Thread 33575744

>dating for almost a year
>both virgins
>finally getting around to sex
>feel scared of having it
>finally given the opportunity
>couldn't get it up
is this a product of being scared of women? a result of porn? a subconscious dislike for her? has anyone else felt this before?

i feel like she deserves the world, someone i truly truly care about. i dont think i have the mental capacity to have sex as of right now. am i broken? is there some mental block? has anyone else had this experience?

>>33575744 (OP)
idk, when i lost mine at 22 it got up just from the kissing before anything happened
many things including mental issues can cause boner issues.
maybe get viagra for next time just in case.

>>33575744 (OP)
I heard that being nervous kills boners so it's probably that. Next time try to relax a little anon, it’s your first time so have no shame to be bad at it.

>>33575744 (OP)

That's completely normal, your 1st performance will always be your worst.

>>33575744 (OP)
you are just not comfortable yet anon

>>33575744 (OP)
Porn is definitely a big factor. Also the fact that you waited far too long and built it up into some massive, vastly significant thing in your mind. The first time you have sex is always bad, and if it's with another virgin it will be incredibly bad and continue to be incredibly bad for months. You both need to accept that it's going to be terrible and start practising together so that it (eventually) gets better. Keep a sense of humour about it, and remember that the only aim at this point is to learn and improve.

But also, give up porn completely and forever. You need to retrain your brain to respond to sex instead of to porn.

>>33575744 (OP)
>Stay a virgin
>Watch porn

This is like going on a diet and not eating fast food, then going home and chugging fryer grease.

You minimize the natural incentive while maintaining an artificial (and more powerful) one that is completely disconnected from the entire reward structure (your gf).

I don't know who told you porn was ok to watch, but it's almost as bad as if you slept around with an equal number of women as you watch porn and jerk off.

Basically no point in having "saved yourself" for your partner if you never really saved yourself for her in the first place.

Good luck fixing this, OP, but try to be aware of hypocrisy in the future so you don't end up shooting yourself in the foot.

God bless.

Having premarital sex will make you lose all respect for her, and your subconscious knows that.