Thread 33540170

I (M32) am gonna date a F19 who is a 10/10. Had a match with her, we have daily chats since 1 week and she already has a small internet crush on me and wants me to conquer her. We are Germans. Had a talk with US-Americans about this and they acted like I was dating a child. She‘s pretty reasonable for her age, doesn‘t like partying, she has a job and her own flat and wants to become a housewife. What’s your opinion on age gaps? Any advices?

Sounds like a non issue and you took a suicidal persons thread off the catalog.

>>33540189
So, you came to my thread just to blame me for suicidal persons to exist around here? Are you allowed to ask for advices only if you have a suicidal life crisis?

>>33540170 (OP)
Who cares what other people think. You're not breaking any laws, so the important thing is that your relationship with this girl is positive and lasting. Your difficulties are going to be a) affording a single income household and b) making sure the cultural gap between you is bridged.

I don't know a lot about German economic conditions, but you are going to need to be making bank to have a housewife. Two cars is probably a necessity, and the whole point of a housewife is child care, so you are going to be supporting a growing family not just another adult. However, if you're spending all your time working, then a young, attractive woman is going to start getting bored. It's not going to be easy balancing work and your life together.

Another problem is that 13 years is quite a bit of a gap in cultural terms. She is not going to have any first hand knowledge of events or media that you consider formative, and the sort of things that she grew up with (tv shows, music, games, children's movies, etc.,) are going to to be foreign to you as well. You will each make references that the other won't get. A big one is that you are old enough to have grown up in a world where the internet wasn't ubiquitous, and she isn't.

The good news is that this gap can be mostly bridged, but it will mean spending a lot of time together talking, sharing experiences old and new, etc. You will probably have to watch a lot of media, read books, and listen to music you consider kinda cringey. Don't mock any of it. The bad news is that you'll also have to try to make friends with her friends, whom are probably not going to mesh so well with you. Trying to integrate friend groups is going to be rough.

Another problem is her parents. They are, understandably, not going to like the idea of their little girl being in a relationship with someone closer to their age than hers. My advice would be to be as respectful and deferential as you possibly can.

>>33540271
Emphasize your financial success, stability, and maturity. If her parents visit your home, it had better be clean and well-appointed. Cook for them, demonstrate your capability to take care of their daughter. Again, financial success is going to be crucial here, though you should demonstrate it to her parents in subtle ways.

If you visit her parent's home overnight (if they live far away), then insist on separate sleeping arrangements for you and her. I know Germans are a progressive people, but this is just a show of respect. If her father mentions anything with respect to yardwork or maintenance, offer to help (again, to demonstrate the ability to care for their daughter). Help with your hands, not with your money.

tl;dr - this is doable, but not trivial. It will take genuine time and effort on your part.

>>33540170 (OP)
It's the 1 in her age that freaks people. When you're 33 and she's 20 no one will notice

>>33540271
Thanks for the extensive reply! Yea, it’s the societal „conventions“ that make me feel weird about this. I asked her if her parents would be okay with her dating a man whi‘s 13 years older. She doesn‘t understand the problem, replied „I think so. Why wouldn‘t they? My father also is 7 years older than my mom“.

>>33540170 (OP)
i fucked around with a 19 year old in my mid 30s. didnt date her, we werent seeing other people though, just flew her out every once in awhile because we were horny for each other. its not something i talk about with friends or family. i guess it could work in theory but probably less likely to work as you guys are in different stages of your lives. just enjoy it and dont openly bring up the age gap and people wont really care.

>>33540306
Germans might be less progressive than you think. It‘s just the state and the media caste that is progressive. I am a nationalist and able to deal with old school behaviour. She seems to like that.

>>33540314
Haha, you might be right about that. The „teen“ in „nineteen“ is what feels weird about this.

>>33540327
So you didn‘t really have an emotional connection? I make her compliments and she really enjoys it. It just makes me feel like I would „put a spell“ on her. I don‘t want to turn her head too much, as her personality might not be fully developed yet.

