Oral Sex/Foreplay Troubles
Hello, I am a 22 year old sexually frustrated M.
Because of my anxiety and OCD, I deal with a lot of intrusive thoughts that can affect my ability to maintain an erection. Usually this is helped when my girlfriend is willing to do oral, and it almost always works. Recently, though, she has decided she dislikes oral. She’s also turned off by the fact that I often rely on it to keep my erections consistent. Instead, she has started expressing fantasies where she will only do oral if I put something down my throat, “something dick-shaped but not squishy,” as she put it. When I asked if this was a requirement for me to receive oral, she said it would help because I would “know how it feels.” She also explained that these fantasies shift depending on her mood: if she’s horny, she imagines me enjoying it, but if she’s angry about “cultural issues in the world,” she imagines me being upset. She has also told me that her mouth is “abnormally shaped” from sucking her thumb too much (which she still does in bed), and that men don’t really understand what it feels like for a woman to perform oral sex.
What bothers me is that she almost always asks for sex but doesn’t want to put in the effort to make it easier for me. On top of that, I worry that forcing myself to put things down my throat, especially with my poor gag reflex, would kill my mood and make me not want to attempt intercourse at all. It’s also confusing because we only just started having sex this year, even though we’ve been together for nearly 3 years, and in the beginning she was fine with oral. At one point she even said she enjoyed it on her own.
What should I do? Also, no. She doesn't count me eating her out on the same level.
Because of my anxiety and OCD, I deal with a lot of intrusive thoughts that can affect my ability to maintain an erection. Usually this is helped when my girlfriend is willing to do oral, and it almost always works. Recently, though, she has decided she dislikes oral. She’s also turned off by the fact that I often rely on it to keep my erections consistent. Instead, she has started expressing fantasies where she will only do oral if I put something down my throat, “something dick-shaped but not squishy,” as she put it. When I asked if this was a requirement for me to receive oral, she said it would help because I would “know how it feels.” She also explained that these fantasies shift depending on her mood: if she’s horny, she imagines me enjoying it, but if she’s angry about “cultural issues in the world,” she imagines me being upset. She has also told me that her mouth is “abnormally shaped” from sucking her thumb too much (which she still does in bed), and that men don’t really understand what it feels like for a woman to perform oral sex.
What bothers me is that she almost always asks for sex but doesn’t want to put in the effort to make it easier for me. On top of that, I worry that forcing myself to put things down my throat, especially with my poor gag reflex, would kill my mood and make me not want to attempt intercourse at all. It’s also confusing because we only just started having sex this year, even though we’ve been together for nearly 3 years, and in the beginning she was fine with oral. At one point she even said she enjoyed it on her own.
What should I do? Also, no. She doesn't count me eating her out on the same level.