Thread 33575599

She's from my bachata class, she's been interested in me, always being nice and talking to me, I don't want to mistake being nice for having interest but I want to ask her to go on a walk to see if she'll say yes. That's quite a big indicator that she likes me if she says yes right? Girls don't just say yes to 1 on 1 meetup with a guy in 2025 without it meaning something right? Like basically that she is giving me the green light for like a soft date, or getting to know each other type of situation. What do you think?

>>33575599 (OP)
>She's from my bachata class
absolutely cringe that euros do this

Bro the difference between a bachata class and a striptease club is that u both have to dance like escorts. I mean, its a fucking bachata class. Dont u literally go there to fuck women and to fuck even more in the future?

>>33575650
We call it socialize, and it sometimes results in sex or relationships. But I try to avoid approaching it from a sex starved perspective (like calling it escorts), when you actually go to the class what you are doing is you dance with a bunch of women in a safe space. And you'll soon find out that just because you're touching a bunch of women doesn't mean you're entitled to sex, which is why I'm debating if I should go for this. I just don't want to make her uncomfortable because we still have 9 weeks of class to go, but I was thinking after last time I saw her I felt like this feeling that I'm missing out on obvious signs, and now I've been anxious all week. So my plan is that when I see her next time I say "hey I was thinking about asking you last week but forgot, do you want to go for a walk together?" Just like that. I think it is harmless enough that even if she says no, we're good right?
I've just never asked a girl out and I just have no fucking idea if I'm doing the right thing and that's why I'm asking these questions. And yeah I had a gf before but it started online, this is my first time trying to start something IRL so I need real life advice, thanks for taking the time to reply

>>33575698
Its not about touching another human being who casually has a vagina, i dont mean that. I mean, man, its bachata.
What i was saying is, that dance style between men and women is often used to end up in bed. Why would her be incomfortable? If she is she will told u and u will act normal again, but anyways u said she was interested in u so man, in my opinion, go for it

>>33575718
Cheers dude, I really appreciate it. I guess I just need confirmation to know that it's okay to do this.
Because I'm afraid that things will turn awkward between us, but I really hope they won't.
I also don't think she'll say straight up no even if she's not interested
Also I'll be super surprised but sad to find out that she has a bf if she tells me that

>>33575599 (OP)
My god that girls hot

>>33575599 (OP)
No. You can't tell what she wants unless you directly ask. I've been burned too many times going on dinners just to be friendzoned

>>33575650
>Dont u literally go there to fuck women and to fuck even more in the future?
Are there actually dance classes like this in Europe? Man I wish I was European

>>33575599 (OP)
>Should I ask this girl out
Didn't read. The answer is no. If you have to resort to asking people on the internet if you should, you've already failed. Where's your backbone? What's the worst that could happen? She says no? Exactly. But you're overthinking. Stop being a punk and actually do things. Peace.

>>33575599 (OP)
>>33575752
Ok so right now op is only going to ask for a walk. But then what? You need to ask for a date to make your intentions clear (isnt that how it works? Idk). Are you gonna do that OP?

>>33575599 (OP)
>she's been interested in me, always being nice and talking to me, I don't want to mistake being nice for having interest
You're contradicting yourself here.

>>33575599 (OP)
You've got the right instinct - a kind of non-date date, which could be just two pals hanging out, is a good way to start.

>>33576941
Hey, OP here, so I was thinking about it the way this anon said >>33577210 that we're gonna go hang out as buddies. I don't really have the balls to ask for a date, plus I'm scared to be too intense too early if I phrase it like that. I want to believe that good relationships start from friendships so in the vein of that, I feel like I don't have to give it a twist of a date right off the get go and just go on a walk. I don't know what happens after the smoke screen, it's kind of like a dark souls/elden ring golden shimmer, you don't know what's on the other side but it's most likely a boss. I had nothing that started from IRL so far like I said, but what I'm trying to follow is the belief that magnetism and attraction is real, and that if this girl actually likes me, then I won't need to do much in order to progress the relationship. So asking for a walk is already a huge step I think. I don't think she came to Bachata just to dance, she probably also has wishes of meeting a hot guy to have a relationship with, and so like I don't think it has to be said that I'm asking her out for a date yet, I think if she says yes it's good and if on the walk things are going well then I'll bring up relationships. Do you agree with my method or do you have something to say about it?

