Thread 33557997

I met this guy online recently and we get along really well. I've honestly never liked anyone this much before. We have an insane amount of things in common, I could go on and on about how much I like him as a person. Point is: I really like his personality.
The problem is we eventually sent photos of ourselves to the other and I don't find him physically attractive at all. I feel awful about it. The things I find unattractive about him are things he can't change either. For instance, he's bald and can't grow hair, but hair is a huge point of attraction for me. At this point we're already attached to each other. He's very much in love with me. He finds me very physically attractive and I feel beyond bad that I do not return that feeling. This connection is really important to me and I don't want to ever hurt or upset him, so I have no idea what to do. The lack of physical attraction mainly worries me when it'd come to anything sexual. What the hell do I do? He's already insecure over his appearance and his own family give him a hard time over it, so if he knew how I felt it'd crush him. I feel so fucking bad over this. I think he would be almost entirely perfect for me if I found him physically attractive.

lol let him get a transplant in turkey if that is so important to you

>>33557997 (OP)
Just get with him.

>>33557997 (OP)
>What the hell do I do?
Is there nothing positive about his looks? Like his eyes, or mouth or whatever. It's kinda shitty, and I had a similar situation and couldn't get over it despite trying. But I didn't care that much for her personality, so it's maybe not completely the same. I'd say you can try and support him getting better with his looks including hair transplants etc. most guys don't want to be bald, they just aren't motivated enough to do anything against it.

>>33557997 (OP)
If hes the type of guy who only likes women for dating and sex, there's no guaranteed way to let him down while keeping the friendship intact. It's really easy to interpret "let's just stay friends" as "give me attention while i wait for someone better"

It's worth trying, but you need to let him down easy and you HAVE to tell him sooner rather than later. The longer you take the more its gonna hurt the both of you.

>>33557997 (OP)
He can't wear a wig for you?

>>33557997 (OP)
>I don't want to ever hurt or upset him,
I'm afraid that ship has sailed. He is going to get hurt, no matter what happens. You need to accept that reality. Stop looking for a way to avoid hurting him (there isn't one) and start looking for a way to hurt him a little less than some of the other options.

And that will involve being honest with him immediately. The longer you wait before being honest, the more you will hurt him.

>>33558030
>Just get with him.
Shut the fuck up. Don't say shit like that dude, if she is not attracted to him, he deserves someone who is, or to at least, not live in a lie

>>33557997 (OP)
>can't grow hair
He can get a transplant in Turkey, is there any other physical characteristics he can't change? Describe so we can give another perspective.

>>33557997 (OP)
get raped, femoid

>>33557997 (OP)
Start gooning to bald guys or strongly encourage him to wear a hat.

Stupid foid cunt. You have a good man and you're upset because you think you can get someone better. He can do so much better than you.

>>33557997 (OP)
Post your larp threads on your own board >>/lgbt/

>>33557997 (OP)
If you are attracted to the person inside thr packaging, you come to find the packaging attractive.

>>33557997 (OP)
Just ghost him.
Think about it, his appearance will never stop bothering you. He will always be ugly and mutual attraction is the spice in a relationship.
It's best for both of you in the long term.

It's a lost cause. Even if you went for it you'd quietly despise him for being ugly which would be bad for both of you

>>33557997 (OP)
Just because he isnt physically attractive you dont want him?Ngl crazy love just about looks now days Well anyways than stop texting him because if you dont like how he looks(Just because you dont like how he looks)than just ghost him you already fuvked up no matter what tf you do he is going to hate himself even more and find himself ugly

If you love him aside his looks you can figure things out, but it sounds like you don't love him all that much because you're questioning leaving him over being fucking bald. Just shut the fuck up.

>>33557997 (OP)
Men are not something you're actually supposed to be attracted to as a woman. You get attracted to how much of a woman he can make you feel like. It's extra attractive if he's high status and can make you feel special on top of that because he "chose" you.

it's comical watching people shock themselves with how shallow they actually are

>>33557997 (OP)
Male here
Don't pursue, it doesn't work out, I tried with a girl I didn't find attractive because I loved her but it doesn't get better, it gets worse. They aren't going to get better they are going to get worse. Leave now.

>>33568145
m here, agree with this

>>33557997 (OP)
It’s ok just approach the lack of attraction in an empathetic kind way. You can’t be with someone sexually if you aren’t attracted it just doesn’t make sense.

if you're not attracted just don't bother. it will become a problem later on if you indulge it. i say this as the guy that was the pity partner at one point of my life.

for the easy route, he'll get the message if you even imply something like "i'm not ready for a relationship yet" or any evasion thereof but he will most likely fade away with time.
for the real route, i'd be honest with the emphasis that you really enjoy the friendship regardless. us men hate uncertainty and being clear with the truth is at least closure. you can even suggest on what he could improve lookswise for his future. i personally would have wished having a "wingwoman" friend just telling me the truth straight up.

if he crashes out on either option, then he is not a person you would have wanted to be in a relationship with anyways.

>>33568145
You loved her but didn't find attractive, how come? How do you even fall in love with someone not attractive?

It would be a huge help for me to know how, I'm desperate

>>33569251
NTA but love isn't just attraction/lust. You may want to fuck someone you have no feelings for and also treasure greatly someone you don't want to fuck. If you cannot differentiate these, you have a serious issue.

>>33569251
Also NTA but I love someone who is anxiously attached yet not that attractive to me. Guess what the issue is? It's not her looks, it's the way she monopolizes my time and attention and makes me feel like I can't say no without making her cry.

>>33569322
Of course I know that its two different things, but to start dating at first you still have to find them somewhat attractive?

>>33569362
Yeah that doesn't sound good