Thread 33651428

Would women find it off putting if a guy has no close friends and mainly hangs out with family? I've slowly drifted away from my friends and am struggling to build new connections so as a result I'm a homebody. Also don't do a lot of the activities/sports I used to but still exercise regularly. Other than this and my lack of experience with women I wouldn't consider myself a loser, I regularly leave the house, go on cool vacations, have a decent job, etc. My family are all loners too so I feel it kind of rubbed off on me. Also I don't know where to meet girls, I see them out all the time at restaurants, grocery store, gym, etc. What should I do? I'm retarded and could use some examples.

You can actually get away with a lot of things in life depending on how you present them.

People might look at you weird, but every situation is different and being career-obsessed isn’t unheard of. Own your situation, highlight the good things going on in your life, and show that you are looking to make a change. Make it easy for others to want to invest in you.

And anon, push yourself to socialize. Socialization is good for your mental health, independent of women.

>>33651603
Thanks for the reply anon, where do you recommend I go to socialize? I know this questions been asked to death but my city kinda sucks

>>33651798

I don’t know, man.

I’ve lived in a couple of places like New York City and Austin, and honestly my approach changes depending on the city. Each one has its own vibe. For example, NYC has multiple newsletters packed with events, and you’ve got to filter through them to find what clicks.

Some of the best people I’ve met were at art exhibitions, chamber of commerce events, and even martial arts or dance classes.

The key is to show up at events tied to your hobbies and just get people talking about themselves—you’d be surprised how easily that opens things up.

>>33652663
Thanks anon, do you have any tips on introducing yourself without appearing like a sperg? Also what do you say when you want to make a new friend or get a girls phone number?

>>33652947
I don’t think it really matters.

If you’re not naturally bold, just be observational—make a comment about whatever’s going on around you if you don’t have anything else to say. Say it with confidence, then ease into some friendly teasing or light flirting.

Something simple like, “I’m convinced you’re the person with the best style here,” or, “I’ve never been much of a coffee person—what do you usually get?” works as a solid conversation starter.

When it’s time to ask her out, keep it straightforward: “Hey, I’ve got to run/work on xyz. Do you have IG?”

Be casual, phrase things as no big deal—you’re just comfortable in the moment. Whether she’s interested or not isn’t your problem. You’re simply there to connect with people you vibe with.

>>33653708
I only have a burner IG, don't know how to get followers so I just use it to follow things I'm interested in. Would women find this off putting? What do I tell them?

>>33651428 (OP)
>Would women find it
BLABLA, they don't know what they want to. do your own thing

but you are a loser anon
sorry

>>33654608
Well then how do I change this?

>>33654553

YouTube how to find and grow an Instagram audience.

Taking compelling photos/videos of an exciting life you lead.

You don't need a gigantic following, I've seen guys fuck hot girls with only 500.

>>33651428 (OP)
Women find it very offputting when a man gets insecure about his hobbies and interests at the mere thought of a hypothetical woman getting the ick upon finding out that he's sincerely interested in minding his own business and doing what comes natural.

>>33655902
A bit of a run on sentence there, don't know what you're trying to say buddy

>>33655224
500 is a lot starting from zero, especially for me a grown ass man

>>33651428 (OP)
>>33658593
NTA but dude, ignore any retard telling you that you have to have social media to get laid, let alone 500 followers or wasting your time watching youtube videos of "how to grow an instagram" with the singular goal of eventually getting laid because you have 500 followers. like seriously? you seriously are willing to take THAT advice? it's a load of fucking shit.

no, women won't find it offputting unless you act offputting and weird about it. just say you don't really have an IG and you aren't interested in social media. if some roastie finds that "offputting" then congrats you just filtered a complete idiotic whore.

step one as to why you aren't having success if that you care too much about what they will think. you aren't secure with yourself if you are willing to chase all of these random things that are unnatural to you. that's what is going to put off a woman to you, is finding out that half the shit you have going on was actually just empty meaningless stuff you faked to try and appear different from yourself.

this idea of asking someone out by saying "hey i've got to run- but do you have an instagram?" is fucking stupid. do you know how many people say that? you will just be the thousandth retard this week to use that exact same process, and then nothing happens and you're following a bunch of random chicks that you have no prospects with, and you'll be nothing more than another simp to view her stories and increase her follower number or slider in her DM.

be your fucking self. don't chase superficial shit. stop caring about "do women find x y or z offputtiong/unattractive" because that's what they find unattractive, guys that have to constantly be thinking this question.

you can't fake aura or grace. if you are doing a bunch of stuff that's only objective is that you theorized women would find it more attractive, then that alone is extremely unattractive behavior.

>>33656902
>>33655902
let me translate for you, illiterate faggot.
>women find it very off-putting when a man gets insecure
that's the bottom line, you can stop reading now if your ADHD riddled attention span can't take in more than a single idea per sentence, and if you are in fact capable of reading further, then let it be said that they find it even MORE off-putting if the reason the guy is insecure is because he cares about the opinion of an imaginary woman that he has yet to even meet.

it's a self-fulfilling cycle, and the solution is to stop living in hypothetical land.

i don't waste time texting girls, unless they just gave me their number and i'm setting up an actual in person date. i'm very forward with them about this, as not to set that expectation that we're going to play 21 questions over SMS all day long. no. we aren't in middle school, we can talk face to face over dinner to get an actually mutual assessment of one another. learn all the relevant information, and go from there.

i'm not following your instagram or tiktok, i'm not even saving your number to my contacts until we've had an actual real moment together. we aren't here to collect a bunch of contacts. you want an advantage, be the first guy she's interacted with in probably months or years, that doesn't have instagram. don't force yourself to be someone else because it's going to turn away the people that would really like YOU for who you are, and instead you're going to just look like every other fucking mindless zogbot who is following hundreds of girls on instagram and reacting to their stories while they are swooning over some guy that doesn't even have instagram when that could have been you.

what's worse is that you'd come to 4chan /adv/ to be the one gazillionth guy to ask this same time wasting bullshit question about imaginary women. you already know the fucking answer dude. and you set yourself up for failure by even entertaining what the moronic idiots here would try to pass onto you as advice. they are probably the same people that have threads up RIGHT NOW about their struggles with women, and then they come in here and try to give you some advice about just watch youtube videos on how to gain an instagram following bro!! you'll get so much pussy that way!! like lmfao. seriously man, don't waste your time asking for advice here. you've heard it all before, and you'll just be filling your head with even more useless fucking information that has no correlation to the real world.

it's cliche for a reason- be your fucking self and stop asking these time wasting self-mindfucking questions like will women i havent even met yet find x y or z unattractive about me?

why don't you let them speak for themselves as to what they do or do not find attractive about you and go from there? you'll get nowhere or even end up worse off wasting your time watching youtube videos and listening to incels giving dating advice. don't be that fucking person. be above that, for your own sake. if you are straight, white, and a male, you fucking won. keep your head up high, be yourself, uncompromisingly.

i understand, maybe when i was 19 i was more anxious about that sort of thing, but life is going to rape your ass if you walk around anxious like that. be proud of yourself and your spirit and who you are, don't let yourself be corrupted by hypotheticals. women can tell from one glance who has the power between the two of you, and if you need what she has more than the other way around- you'll end up completely pwned.

you are a man, so carry yourself like one. don't listen to any newage faggot advice, listen to your own inner spirit