Thread 33571992

Ever since me and my ex girlfriend of 3+ years broke up, my life has gone entirely downhill. I’m extremely depressed and unmotivated, to the point where I have basically given up on life entirely. I feel so dejected, unmotivated and sad that I legitimately do not care about the future I was building anymore. I am (was) in school for fire fighting, and I really wanted creative writing in hopes to become a writer one day. All of this basically went out the door after I lost her. I’ve taken up drinking and smoking weed/cigs/vapes again, partially due to cope, partially due to addiction, and partially due to the hopes that I’ll just get cancer and die. I want to state outright that her leaving me isn’t the only reason why I’ve given up, but it’s more of “the straw that broke the camels back”.

The worst part is, she’s doing absolutely great. She’s following her dreams of being a theatre actress, she has tons of new friends, a new boyfriend, and is genuinely doing so much better than me in life. Meanwhile I’m withering away with no desire or motivation to do anything with my life now that she’s gone. It hurts even more cause when we dated, she was extremely lazy and did nothing but smoke weed all day and do nothing with her life. I tired repeatedly to encourage her to get her life together, which eventually led to us breaking up. Now that we broke up, she’s doing great for herself. It hurts me so much that she finally improved her life after we broke up. I’ve tried to replace her; and all my dates have failed. The best I got was a situationship that lasted a month before she ghosted me and started dating another guy. I feel so miserable, alone and unmotivated. I just want my old life back.

don't let appearances fool you anon, women are never happy.
anyway, where is your resolve? is she really the only reason you were on this planet? 8 billion people, and many more things than people? is that all you wanted to do here?

>>33572089
I’m a total fucking failure with women. I’ve tried to replace the void she left in my life and I constantly get ghosted or rejected because I’m an ugly little autistic weirdo. I don’t see point in living a life I’ll be miserable and alone in. She was basically my only girlfriend in all 26 years of my life, and we only started dating because it was lightning in a bottle. I can’t replicate that success again, believe me I tried. I either need to accept I’ll be alone forever or just kill myself.

>>33572112
>26
>been in a relationship for over three years
lol, you've spent most of your years of maturity in a relationship, and you are gonna larp as an incel? women aren't your problem. your issue is psychological. go get treatment for whatever complex you have.
being sad because of heartbreak is fine but being sad because you are a pathetic defeatist is kind of lame, and it seems to me like you are the second one. it's all the more embarrassing because, as i said, you've spent most of your life in maturity in a relationship. get a grip.

>>33572112
I broke up with the love of my life at 19. For years I was depressed. At 27 I did not think i would have a partner. I had to move into my parent's house for a time, and while there i met my life partner. At 25 I had nothing. At 30 I had a career a wife a house and our daughter was born.
Who knows what's around thdkmhyk
e corner?

>>33572127
My point is that most people at the age of 26 have had multiple girlfriends, and I didn’t get mine till I was 23. AND it only happened because we were the only two young people at my job while everyone else was in their 50s, so we obviously grew close. That was literally lightning in a bottle and I’ll never be able to replicate that luck again. Ever since she left I’ve tired multiple times to get a new girlfriend and I constantly get rejected or ghosted, every single time. It’s impossible to be a defeatist when you constantly get ghosted or rejected by girls.
>>33572133
You’re an exception, not the norm. Mist of the time people like me don’t ever find somebody. Believe me I’ve been trying extremely hard but I constantly fail. I’m just going by pattern recognition. It makes far more sense to draw conclusions on the current pattern than to expect some fucking miracle 180.

>>33571992 (OP)
>woman upgrades her life
>immediately monkey branches to another man
Many such cases

>>33572145
>My point is that most people at the age of 26 have had multiple girlfriends, and I didn’t get mine till I was 23.
yeah and they would have also had shorter relationships than you which would be qualitatively different, so you are at worst even and at best have an advantage.
>AND it only happened because we were the only two young people at my job while everyone else was in their 50s, so we obviously grew close.
so if you use your brain, the secret here is to literally just consistently share a space with a woman and you will eventually get together.
>I constantly get rejected or ghosted, every single time. It’s impossible to be a defeatist when you constantly get ghosted or rejected by girls.
dating app faggotry isn't a confession.

