Thread 33646448

How do I make my brain accept that I'm going to be a married man?
When I was an incel, I used to think getting a gf would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me and that it would fix all my problems.
I basically got a gf by adopting this approach where I would take the first girl who showed interest in me. Before, I would suffer from oneitis and eventually just scare them away/creep them out because I was too autistic/intense. I wouldn't pursue girls who were already into me because I was usually not interested in them.
But then it happened, I got a gf, this homely girl from college. It was nice for a while, even though I didn't feel anything as intense for her as did for the the several onetis I had in the past. I finally felt like a real man after losing my virginity to her, and spending time with her was really fun at the start. But now, the novelty has completely worn off.
I feel trapped. She wants to get married and we already live together, but domestic life feels like a prison. I'd rather be alone honestly. I miss spending weekends playing video games and browsing the internet. Even cooming was kind of better than the sex I'm getting, which feels more like a chore than anything. I feel like i'm on the brink of losing my mind.
I could break up with her, but I don't really want to hurt her feelings after making all those stupid promises that we would be together forever. I actually tried to a bunch of times, but never got through with it, so I guess I can't. How do I make myself accept that this is my life now? It almost feels like a deity is punishing me for wishing for something that was never meant for me in the first place.

>>33646448 (OP)
Talk to her.
Tell her you're feeling the spark dying.
Ask her for advice.

By showing her vulnerability she will either:
Help fix the problem.
Or
Dump you herself when she gets the ick from you showing weakness.

>>33646552
I think he is lacking the internal work to reframe what it means to be in a relationship. In this case, it was mainly a box that he had to tick, an itch that he had to scratch. OP didn't mention how is his day-to-day life with the girl, what is her personality like (and can't exactly know his either). He can break up saying something like "I got bored of this/you", really hurt her feelings and the world will have two more miserable people. Or, maybe, he can try to see how her presence may add positively to his life and make it a new foundation for the relationship, because it seems that the old one was "I need to get out of the incel pit somehow". Sorry for the yapping, I'm a lurker+ESL but I'm in a good mood today

>>33646448 (OP)
Did your gf that log on your head? Looks like it's weighing u down, maybe get rid of it and go your own way

>>33646448 (OP)
>I'd rather be alone honestly. I miss spending weekends playing video games and browsing the internet.
Is this a fucking joke?

>>33646448 (OP)
You have to grow up at some point. Try to find a healthy balance where she lets you play some vidya and gives you some space. You have to talk about these things, or it's gonna blow up. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. If you don't figure this out now, you're going to struggle for the rest of your life.

>>33646801
I honestly felt like he does in my first relationship, and still do sometimes. It's hard to give up your vices.

>>33646448 (OP)
You got your first experience under your belt, that is great!
>I finally felt like a real man after losing my virginity to her, and spending time with her was really fun at the start. But now, the novelty has completely worn off.
Now you can take that confidence and bang another woman, go after one that you are into both on a personal and visual level.

>but domestic life feels like a prison
It does, because you gf'ed up what shoudl have been a lousy one night stand. This woman is not for you, you yourself stated that you are not really into her.

Btw, staying with someone who doesn't genuinely enrich your life is ten times worse than being alone. Your feelings are telling the truth, if you ever marry or God forbid do have kids with her, you will be crying every night wishing back your incel days.

Just break up with her nicely.

>>33646552
>>33646712
Why the fuck do you tard treat this as if there was a real relationship at stake here? This is the classical "practice gf". Kind of a scummy move on OPs part, but he didn't know any better and just went along.

>>33646801
>>33646817
Never had a relationship where I had to "give up" anything. Of course there some compromises to be made here and there, but no woman has any right to demand your time or dictate what you do.
Some chick doesn't like my gaming, she knows where the door is. I also do other stuff with them like go on a hike or to concerts or whatever, but if I want to game from friday to sunday then that is what is going to happen.

holy shit, moids say WOMEN lack agency and accountability... break up you retard.

>>33646985
How do I break up with someone nicely? I'm not sure what to tell her that wouldn't absolutely break her heart
Last time I tried she just sobbed uncontrollably while begging me not to break up with her until I said OK

>>33646448 (OP)
>I don't really want to hurt her feelings after making all those stupid promises that we would be together forever.
so what are all those stupid promises aside from being together forever? there's no such thing as forever.

>>33647006
>Some chick doesn't like my gaming

You should have went for a gamer girl. How the hell did it end up to this? Clearly there's no mutual interests aside from being couples and sex here.

.>if I want to game from friday to sunday then that is what is going to happen
so that ain't going to happen at its current state then what is her idea on friday to sundays with you? Do tell us more.

It's just time issues between hobbies?

>>33647006
>She knows where the door is
Based

If more people (men and women) had this attitudes there wouldn't be half as much suffering in the world. I only ever got hurt by girls the two times I ignored my intuition. Shoulda showed them the door

>>33646448 (OP)
>I don't really want to hurt her feelings after making all those stupid promises that we would be together forever.
so what are all those stupid promises aside from being together forever? there's no such thing as forever.

>>33647006
>Some chick doesn't like my gaming

You should have went for a gamer girl. How the hell did it end up to this? Clearly there's no mutual interests aside from being couples and sex here.

>if I want to game from friday to sunday then that is what is going to happen
so that ain't going to happen at its current state then what is her idea on friday to sundays with you? Do tell us more.

It's just time issues between hobbies?