>>33576499
Yes there's so freaking many all across the Netherlands, literally in every city.
I'm going to assume you're American, and so just so you know - salsa was developed in LA, and bachata fusion was also cultivated in LA even though it's originally a Latin dance. Also, our teacher has a degree from a dance college in LA xD so actually you do have dance classes like that in the US, probably at larger distances than here (I literally walk 15 minutes from my house) but you can find it I'm sure!

>>33576632
Thank you man. I'm a dirty dirty overthinker and I hate that I'm like this. But I'm going to do it. The worst she could say actually is "yes, but I'm very busy" and always delay it

>>33577678
>Do you agree with my method or do you have something to say about it?
I'm just like you and I honestly don't know what to do. I'm worried that she will be too shy, or too used to men making the first move. So if I never directly ask for a date to make my intentions clear then nothing could ever happen. But we don't really know each other yet and I'm scared that asking for a date would feel rushed.
I think just hanging out as friends first sounds good with no pressure. Maybe I should do that too.

>things are going well then I'll bring up relationships
I plan to do the same haha. But then what? What's the next move? Are you gonna try to ask for a date then? (The reason why i'm so focused on asking for a date is because I don't believe in hints anymore lol)

>>33577731
>I think just hanging out as friends first sounds good with no pressure. Maybe I should do that too.
hey man, thanks for taking the time to reply.
I think that we are on the right path. It's just too much to ask for a date right now. I've only seen her and danced with her for 2 lessons, I would say our trust level is pretty high. And so I feel like she would say yes to a walk. But I don't want to be that guy who she met at dance class and IMMEDIATELY sperged out and asked for a date. So I totally understand where you're coming from too.

>I plan to do the same haha. But then what? What's the next move?
I'm just as blind as you are like I said, but I'll share with you my best guess
So to continue from last point and reply to this as well, I think that the acceptance of a 1 on 1 activity with you is, by unspoken society rules - a sign of interest.
It's a committance of time. she has to get ready, you have to get ready, you have to travel to wherever you're meeting at, you hang out with each other. You're giving time to one another.
I'm inclined to believe that people don't give their time to people that aren't interesting to them or people that they don't think will lead to some nice interactions / experiences. So the fact that she says yes to me - is like, for me, a huge sign that she wants to be around me.

xDD I fucking love this question man. I know exactly what you're going through and how you feel like, desu I try not to worry about it too much, because the "yes" and then actually scheduling a time to meet and actually meeting and not flaking on me is the most important part for me.
But I'll speculate with you in the next post
1/2

>>33577731
>>33577773

2/2


So in this scenario she said yes and we've met. I believe that what a lot of people call "energy" is just, the magnetism between people, their willingness to connect, you can see it outwardly for example in a festival, everyone's friendly af. They come there with the social channel open, no one comes there and then closes off, unless they came with friends who dragged them there.

So in the vein of that, I'm gonna meet her with the intent of having a good time, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing because I don't flirt. I never really flirted. I had a gf before but like I said it started online, I don't know how to start things IRL.
With risk of sounding gay I'm gonna say, you know how in nature Its like, males do all this shit for the female and then the female chooses them. So in a way I'm kinda doing that but like a very light version of it. I'm just going to meet her, with the goal of getting to know her and yapping off as much as possible. I think that reciprocity is a huge thing. I think that if she's interested in me, but also scared to say something (which I assume she is, and I assume you are too), then we'll just keep hanging out.. keep getting more comfortable with each other. Continue continue continue until.. one of us gets comfortable enough to talk about deeper topics.
I really like, I'm keeping this vague on purpose. I'm OKAY with the walk being vague and not planned out.
Because I kinda see it like, I got the ticket. Now I just need to attend the concert, and based on the energies and how things go, I'll FEEL what I should be doing.

