranchised or that his family set him up for failure. all of the same things happened to me, and i still took initiative to make things happen in my life, so im not sure why he isnt

>>33536574
>how will he provide for you
Does he need to? OP has clearly said that she earns enough income for both of them.

>>33536618
>You don’t seem to care about other people at all. You’re always calculating worth and utility, as if the value of everything comes down to whether it benefits you.
interesting perspective
>Yes, you did. You literally said "maybe it will become more of a problem when I get older." That implies you see children as a safety net for your old age, someone to solve your loneliness or to look after you when you can’t take care of yourself. That’s not love for children, that’s using them as retirement insurance.
you misinterpreted that originally and i already explained in other words what i meant. are you retarded or something? esl?
>For you, nothing is truly right or wrong
some things are truly right or wrong, i have a morality code
>Even saying you might not care about murder proves that morality, to you, is irrelevant
im pro murder in certain situations if its the right thing to do
>You should seek treatment
for what exactly?

>>33536666
Four 6 in a row... Guess you are a narcistic devil, am I right?

>you misinterpreted that originally and i already explained in other words what i meant. are you retarded or something? esl?
When faced with the accusations you say "ESL ur dur" Look at the way you write, I may be an ESL, but at least I know how to write. Reflect upon what I said before trying to offend me.

>>You should seek treatment
>for what exactly?
For your narcissism? Have you paid any attention? It's all about (you), everything has to benefit (you), even your children has to live to please (you)... Really. I'm tired, It's like I'm talking to a emotionally stunt wall.

>>33536666
Four 6 in a row... Guess you are a narcistic devil, am I right?

>you misinterpreted that originally and i already explained in other words what i meant. are you retarded or something? esl?
When faced with the accusations you say "ESL ur dur" Look at the way you write, I may be an ESL, but at least I know how to write. Reflect upon what I said before trying to offend me.

>>You should seek treatment
>for what exactly?
For your narcissism? Have you paid any attention? It's all about (you), everything has to benefit (you), even your children has to live to please (you)... Really. I'm tired, It's like I'm talking to an emotionally stunt wall.

>>33536687
>When faced with the accusations you say "ESL ur dur"
when faced with stupidity and a male that doesnt listen i say esl ur dur because what else am i supposed to say? i already explained what i meant to you, i cant make you understand it. i have a pension and an ira, im planning for retirement in advance and wouldnt depend on a child for it. so what do you want from me?
>Reflect upon what I said before trying to offend me.
you havent said anything worth reflecting on
>For your narcissism? Have you paid any attention?
im paying attention, just everything you have said seems to have been pulled out of your ass. so not sure what you want me to do about that lol

>>33536709
Alright

do not reply to esls

>>33536633
There's a saying, "A man who becomes good at excuses, will never become good at anything else." I learned this the hard way. He probably has deeper issues that he has not confronted, but that's not your problem after a certain point. Trust me, I can sympathize as a guy who struggles with trauma and depression myself. But when a couple isn't putting themselves above all else, which means sacrifice, and commitment, and hope is big too, it is doomed to fail.

>>33536650
>does he need to?
well when OP makes a thread about wanting her boyfriend to have a job or go to school, it implies she'd like her partner to have a job or be going to school to you know provide for her?

>>33536766
Technically, sure. In practice, who in the world uses that word for any sort of a relationship where both people acquire currency for each other?

>>33536758
is this the same male who “was that boyfriend”? if so, do you think that i should be taking this more personally? like is this actually because he has too many issues of his own, or does he just not care to do it because he doesnt like me that much?

dunno how old ya'll are or how long this relationship has been going on for but my experience is that after 25 people generally don't change unless there's some huge, life-altering event (and even that might be a fleeting change).

>>33535178
>would any of these established men want a 4/10 face cutter scars lonely dysgenic man hating female?
Many men would be fine with that if it meant free room and board.

>>33536978
well the point of the question is that i dont want to provide free room and board i want my male to also provide money so that we can do fun activities together. so would a man accept me as i am but also be established and able to provide money

>>33536412
I can vouch for this anon, my father was a similar case. Just couldn't / wouldn't work after a certain age, my mom divorced him.

>>33536986
There's a man for everyone, anon.

I have a female friend from college who was fat as fuck - fat rolls everywhere. I was cool with her as a friend until she went into a whore phase and fucked countless strangers from Craigslist.

I thought she would live forever alone but NOPE. Married to a grey haired, military hunk. Just had their 3rd kid.

If she can pull it off, every woman can.

>>33536986
>so would a man accept me as i am but also be established and able to provide money
No comment on appearance, as without photos that can't really be judged. But
>lonely
Is not even universally considered negative;
>man hating
Simps wouldn't mind.
With that said, if you're already wandering off to thoughts of finding another man, you should try nagging your current BF first, if getting a job is that important, instead of breaking up without trying heavier persuasion.

>>33537009
>With that said, if you're already wandering off to thoughts of finding another man, you should try nagging your current BF first, if getting a job is that important, instead of breaking up without trying heavier persuasion.
i dont have these thoughts, im just answering what people have asked or said. i dont want to leave, i just mainly want to help him, thats why i came here to ask this question to men who are similar to him. from the answers this seems like a tough task, but i will try while i can