Thread 33610300

I got married last month after dating for 3 years and I really love my wife, but I love my parents also and recently we've been having issues.

I make some decent money, thanks to my parents paying for medschool, but now they're struggling a lot financially and I've been trying to pay for the wedding, which I've paid the most for, with my fiance and her parents only helping, but not that much, and I'm also supporting my parents with a little bit of money every month, about 20% of what I make goes to them, while most of what's left has gone to the wedding, I haven't been able to save much and most of our saved money is from my wife, though she was laid off a few months ago and that saved money keeps going down. My parents own a store and sales have been awful, my sister who lives with us has also helped, but I'm the one that helps the most to try to keep things afloat, but recently my wife's been anxious over money and how we can afford to pay off the last fees to our suppliers, and she wants me to stop sending my parents money.

I get her point, we have to focus on saving for a home, which is expensive, my car is breaking down so I'll have to get a new one eventually too, and my closest family now is her and the kids we'll have, even though she knows this is a difficult topic because while I'm willing to have kids with her, because she wants it so much, I'm against it. Anyways, we need to focus on our finances and I can't really support my parents forever, it's simply not viable.

(1/2)

>>33610300 (OP)
On the other hand, my parents have given me everything, way more than she did, the only reason I make good money in the first place is because of the medschool they did their best to pay for, I don't want to be ungrateful and leave them to their fate to focus on my wife even though they've given their all for me so far while she still hasn't really given me much, don't get me wrong, I love her, wouldn't marry her otherwise, but my parents do love me more.

It's rough, especially because my parents aren't Catholics and we're having a Catholic wedding, that I'm paying for, against my family's wishes, because I wanted to give her the wedding of her dreams, it's also what her strict Catholic family wanted, and they're really well off, I've been arguing that they should be paying for most of the wedding and not me, but she argues that them helping so I can help my parents is just them paying my parents, but with extra steps, and I get her point, I just find this unfair. I'm really sad about this today, because yesterday she went out with some common friends of ours, without me, to vent about this, about me and my family, though the last time I vented to friends about issues I had she was upset and treated me pretty badly. We talked about it more today, and I felt like she was giving me an ultimatum, but not explicit, she told me she "doesn't want this for her life."

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I wish I could both help my parents and afford everything I need, I'm trying to make more money, but it's hard.

(2/2)

Explain to her it's only temporary because of the wedding. Saving gets easier afterwards and she won't have to worry a bit, but helping your parents isn't negotiable right now

>>33610300 (OP)
A wedding is, in theory, a one-time event. If it means a lot to you, stretch your finances to cover it. Once it's over you'll have all that freed-up cash flow to get back on a better footing.

>>33610300 (OP)
wife you retard, your parents are oldheads, more potential in the youthful