Thread 33620735

Just turned 24. I have many things I want to do. I have goals, I have a social circle, a girlfriend, things to look forward to. And yet.... I can't act. The slightest uncomfortable thing, such as working for an hour, reading something important, saying "stop" and going to bed instead of launching that LoL game... I just can't do it. I know what it makes me miss out on. I know it puts my career in jeopardy, I know I will regret long term not going to the gym every single time, I know I will regret the very next day that I'm going to bed super late.... Yet I just CANT do otherwise. I feel like I have no agency of my own. What is wrong with me? It's like I'm a child and will simply NOT do what I don't immediately want to do in the moment. If I try to stop that bullshit and do it anyway I will be hit with an extremely uncomfortable feeling inside me and massive brain fog. I know most people know about "procrastination" but they can still actually get things done or at least hold down a sleep schedule for example. Meanwhile I can only go to bed when I'm utterly exhausted because going before that point, I just can't. Which results in me sleeping later and later and waking up around 6-8pm (!). Please help. Sometimes I kick myself in the ass and get a normal sleep schedule going again, but after two days of it I'll just.... play all night or something and refuse to go to bed fully knowing that it'll destroy my sleep schedule again and yet I just CANT do otherwise. I have no idea if anyone has ever had this and beat it. I really need help bros, my youth is flying by and I'm just doing nothing, and yet I'm fully aware of what I need to do. Yet I just don't want to do it, and so I just won't...

>>33620735 (OP)
Think of how dopamine-fueled habits work in the brain:
Every time you give into a habit, it’s like water flowing through a dirt canal. The water is you funneling your time and attention to a certain thing. The canal is the behavior-reward circuit in your brain. The more water flows through it, the wider and deeper the canal becomes, and the more easily the water flows through it.
Going cold turkey on your dopamine driven habits is like putting up a dam - all the rewards pool up and you can choose where to re-route your daily amount of feel-good juice into something that’s more fulfilling. IMO long term projects that aren’t just instant gratification provide a deeper, more fulfilling sense of accomplishment than just quick bursts that come from being on internet or video games.

What would you like to replace your bad habits with?
Will you spend your daily ration of neural chucky cheese tokens on shitty cheap prizes, or are you going to save them up for the badass top shelf prizes?

>>33620779
Thing is, I know all this. But when it's 2am and I've had a great day/night (or a shitty one), I just.... don't want it to end. By going to bed, I just suddenly do something really boring and I can physically feel it inside. It's a very uncomfortable feeling, hard to explain. Then I'll just lay there really excited to reach the point where I convince myself I won't be able to fall asleep so I might as well get up and resume what I was doing.
Same if I'm just randomly listening to music while reading something during the day and then decide to do some work for school. I'll start and it'll be so boring it physically pains me. I'll have massive brain fog, won't be able to focus, I will feel really bad and inevitably I will just stop. After a couple years I just know exactly what will happen so I don't even bother trying anymore to stop and do the uncomfortable thing. I just wait till the last possible moment and do it.

>>33620735 (OP)
Ritalin. Thank me later.

>>33620818
Maybe you have ADHD
Ever been tested?
Adderall is magical and makes homework and chores as fun as video games.
I learned Japanese by studying obsessively for three years while on it
Before I used to have crippling motivation and executive function issues

>>33620735 (OP)
go cold turkey.
I had a problem with my smartphone for years, I noticed I was stuck on my smartphone alot so I got myself a dumbphone. after a week I no longer clawed after my phone when siting on the shiter or engrossed in reading stupid shit I dont need to know while outside and instead took in the world around me.
disassemble the omputer
if you need a computer get a real bad one that can't run the game.

>>33620903
more.
this isn't a problem of just self control.
after getting a smartphone again after 2 years I noticed I dint enjoy the outside as much as I used to while on the dumbphone. the fact that I just HAD the smartphone on me made me distracted and trying to reject the urge to use it ruined my enjoyment of the outside

>>33620824
>>33620841
Even if I had ADHD I don't want to take medication ever. I'm looking for ways to correct this on my own.

>>33620903
I've thought of getting a dumbphone but honestly the computer would still kill me. You can take my video games all you want but if you give me access to the internet it's over.

>>33620954
Maybe you were not raised to have any discipline. Some parents are like that with their children.

> I'm looking for ways to correct this on my own.
If that was possible, you would have done it by now. Even in your original post, you claim to not be able to make yourself do anything. The discipline must be imposed on you against your own will.

You have servers adhd and maybe a touch of autism. Either you force yourself to find a way to make this superpower work for you l, die trying, or consider getting diagnosed and taking medicine that will bring you a more “normal” living experience like how you seem to be longing for, instead of this ADHD autismo hellscape. Im also ADHD and autistic but I refuse to take meds, I use to be just like you and was a complete dopamine addict who didn’t work or want to do anything besides cum and play video games, eventually you need to break through and work towards something more. Most men SHOULD hit 25 and decide to get a fucking move on and search for fulfillment . It took me a while but now I’m able to find a balance between the things I don’t necessarily want to do, but have to do, and the things I just really want to do. It’s never easy though, you’re living life on the wonky path.

>>33621048
So how do you rawdog this without meds?

>>33620954
i have a family cottage that there aren't any wifi, and with a dumbphone no 4g internet either. Theres a tv with USB input, I downloaded movies and spent a week there, drawing, writing poems and making rules for a tabletop rpg. these are thing I would NEVER do at home, and I think it was because I didn't have internet. try to get in a similar situation for a week, after 2 days you will stop clawing for a computer and start figuring out things to entertain yourself. do it at home, unplug your router and hide the cable at someone else's house, if it disappears just buy a new one, again get some movies locally tough

>>33620735 (OP)
Anon, you're literally me, it's scare how accurate is your situation with mine. The differences are I'm 26 yo (joever) and instead of vidya, mine is TV and YT.
I know why, not only procrastination and anxiety, going late to bed (despite being terrible) gives me an addictive sense of escapism while watching something.

>>33620735 (OP)
I won't read lack of volition threads because, almost by definition, OP won't follow any advice given.