>>33572237
Your first point is total bullshit. I know so many people that are younger than me who have had more girlfriends than me AND they had them for way longer, starting usually at age 16. Almost everybody I know from highschool is getting married and starting families, meanwhile I can’t even get a fucking text back.

I have no idea where to meet women that isn’t on dating apps. I’ve worked with countless girls my life and my ex was the only one who showed interest in me, because
1. She was autistic as well
2. We were the only two young people at my job

It’s mathematically fucking impossible to find that again.

I don’t understand your point about dating apps. Plenty of guys have ZERO ISSUES on dating apps. Look at all the success stories on r/seduction. Yes I fucking hate Reddit as much as anyone here but that place proves how easy it is to get women when you’re actually born normally and don’t have a surplus of fucking deformities and a introverted personality type.

>>33572112
>I’ve tried to replace the void she left in my life and I constantly get ghosted or rejected because I’m an ugly little autistic weirdo
It sounds like you're coming on too strong to any prospects you have. Also, stop being so fucking dramatic.

>>33572300
How am I being dramatic lmao I’m just being unfiltered 100% honest.

I don’t understand how I come off too strong. I swear to god women have this crazy fucking super sixth sense superpower to automatically detect anything wrong with you at any time it’s fucking crazy. I legitimately do not fucking understand how these women work and they always see right through me. I’m so fucked dude I fucking hate my parents for having me in their mid 40s. It’s their fault I was born autistic and deformed. I would do anything to just be a fucking normal human being.

>>33572271
>It’s mathematically fucking impossible to find that again.
so stop looking for it
there's way way waaaay worse fates in life than being bitchless, enjoy what you do have. Get into a new hobby, live out your life. Of course it's miserable, who said it wouldn't be? Don't worry too much, it'll be over before you know it, the older you get the quicker the years fly by, especially if you have no one around to add complexity to your life. Fall into the routines and watch the end of your life speed towards you faster than you can imagine.

>>33572311
I’d rather just kill myself instead of subjecting myself to mental torture seeing happy couples everywhere I fucking go.

Bump

Bump

I empathize OP but all I can say is at least it was only 3-4 years. I had a similar experience but it was 14 years, and now I'm in my 30s and I've only ever had that one relationship. I would say just try to work on yourself and building your future again and hope for the best.

I understand the wanting to get cancer thing though. I wish I could kill myself but I don't want to break my mom's heart.

>>33572133
I hope for a good turnaround like this for me. The past couple years have felt like just the complete end of the road.

>>33571992 (OP)
>Ever since me and my ex girlfriend of 3+ years broke up, my life has gone entirely downhill. I’m extremely depressed and unmotivated, to the point where I have basically given up on life entirely.
Yeah, because you made some bitch the center of your life and you had nothing of your own to do. So of course you feel empty. If you had your own life goals, ambitions, and objectives outside women, you wouldn't have this issue. You might feel a bit sad, sure, but you'd have shit that needs to be done whether a bitch is with you or not.
>The worst part is, she’s doing absolutely great. She’s following her dreams of being a theatre actress
Imagine where you'd be if you had shit like I just said?
>The best I got was a situationship that lasted a month before she ghosted me and started dating another guy. I feel so miserable, alone and unmotivated. I just want my old life back.
You aren't equipped to handle a real relationship until you get your own shit together. Find hobbies. Introspect and determine your own life goals. Get into the gym. Build your inner confidence and stop being a little pussy that needs a woman to "make you feel good" and make your fucking self feel good. Women are accessories to an already fulfilled life. NOT the thing that fulfills your life. You've learned that the hard way. So leave bitches alone until you get your shit together.

What'll really break your mind is when you realize the fact that you're like this (putting her in the center) is probably the main thing that pushed the ex away.

>>33576643
I did have a lot of goals and ambitions in life. I was going to EMT school to be a fire fighter, I used to creatively right in hopes of becoming an author one day. I still go to the gym so I have that, but I just feel really lonely and that dosent give me any motivation to move forward with my life, especially seeing how easily she replaced me. I’m afraid I’m never going to find another girlfriend and I’m going to spend the rest of my life alone. What’s the point in working towards a future that you’ll more than likely be lonely and depressed in? Feels like a giant waste of time. Feels like my end goal is to just live in a one bedroom apartment by myself while everybody else I know is having kids and getting married.

