Why am I like this?
I saw someone post monkey torture video and my heart started racing and it turned me on (not in a sexual way) like I really enjoyed it. I always enjoy the thought of dragging my wife and just torturing her, the thought just makes me feel so right. But not my wife, everyone around me. I have exuded so much self control in my 22 year old life. When I’m in public I literally calculate every possible scenario and I before I drive anywhere, I analyze every possible road and hazard. Im scared someone will try to kill me or hurt me. But anyway you guys don’t think I’m crazy? When I was 8 to 11 years old, I bullied a mute kid (because he was mute and wouldn’t tell on me). And I would do disgusting things, like spit on him and stab him with a pencil. Tell him horrible stuff like how his parents are at home getting killed. Thought out my life I’ve been known as super anti social but not in a shy way, I’m very direct with people but people think I’m nice and sweet (generally speaking)
