Thread 33641208

I've observed my work crush's toilet break schedule, and now I'm confident I can "accidentally" bump into her in the hallway. But what should I say? I haven't talked to her before, I don't know her name, and I'm not even sure she speaks my language.

Say "taking another piss are we? Wanna piss in my mouth haha"

>But what should I say?

"Hi, I've been tracking when you got for a shit, would you like to choke on my balls?"

Not OP but this is actually how I feel about engaging with a lot of women I happen to like now. I feel like I sort of have to "generate" the engagement or encounter. It never happens naturally because of how society is I guess. Like I have to watch and see that she enters this door at this time and I conveniently have to be positioned by the door to say hi and maybe have a conversation. I hate doing this because the encounter is fabricated. Is there any way around doing this though? What if you like a woman but you would never encounter her naturally? op is a fucking psycho btw. I'd never go that far.

>>33641208 (OP)
Hope it comes out okay in there <3

>>33641208 (OP)

Why tf is this new address I'm living at IP banned from making original posts. Testing to see if this goes through

>>33641239
>>33641252
>>33641284
Please, serious answers only. So far, my plan is to ask her name and enquire about her language skills. And if it goes well, during the afternoon break, I will walk up to her and offer her a muffin I baked. That should be enough to break the ice.
>>33641269
You are right. But you are also misjudging me, as I am actually being very considerate by approaching her in the open, rather than cornering her at her desk.

>>33641436
Sorry, go up to her in the hallway and then blow you brains out all over her.

>>33641436
>I am actually being very considerate by approaching her in the open, rather than cornering her at her desk.
This you?

>>33641436
Okay here’s one I’m thinking. Bake some muffins for the break room and offer her one. If she says no then just let her know that they’ll be in there. This gives you the in to introduce yourself and you can start casually greeting her when you see her. If you only bake one specifically for her she might get weirded out. If she doesn’t speak English you can get one of the translate apps with a speaker and it’ll translate the conversation back and forth when you speak into it. I use it pretty frequently in customer service and it works pretty well.

>>33641816
Yes, that is exactly what I am trying to avoid.
>>33642041
>If you only bake one specifically for her she might get weirded out.
I baked the muffins for myself, as I do every week. Only if I manage to strike up a conversation with her will I offer her one during the afternoon break that day. She spends that break at her desk while others are out smoking, so that gives me more time and privacy with her.
>you can get one of the translate apps with a speaker
Thanks for the tip, but I speak Czech and she speaks some flavor of Russian. I know some words and how the language sounds in general, so I should be able to wing it, at least in the short term. Plus, if I cannot make a good impression myself, a text-to-speech will not help me.

>>33641208 (OP)
>UPDATE 1
I was about 30 seconds early. If it were not raining, and she did not have to put on a hoodie, it would have worked. The tricky part is that I work here, and she works there, but the men's restrooms are there, and the women's restrooms are here. To make it natural, we have to walk in the same direction. So I actually have to walk to the restrooms, then walk back, and time it so that I walk by her desk just as she is leaving, plus or minus a few seconds to realistically catch up to her/let her catch up to me.
Anyway, another chance in about an hour. Wish me luck.

>>33643668
Go by the tier system:
Look at pic related and compare to my notes:

Iceberg:
1: Stranger
2: Good stranger
3: Nice person
4: Acquiantence
5: Good Acquiantence
6: Buddy
7: Friend
8: Good friend
9: Best friend
10: Bro/Sis
11: Cat/Dog
12: Girl I had a fling with
13: Girl who is a FWB
14: Girlfriend
15: Long term girlfriend
16: Engaged girlfriend
17: Wife
18: Long term Wife
19: Wife who will never divorce me.

Each level takes more digging deeply than the next one. Jumping levels is foolish. If you want to know a girl likes you she will try everything possible to dig deeper at these levels.

>>33641208 (OP)
>I've observed my work crush's toilet break schedule,
That is very, very, VERY creepy.

>>33641816
This is exactly how op views himself, which is why he is resorting to stalker lite scenarios so he doesn't remind himself of a webcomic when he fucks it up.

Just fucking talk to the woman you autist.

>I've observed my work crush's toilet break schedule, and now I'm confident I can "accidentally" bump into her in the hallway.
Whenever I feel insecure or generally uncertain about myself, /adv/ never fails to put things into perspective.
I hope you can do better, OP.

>>33643800
>UPDATE 2
Though not as a result of my cunning plan, I managed to talk to her at the end of the shift. Let me just say it could have gone better. As I feared, she does not speak a word of Czech or English. In fact, she does not speak much in general and neither do I, so I did not even get her name. That was my first question, and she hit me with the "I don't understand" straight away. On the other hand, it was not super awkward, so I think I will move on and stick with my original plan. And there is a slim chance that today's situation can repeat tomorrow. Never lose hope.

>>33644653
>As I feared, she does not speak a word of Czech or English.
Yeah I know there's no chicks on 4chan but in theory if there were, they're probably trying to use Google Translate to figure out how to say "I only speak Belarusian" in Belarusian to get away from dudes.
I was going to suggest since OP is all about the rest room schedule, informing her the mens room is out of TP and asking her to fetch a roll of TP from the ladies room "oh and if its not a problem could you write your phone number on the roll of TP" its so insane she might laugh and do it, I've been successful with crazier stuff. Its a bad plan, but not any worse than OPs plan.

Only do it ONCE, whether you succeed or fail. If you do it again and it becomes apparent you're watching then its over for good and women talk to each other so word will spread