>>33576661
Didn't finish reading but
>I [DID] have a lot of goals and ambitions in life.
Irrelevant. Past tense. Means fuck all *now*.
>I just feel really lonely and that dosent give me any motivation to move forward with my life,
You should be your own best company. This is another way of not seeing your own value. If you don't have friends, you can make those. If you *need* a woman, you've already lost because it puts you at risk of...being in the exact position you're in. You need a happy life *without* a woman before you can add one as an accessory.
>especially seeing how easily she replaced me.
You devalued yourself over the past few years. You made it easy to *be* replaced in the first place.
>I’m afraid I’m never going to find another girlfriend and I’m going to spend the rest of my life alone.
You keep putting women in the center over and over. So of course you feel this way. Get the hint: you're not supposed to do that shit.
>What’s the point in working towards a future that you’ll more than likely be lonely and depressed in?
No, nigger. What's the point in working towards a future you haven't even imagined, set a course for, and are enthusiastic about because it's truly what *you* want to do? What's the point in moving forward if you don't have self derived confidence so no matter what happens, you have the drive to continue forward?
> Feels like my end goal is to just live in a one bedroom apartment by myself while everybody else I know is having kids and getting married.
Yeah, because you're wasting your time doing that instead of finding something productive to do: i.e. life goals.

>>33576661
Yeah I think you have to be a sociopath to fully believe what >>33576643 is saying. The human condition is to want to love and reproduce. Literally everything else is in service of this. You're lying to yourself if you think you can fill the void with "hobbies" or "life goals" that are not "having and supporting a loving family".

For your situation the problem is probably just that you need more opportunities to actually meet the women who are looking for you. Spend less time smoking and ruining your body and more time doing stuff you don't necessarily enjoy but that will at least connect you with other human beings. It sucks but the life you're already living sucks too, right?

>>33576715
>You're lying to yourself if you think you can fill the void with "hobbies" or "life goals" that are not "having and supporting a loving family".
I didn't say you shouldn't have those things. Stop projecting and start reading.
I said you shouldn't make a WOMAN the center of your life. They are fickle. They go where the wind blows. They're emotional. And that is not a stable foundation to center your life around. You simply center your own life around your goals and what you need to do, regardless of if a woman is with you or not. That's basic...yet most men don't do it. Once you have that, THEN you can add a woman to your life, taking care to put in reciprocal energy. And once she proves with her actions that she's worth being with for the long term, she can have that role. OP wouldn't feel so empty and depressed if he had done this properly, and you can't argue that.

Too many men put the cart before the horse, over-invest, play the "good guy" as if that really works, and project their idea of what a woman should be onto the woman they're with, but them are surprised when the woman "changes" or ends things.

>>33576715
>>33576682

Thank you. That guy has no idea what he’s talking about. He obviously has never had any trouble with women. We were literally put on this earth to find a woman and start a family. It’s our biological purpose. No matter how many ways you try to cope or make up for it, you will always have a void in your life. And I’m going by simple pattern recognizing that it’s far more likely than not that I won’t ever find a girl again. And it’s not from a lack of trying. I constantly get ghosted and rejected on dating apps. How am I supposed to give a shit about my future when I’m a total failure at the one reason I was put on this earth? Real men have no issue getting women. I’m a biological failure in more ways than once. But I’m just supposed to “put on my boot straps” and grind and work for a future I’ll be lonely and miserable in. How could anyone have any motivation to do that shit?

>>33576743
I stand corrected. You're right. The whole point of your existence is busting inside a womb. Nothing more, you insignificant, microscopic excuse for intelligent life past procreation. The universe agrees with your bullshit and so shall it be. It is done. Peace.

>>33576743
Dating apps are garbage. Think for a second. Is your future wife REALLY on a fucking dating app? The answer is no. She's probably sitting around feeling the same way you are but thinking "dating apps are terrible, I'm not even going to bother". Take all the emotional energy you've wasted on dating apps and hating your life and put it into doing real life shit where you're actually going to meet people and make friends. Again, yeah, that's very painful and difficult for people like us, but hey, think of it as a form of self-harm if you like.

