>>33549488 (OP)
Start a gofundme page or similar to have your face repaired back to normal. It's not authentic but its far better than the previous.
1. You won't feel bad about yourself.
2. People won't be horrified or traumatized by such face especially kids.
3. Some people who will donate for your cause will feel generous and feel happy helping you.
It's a win-win situation. The only thing that might lose is your ego to pull it off.