2/3

>>33577731
>>33577773
>>33577797

3/3


also re-reading your post it sounds like you're hinting that you're actually a girl, in that case I wanna say the advice remains the same. I am a scared PERSON, not only a man. In terms of asking people out I have an attitude that is closer to girls attitudes, meaning I don't really want to do it, I want things to just happen.
I think that unspoken actions and bonds are okay - the acceptance of the 1 on 1 is an admission of interest in me. If she accepts it, then I can worry about what happens next. But first she has to accept it.. I'm so freaking anxious anon... please tell me Its gonna be okay..
but yeah besides this, every gf I've had has made it extremely easy on me, so I think this should be one of those cases. I don't know. I just, there's no guidebook to these things. Every person is different. But what is universal is that if you hang out around a female 1 on 1 enough and you feel the energy is good and you're a guy, I think things will happen. I really hope that I'm right, but what I'm saying FEELS right. Anyway long reply. Thanks for reading.

>>33577804
>hinting that you're actually a girl,
>hinting
see, this is why I don't believe in hints xd I'm a guy just like you
I hope she says yes when you ask her to go for a walk with you. I like your energy. Just keep that energy and don't overthink.
add me on discord, i need to know what happens next when you guys meet again lol
marco00374

>>33577858
Thank you so much man, I hope so too. I just really feel like it could happen, I'm more on the side of - it will happen. But at the same time, I also have these thoughts like, it could also not happen. It could also just be that she is being friendly and having fun in class, which is why we came there in the first place. ugh. I hate. hate. hate the anxiety and I hate the not knowing and I hate the fact that I have to ask I just hate it so freaking much I don't want to do it but at the same time nothing comes fucking easy.
So yeah xD though I rarely use discord I will add you soon and keep u updated, thanks a lot!

>>33577678
>if on the walk things are going well then I'll bring up relationships.
Too big a jump. If the walk goes well,

"This was fun. Want to have dinner sometime?"
"This was fun. You mentioned that you like [movie star]. Want to go see their new film this weekend?"

>>33578450
that's good advice.
I wasn't clear, I didn't mean that I'll say "hey lets be in a relationship" I meant it more like, if she doesn't ask me about my ex already at that point then I'll ask her if she's single (because I don't know that yet, I'm 99% sure she's single but you can never be sure until you ask right)

thanks so much for the suggestion, I think that's a good one. Just get another hangout planned before that one ends. god. I'm so anxious man :( I really just want to get to Monday and see what happens already, I keep overthinking like an idiot.
Now my most recent phrase is:
"Also I was thinking about asking you last week but I forgot, um, if you want to go for a walk together?"
I'm so scared Its unbelievable
give me power bros

>>33575599 (OP)
D O I T
O
I
T

>>33577678
>salsa was developed in LA
lol? it was created between puerto rico and nyc
also you're overly nervous and will fuck up

>>33575650
How the fuck are "bachata classes" supposed to work? Are they all aerobics shit for grannies dancing alone facing a faggot, or do you dance with a partner? If it's dancing with a partner, do they rotate your partner? If you're ugly I bet you get stuck with the ugliest chick, and the hot ones are closed off to people they know.

It's the same fucking story everywhere, I should go full Toulouse Lautrec at this point.

>>33578805
Bachata is always with a partner, a man and a woman. In my class we rotate all the partners, last session I danced with almost everyone, about 15 ladies. Some are hot, some are less, some are young, some are old, everyone comes.
At the end of the day even if you don't find anyone in the class - you start going to Latin nights and Latin dance parties and festivals, and there you can meet plenty of ladies. All is good in love and war

>>33578530
Will do

>>33578774
Going to get to not lose my shit.
I doubt the thread will still be up by then.
But I'll update with another thread if this actually succeeded

>>33579088
Dominican bachata looked cool, the modern versions look lame desu. They are easier for fats though.
https://youtu.be/WRWU2-djFPQ?t=39

>>33575599 (OP)
It was my 19th birthday
I went to pick up a girl at her high school (she was 18)
She told me "I changed in the teachers' restroom so I could wear these (pic)"
Long walk to the park
maybe we had a beer, I'm not sure
We lay on the grass
I try to kiss her
"Oh...no...I did not realize...I did not know..."

Still haunts me to this day. It was 15 years ago or something

That said, go for it

>>33575599 (OP)
Got my ex that same Teddiursa squishmellow, God I miss her