Thread 33622073

In your own words, what does falling in love feel like to you? How do you know there's a connection, a spark, a vibe?

love doesnt exist

thank me later

>>33622073 (OP)
feels like a loss of agency. its always one-sided so there is no spark, connection nor vibe. just a lost ability to control my thoughts

>>33622073 (OP)
First sight, like a bolt of lightning hit me. Thinking, “…wow.” just at that sight of him.
Feeling extremely nervous but excited when he also showed interest in me.
Developed into a crush because I admired his character and attitude, especially in his work.
He made a comment that was flirtatious but also sweet one day.
Wasn’t entirely sure he felt more than attraction but gave him my number.
It didn’t work out, but while we knew each other - it was a mixture of feeling an intense irrational desire/happiness (honeymoon phase) and also the feeling of … wanting to take care of him. Just spending time with him, getting to know his habits and thoughts. Feeling a desire to be better with him, to have a good life together, to build something where we came home together. Being aware of his faults and flaws and balancing being understanding without enabling shitty behavior.

This board really doesn’t believe in the idea/experience of deep abiding love or loyalty especially in regards to male/female romance. And it is rare, but it happens.

>>33622073 (OP)
falling in love is like a constant sense of desperation
you're desperate for her to like you back
your're desperate to be with her at all moments of the day
you're desperate to know what does she think about you
you're desperate to know if this will last
IDK in general it feels like it's all urgent, I guess it's nature's way to make us procreate faster or something, but it feels very desperate.
of course as you grow older you learn to not behave like a desperate motherfucker even if you're feeling desperate inside.
when she likes you back and the feelings are mutual omg, it's like a rollercoaster of dopamines, you're on cloud nine you feel like you've achieved end game content with the best gear or some other analogy of complete bliss and sense of completion.
I fell in love recently but she doesn't like me back lol, so desperation mode only it was.
I'm slowly falling back to just seeing her as pretty and having a good time next to her because that's all she wants but I'm still deeply sad inside she doesn't want something else.

>>33622163
yeah, I’d agree with this experience. Sorry you’re going through it anon. Hope it all works out okay, that the heartbreak isn’t too damaging.

Related to this, how to you interpret the distinction people like to make re: infatuation/“limerence” vs. love? The idea that love is only genuine once it’s passed through the honeymoon stage and gone through the trials of a relationship becoming more committed?

I got told a lot that what I felt wasn’t genuine because it was short lived, so I’m asking for myself truthfully.

>>33622184
I think infatuation is when you don't know the person and love is everything else.
young fresh love is immediate, it's instantaneous, it's chemical mostly and it's short lived but I wouldn't not call it love. I've felt heartbroken after a short love didn't work out, of course not as much as when a relationship of years falls apart but... not by much if I have to be honest, at least in the intensity of the pain, not the duration of said pain.
the other love, the one that is born of knowing better the person and knowing you wanna stick with them after all is a bit more pure and more cerebral, more emotional instead of instinctual but it's still love.
Thing is people don't like those two compared because they feel it cheapens one but I don't see it that way. Also, disregarding the vastness of the human brain, in behavior both are pretty much the same, you both kiss a lot, you both wanna spend time together, you both wanna make love and stuff, an external observer might look at both the same.

idk, i never fell in love

>>33622201
I appreciate that explanation a lot. It’s helpful to have some perspective and validation that it is a different level of connection/desire, without being totally disregarded for feeling broken up about it.

Shit sucks lol. God bless ya man.

>>33622073 (OP)
>what does falling in love feel like to you?
when this happened to me, I was enjoying life with my hobbies. I found when I did fall in love with a beautiful girl, it became inexorably apparent that those hobbies no longer held the same importance in my every day life. Texting people meant less like basic communication to set up meetings- it became a direct line of connection to the most important person in the world to you at that moment.
>>33622163
its kind of like this. Before you go to bed, you are so worried about their safety that you cannot relax until you are given reprieve that she is okay and safe at home. You cannot haphazardly make plans to attend events because you might want her to accompany you or make completely different plans with you together instead. It sucks up a great part of your life.

>>33622163
>I'm slowly falling back to just seeing her as pretty and having a good time next to her because that's all she wants but I'm still deeply sad inside she doesn't want something else.

Same bro, it's forcing me to put myself out in the dating world and I absolutely hate modern dating so it's fucking tiresome. Wish that I was gay sometimes lol.

>>33622073 (OP)
You can feel that person as intimately as you can feel your own experience, the deeper the connection, the more pronounced that feeling becomes, to the point where I imagine many people become inseparable spiritually.
I felt it once, faintly, for somebody I knew a long time ago, and I fucked it up because I didn't know how to handle my emotions back then.
Losing that feeling, you'll go to great lengths and drive yourself mad, heave all kinds of destruction on yourself, and in the end achieve nothing.
Maybe the feeling isn't mutual, in which case everything is fake, and then there really isn't anything worth giving a damn about in the first place.
So I guess just believe whatever works for you.

>>33622073 (OP)
you want to wake up in the morning

moids do not feel love, and if a moid reveals its true self you will not feel love for it

>>33622073 (OP)
It's mostly just superficial fascination that turns into obsession. Eventually the novelty wears off and you realize you have to deal with this person every day, including their imperfections and things that you don't like about them.

Real love is being with them for years and accepting all of those things even after the initial thrill of the chase wears off.

>>33622321
I've heard gay people have it worse, they rarely feel authentic love, most of the times it's just horniness, they are very hard to commit because easy sex is all around them.

>>33623554
Where are you from? I met a girl. When she stares at me I literally feel her soul enter mine. She lives far away from me, we are no contact long distance. If I cant have that eye contact in an intimate relationship, then I don't want it at this point.

It's just a friendship that slowly escalates into a euphoric trip.
You're warm and dizzy and have butterflies just from talking with them or thinking about them. And if you aren't with them you're thinking about them. You can't concentrate on your hobbies, you don't feel hunger, you just lie paralyzed and feel like you're floating. Sometimes it feels so good you don't even want to talk to them. You don't want or need anything in the world, you're fine just the way you are and you don't want anything to change.