>>33576781
>doing real life shit where you're actually going to meet people and make friends

How do I even do that. I’m 26 I’m too old just to go around and make friends. And people don’t even like me anyway. I quit my last job because I could tell all my coworkers didn’t like me at all, they probably talked shit behind my back all the time. Like I said I’m literally autistic, and people can sense that. That’s why nobody likes me, cause I’m not normal. I’m the sick animal of the tribe, and the sick animals are always left behind for not being normal and healthy like everybody else.

>>33576793
You wanted to be a writer at some point, why not look for opportunities around that? A lot of places have writers workshops or even just book clubs for anyone to join. Hell even just go to the bar and talk to whoever is there, it doesn't need to be a romantic interest, just get in more practice talking to people naturally, it's like a muscle that needs to be trained for people like us.

I know from being in the same position as you that the hardest part is pushing past the "it will be gay and lame and it won't make me feel any better and I won't meet anyone" feelings but once you do it genuinely does get easier.

>>33571992 (OP)
Put in the work then. Stop sitting around crying, depressed and find a woman who's better than her. What really gets em is when you get someone prettier. That'll really make her seethe. You have to find someone like her or better and it'll take your mind off the old girl completely. I was so obsessed with my ex then I met someone who kind of looked like her but better. Bigger tits, bigger ass, way prettier and I have to say as hurt as I was. I wouldn't trade the new one in for the old one.

Just like to add this. My ex, that dumped me 2 months ago. That literally called me a weird loser everytime I tried to contact her aftwerwords, tried to come back today. Texted me an told me her new bf did her way worse and now she see's life differently and wants to come back basically. I really shouldn't let her based on all the shit she said to me but I'm just saying this to say you never know what's gonna happen. That person you're broken over feels your pain whether they acknowledge it or say it or not and they may very well come back under the right set of circumstances so don't get so down in the dumps over it.

No one is perfect. We all live and learn. I've even broken up with girls then went back. Everyone's on their own journey. Stop overthinking it and being so emotional. Find something to stay busy and the person might just come back or you'll find someone better and forget all about them. Those are the only two options.

>>33576898
It’s been almost two years, she’s never coming back. I’ve more or less accepted that. I’ve been trying to find a new girlfriend but I just constantly get rejected or ghosted. I’ve had a few dates since then and they always end with her friend zoning me after the date. A couple times me and my date kissed but she becomes dry and distant after, and then just ghosts me. 95% of of my matches on bumble just ghost me, and the 5% that I actually get a date with just ends up ghosting me.

>>33571992 (OP)
she'll be back

>>33576967
No she won’t. She moved on a long time ago. I wasn’t good enough for her to stay. I’m worthless.

>>33572271
as i said, you don't have a woman problem, you have a stupidity problem.
you are a little bitch. i can tell.
when you are done being a whiny little baby and want to make changes, you can follow through with advice already given. until then, enjoy yourself.

>>33577059
Stop being a faggot. Your value doesn't come from this whore.

>>33577069
How am I being stupid at all? You didn’t disprove any point I just made. Name one thing I said in my post that isn’t true or warrants your response,

>>33577069
Stop arguing with a bitch that wants to continue being a bitch. She doesn't want advice. She wants her hand held while she whines.

>>33577080
His value *does* come from that whore because he keeps saying it does. God/Infinite intelligence loves him so much that it will allow the untrue to be true for him if he so believes. Let him.

>>33577121
Dude I’m more or less over my ex. I’m upset about the fact that I keep failing to get a new girlfriend. Constant rejections and ghostings makes me feel like total shit, especially when everybody I knew from highschool is getting married and having kids.

>>33577092
>How am I being stupid at all? You didn’t disprove any point I just made.
There is no solution to be found in fighting tooth and nail to prove the people who are going out of their way to try and help you wrong.

You: "Heeelp I have a probleeem and I have no hooope"
Random person taking what timme free time they have out of their day to help you, a random person: *Plenty of points to try and help you, even if they aren't 100% perfect*
You: "Here is THIS reason and THIS reason and THIS reason why you are WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!"
You (again): "Hooohohooo nobody understands meeee... my life suuucks and I'm miserabllle"

Holy FUCK you're self-sabotoging. You come here asking for ADVICE, we give you ADVICE, on the ADVICE board, and then you cross your arms and pout on your ass while saying there is no hope even though you've already fucking achieved a successful, long term relationship before.

