Thread 33549832

What do I even do with my life?

I'm mid thirties, live in a tiny apartment, and I am in school. I'm doing advanced degrees in mathematics because I love it. That is pretty much the only positive in my life. Other than that I have no friends, no social activities, nothing else to do other than walk around my city and watch movies. There are a few people at university I talk to on a regular basis only seemingly because we're doing the same thing.

I have always wanted a wife and kids, but this is unlikely at this point. I am too old and poor, and probably wouldn't make "decent" money until my 40s. I am also socially retarded and can't talk to women, or anyone really. Most conversation feels pointless.

I've been asking myself lately... "What is this all for?" It seems like nothing. I get intense and pure emotional and mental satisfaction from my work, but other than that my life is completely empty and if I am not doing mathematics the emptiness is suffocating and painful. I'm not sure what to do or where to go, I can't escape it. I have been considering suicide lately. I just don't know what the hell I'd even do for the next 30-40 years. More of the same emptiness? Fuck that.

If it's something you love and are good at, why not stick through it until you can make good money with it? As long as you can avoid falling into some shitty, soul-sucking job, you can start branching out and trying to catch up on the social stuff. Or start now. Try asking your classmates (or whoever it is you see regularly) to grab a beer or coffee.

>>33549832 (OP)
Who told you that you need to make money to attract women? There are artists that make dogshit, but still get poon on the regular. Embrace your crazy scientist's path and get em bitches.
The topic of family and sustaining a family will arise later. And when you are at that point you will find a solution. Either moving or changing you job or quitting the relationship, because you realize that your job is more fulfilling than a family.

Just try, dude. You can always ger back to the life you have right now.

>>33549832 (OP)
I won't read calendar of doom threads. Just start now.