Thread 33643612

I'm a european guy and I met my girlfriend during a vacation in Japan. We're in a long distance relationship, but I'm allowed to work remotely from time to time depending on the work volume, so I sometimes go and live with her for up to 5-6 weeks.

She works really long hours and she's tired of it, so she kinda hinted that she'd be willing to give up her job to move to my country so that we can live together fulltime. Obviously I'd want to make her life easier, and for us to see each other every day, but I feel like if she'd move here, it would be the death of our relationship.

We talked about what attracted us to each other the first time we met, and she pretty much said that it was that I'm >tall, handsome, and muscular.

I'm still taller and fitter than average in my country, but the difference is less stark. I also am not exactly handsome. There's plenty of tall prettyboys who tryhard the gym everywhere where I live(probably partly because we don't need to work 12h daily). I'm also a boring motherfucker, and ALL my previous (white) girlfriends left me for other dudes.

I explained the situation to a friend and he said that I'm a paranoid schizo who can't trust anyone. But I see it more as pattern recognition.

So yeah I'm kinda conflicted, because I know we'd have a higher quality of life if she'd move here than if I moved to Japan. But if she'd move here, I'm worried she'd break up with me.

Am I really paranoid, or are my concerns valid?

>>33643612 (OP)
Moving in, in particular by moving countries is a big step, that will put your relationship to the test. There's a certain chance both of you have a strong need for personal time, which will be reduced by moving in together. I think this will be the biggest challenge, not the fact that there's other tall boys around.
Buuuut there's good reasons to get the fuck out of japan, including but not limited those fucking 12 hour shifts, so I wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
She trusts you enough to switch countries for you, the least you can do is trust her enough to continue to be somewhat rational.
Do it faggot, but make sure both of you have a private space where you can avoid the other in case you break each others balls too much. No 1 room apartment!

>>33643612 (OP)
i mean can she even get a visa in your country? can she speak the language? can you speak japanese? can she get a job in your country or could you get a job in japan?

its not as simple as just moving
but to answer your question if she is going to cheat in your country she would probably already be cheating while you are long distance dont you think?

>>33643612 (OP)
women want a man who is confident, charming and responsible.
an unspoken thing is that women are attracted to men who have a lot of options. as in, if she left him, he would be disappointed, but he wouldn't be too phased. also, this is typically not men that are cheaters, as that would not be charming or responsible.

your concerns are rooted in insecurities that may or may not be true. women playfully or overtly testing men is a way to see how they react to certain things.
your insecurities will envelop your relationship and she will feel it. she will say a comment about everyone being so tall and many muscle here, and you will react defensively and she will see this as validation that you are not the man you said yourself to be. that you headed overseas as the same boring fish to a more receptive pond. that she is confused why she is with you as she sees sides of you, or the lack of sides that were hidden by your false projection of confidence that was unmasked

so maybe you should read your own post and particularly the fourth line. you should bring her over and help her out and have a romance or something, and it could be helpful for you. maybe stop thinking about a relationship in the abstract and ruminating and instead look inwards and figure out why you're so resistant to taking action in the moment.

>>33643612 (OP)
>I met my girlfriend during a vacation in Japan.
how did you approach her?

>>33643612 (OP)
no move to her country never move her to the west.