Either get a therapist/counsellor or listen to us. Or don't. Either way, you're sad, depressed, and miserable, and on top of that you insulted and tried to "prove wrong" people who are trying to open their heart to you, just to help you, out of the kindness of their own hearts, like this is fucking debate club.

Either take into consideration at least some of what we have to say, or get a therapist/counsellor. Either way, until you can admit you're being more pessimistic and self-defeating than you deserve. Until you pick yourself up and become a go-getter who continues to try until they succeed no matter how many times you fail, you will never be happy.

>>33577214
You’re right. I just feel really dejected and unmotivated due to my failures with girls, especially considering everybody I knew/know has zero trouble, with many of them even getting married/engaged. I’m just deathly afraid I’ll be alone for the rest of my life, and being ghosted on dating apps kind of reinforces that feeling I have. I’m going to try to carry on and just continue my responsibilities and finish school and stuff, I just feel extremely unmotivated and depressed. It sucks because when I’m talking to a girl, I feel great, happy and confident. And then something goes wrong and I get in my head thinking what did I do wrong. It just makes me feel abnormal when all other guys have no issue getting girls.

I guess I’ll just buckle down and trudge along. I appreciate everybody’s advice in this thread. I pray that I’ll find a girlfriend soon.

>>33572133
>Who knows what's around thdkmhyk
>e corner?
Bro's phone fell on his face and he continued like nothing happened

>>33577233
Bless you dude. I'm the same. What I did is after 10 months on 6 dating apps and 0 dates, I deleted all of my apps, and I decided that I'm going to spec into IRL full on. So I thought about hobbies where I could meet and interact with and be around girls. And now I dance bachata. And already there's a girl who's constantly around me and talking to me and I'm going to ask her out next week, just for a walk not for a date. And I've joined a choir and today I'm starting it, finally. Bachata is all about dancing with women, last lesson I danced with like 15 ladies, it was awesome. And I went to a Latin dance party where they dance bachata and salsa and it was freaking insane. Like, the energy was so good. People are definitely getting laid. And two ladies were eye fucking me to ask them to dance because there's more girls than men at those events apparently, but I felt like I wouldn't respect them by dancing with them since I only have 2 hours of experience hahaha
But I see this as a great opportunity for the future.
Additionally I want to join an acting group. All of these activities scare the fuck out of me and I'm constantly in stress. But after I do them I feel a huge confidence boost followed by a crash out. It's insane. In any case I recommend you let go of all of your inhibitions and fear and go become an expressive and free guy, that's what I'm doing now, and it's changing me for sure. I feel like I will get a gf if I continue doing this.

>>33571992 (OP)
>everything men do is for pussy
There are so many people on the on self improvement train the past two decades it's unreal, and I'm not talking about gym because many of them don't even hit the gym but instead do other activities, I'm talking about making money, being social, doing activities, hobbies, just keeping busy in general and making their life as interesting as possible to attract pussy. They are doing all that for pussy, constantly chasing a better looking pussy, younger, fresher, etc. until eventually they find one they are satisfied with so they can fertilize it but even then many of them continue to chase pussy on the side. Some of these boomers are 70+ and still chase pussy, that's right many divorced boomers have girlfriends, just look at that tremendous Eastwood faggot who found a new pussy at 70 or 80 and married for the 6th time. Not to mention famous chads like Julio Iglesias who had thousands of pussies throughout his life.
All that self-improvement, customs, social mores, hobbies, cultural events and other activities people do is to attract pussy so they can breed the next generation of goyim cattle and feel desired, loved and appreciated by their pussy and progeny.

>>33571992 (OP)
>The worst part is, she’s doing absolutely great
don't fool yourself bro and don't mind it either. sometimes people who shows that life is so fucking great are just having some problems idunno.
>I’ve tried to replace her
find more friends instead of some gf
>partially due to addiction
try to visit rehabilitation center in this case if the problem is really fucking serious

>>33577658
this pasta again, ugh.
meanwhile you just KNOW the poster is on a loop checking reddit > 4chan > dating apps > instagram > youtube shorts > snapchat and not actually getting anything done other than playing video games and cumming

you're just like the rest of us, you're just ignoring what you really want to do that's why you're virtue signaling by hating on the things you wish you were doing yourself. You're not better than anyone else by staying in your lane and keeping out of the gene pool, in fact you're killing yourself off faster than the rest of us, nerd.