>>33540347
>So you didn‘t really have an emotional connection?
tough question, i enjoyed her company and she enjoyed mine. we would even participate in each others hobbies together from time to time, i never considered it dating or being committed to her though. i guess we just didnt have a label on what we were. the relationship was mostly physical, felt like a fwb thing.

i kind of get what you mean, i experienced the same sort of struggle internally. this was unknown to me but we met only a few weeks after she broke up with her first real bf. i thought it would be a one time thing, didnt take it too seriously, and didnt want to influence her too much as i assumed she was still trying to find her true self at that age. like for me i didnt have a good idea of who i was until probably 25-26.

it would have taken a lot of effort to make it work but looking back, i think it is possible. so, dont give up or write it off, shes young and probably a little sheltered but do what you can to show her family that you respect and love her a lot, and things will work out.

>>33540170 (OP)
>What’s your opinion on age gaps?
It's a bit pathetic that you're not capable of forming an emotional connection with someone your own age. Mentally you're still a teenager yourself, so you have to date an actual teen.

>>33540170 (OP)
another german with wishes of conquering, what the fuck happened in your region that all of you are so hungry for dominance?

oh right :D

why the fuck do you care about people's opinions with age gap? get off reddit and stop talking to brainwashed americans, my advice is date her and see if she even likes you before you jump too far ahead and make ideas in your head. I'm giving you this advice as your Dutch brother, good luck and don't be too macho

>>33540373
Sounds like you both just looked for some distraction. Do you know what she found interesting about you that much?

>>33540869
It‘s just coincidence that she‘s so young. I didn‘t specifically look for younger women. But maybe you have a point. My life was a roller coaster so far, I did quit my job in my mid-20s to go to university, which is pretty late. Student‘s life makes you „young“ again.

>>33540938
Dag, Nachbar! Like 2500 years of inter-German(ic) war happened until we got our stuff together just to fight in following wars. This had an influence on our blood, language, culture and way of thinking.
Thanks for the advice, friend. Just chill, let it happen and see where this is going. Sounds good. This is what I am gonna do.

I'm 31 dating a 22 year old. Luxemburg, funny enough. It is what it is. I don't really care, but keep in mind that, no matter how mature she is for her age, she'll have quirks. More sensitive to criticsim and validation, more emotionally volatile, more intesen in love but also more intense in rage

>>33540869
Kek, is this bitch fucking real. Any other board I'd know this is a troll poster but here...
Based OP.

>>33540170 (OP)
>LDR
I won't read app-addled threads. They are totally delusional.

>>33540170 (OP)
In my mid 30s I had a problem with American women in their 20s who were immature and didn't want to settle down but if she wants to settle down and not party and experiment more than she's a keeper. It's probably disbelief with your friends because American women these days don't want to settle down till they hit the wall and are used up.

>>33540170 (OP)
Anything over a 1 year age gap is literally a crime for americans, it is fine anywhere else in the world
Disregard their opinions
Enjoy your date
Thread over

>>33540170 (OP)
It's not a crime, but I think much less of 30+ year old men who seriously date 18-22 year old women. Makes me think they're not mature enough for a woman their own age and need a woman who's young enough to fall for their bullshit.

>>33544111
>he thinks 30y+ women are more mature than 18-22 year olds
kek

>>33544278
this. i never met women who were not grandmothers i would call mature.

>>33541168
>is this bitch fucking real
I'm a guy, but I'm real. When you're in your 30s you *should* regard teenagers as little more than children. If you don't, it's because you never grew up yourself.

>>33544111
>can't get prime pussy
>can't admit it
>calls guys who can losers
massive cope
so diCaprio is fucking all those supermodels who are 25 years younger because he can't get a 50 yr old woman, is that it?

>>33545250
Lmaoooo great comeback man, indeed makes you think a little, why DOESN'T Leo go with that prime dry aged 50 y.o musssy?

>>33545250
This is why I said "seriously date," not "sleep with."

>>33540170 (OP)
>What’s your opinion on age gaps?
The people who have strong opinions against them seems to be absolute morons. The type who ALWAYS give bad advice about everything. Sure, just this one time they might be correct but I highly doubt it.
There's a lot of magical thinking that it can't possibly work but they could never break up over it not working so its wrong because it would work despite being wrong. Like I wrote, the people against them seem to be morons.