Thread 33666702

i'm 22 next month. i have never experienced love with another girl the same age between 15-19. In fact i never even had female friends at that age. I will never know what it means to go in class and sit with another teenager with schoolgirl fantasies, while we both deal with stupid problems and being teasy and making fun of the teachers and classmates together and all that drama that happens next.

there are two reasons for this:
1) i chose to go to a technician focused high school because my middle school teachers hated me and thought i was a no good student (while i had trauma and i underperformed around 12). i breezed through it and was the first of the class, but i had an only male class the whole fucking time.
2) covid made two of those 5 years at home only and one with masks at school and no social contacts. so even if i made the right choice, i think it was destiny that i would never experienced a normal teenager life.
3) my country is a social cesspool. 45+ median age, basically nothing to do around for young people. even now while at uni - which does not have dorms mind you as this is not an anglo country, and i have to commute since i don't have the money to pay a rent - i don't have anything else to do. there's also the fact that it looks like everyone is on the internet anyways and there's just no real life anymore, so maybe mine was just the wrong generation and i should have been a teen in 2004 or something.

how do i cope? what are my options? am i idealizing, is this twilight fantasy shit only a thing of the past before post-2007 internet ruined everything? Was my gen. fucked from the start, did someone my age actually experience this?

>>33666702 (OP)
Your problem is you're a loser in your 20s. I literally sat in my room all day in my teenage years and dropped out of school I never had friends or teen love or whatever and dont care because I fixed my life as an adult and dont care about whater childhood shit i missed out. If you werent still a loser you wouldnt care about being one 5 years ago.

Teenage "love" is shit. You missed nothing, be glad.

>>33666702 (OP)
>i have never experienced love with another girl the same age between 15-19
good. you're not supposed to experience love with another girl. find a man like God intended

>>33666790
I didn't care for years, but it was just denying reality in order to cope. Stuff happened and now i am self aware again.

>>33666702 (OP)
tl;dr, and you never will.

Your problem could be, an ambition driven mindset that constantly panics over things and can't let off. Or you're not planning your own life, you're living for others and you end up choosing pacts that set you many years apart in an environment with no women.

The only way to meet women organically is to meet them at a shared experience, i.e an easy course in uni because women aren't made for thinking. Women don't go out alone for safety reasons, so you will never find them without a boyfriend at fun activities. The only other maybe scenario is to meet them starting say, dancing class, violin class, art class etc. Starting is the keyword. Otherwise you will have to conform to leftover friend referrals.

>>33666840
about the first paragraph: that trauma i had definitely made me ambition driven, like unhealtily.
the second paragraph: i know about the shared environment thing. that's why i really wish i went to a normal high school in a normal no-covid period (in a fucking normal country) because that was really my only possibility of experiencing that.
>dancing class, violin class, art class
i guess this is an anglo thing, but if i joined one of those here i would only find 50+ year old hags. hell, even normal venues only have old people. for what i saw, i am pretty sure adult women in here just pass their time between uni and home only going out with their close group of friends between eventually wasting their life in underpaid jobs. some are lucky to have a place to live in without the parents. i fucking hate the place i live in.

>>33666864
>their close group of friends
missed the most important thing: the group of friends is usually brought from high school as well.

>>33666702 (OP)
OP, are you me?

>>33666702 (OP)
ah yes, the 21 year old Gen X Boomer who is unable to date 19 year olds.

>even now while at uni - which does not have dorms mind you as this is not an anglo country, and i have to commute since i don't have the money to pay a rent - i don't have anything else to do. there's also the fact that it looks like everyone is on the internet anyways and there's just no real life anymore, so maybe mine was just the wrong generation and i should have been a teen in 2004 or something.

I was about to post that you should go to college/university/whatever it's called in your country just to take part time classes.

So there you are, surrounded by 19 year olds, complaining that you're unable to talk to them.

Even if you were 21 years old in 2004 you would still be unable to talk to them. It's not a problem with le modern society, it's not a problem with whatever mountain country you love in, it's not a problem with internet and cell phones.

Join a fuckin college club you dork, whatever shit you're half-interested in there's a club there.

>>33666840
>Women don't go out alone for safety reasons,
This is retarded and false.

>>33666872
>missed the most important thing: the group of friends is usually brought from high school as well.
This is also retarded and false. High school groups always get scattered when a quarter of them don't go to university, another quarter of them go to another university, and the other quarter either grows apart naturally or because they're studying completely different topics.

>>33666702 (OP)
I won't read "missed milestones" threads. Just start now.

>>33666864
>>dancing class, violin class, art class
>i guess this is an anglo thing, but if i joined one of those here i would only find 50+ year old hags
What are you French or something?

but no, joining a violin class is especially weird and fringe and hyper specific advice from that other guy.

Do you enjoy violin? Go for it. Are you looking to date some classical music nerd girl? Go for it.

But is the Violin club where all the hot singles are at? No.

>>33667111
>So there you are, surrounded by 19 year olds, complaining that you're unable to talk to them.
no shit, you go to a CS course with 100 men and 7 women, 5 of which are just plain ugly, and one is actually trans. the other is not my type, but this isn't about that. it's about me missing teenage love.

also, it's not like i don't have the guts, but it's really just that rare to find the opportunity in such a course. i tried that route. my first year i got to know the somewhat only normal girl in the class, which then i found out to be a girl with BPD issues that made me believe she had a fear of men while she actually had a bf (for months). it's just that CS is a shit course.

>Join a fuckin college club you dork
as i said, not an anglo country, no such things. universities are bulidings (often old industrial buildings on rent) with rooms repurposed as classrooms. classrooms have 100+ people. you go in, sit, listen to the non-interactive purely-theoric lessons for 4 hours, and then you get out because there's literally nothing else going on. and no, it's not a "nothing else because i just don't want to look into it", there's actually NOTHING else going on in the universities. because they're not campuses with dorms.

>This is also retarded and false. High school groups always get scattered when a quarter of them don't go to university, another quarter of them go to another university, and the other quarter either grows apart naturally or because they're studying completely different topics.
Maybe in other countries where there's campuses and dorms, but not here in my experience of hearing about old middle / high school classmates.

>>33667120
near there, still west europe.
>Are you looking to date some classical music nerd girl? Go for it.
lol maybe the opposite, the fantasies usually involve some broody secretly vulnerable short haired goth girl, but whatever

And yeah i'm being pedantic about it, but it's not really about the hot singles or even only about having sex. i don't even care that much about being a virgin to be honest, fuck one of the positives of being in an only male class was that we all felt like we were on the same shitty boat and made constant jokes about being virgins, it kinda gave me a sadistic ironic outlook on life. it was like 4chan irl.
i'm just sad that i never experienced teenage love as i described it in the OP while both living without a lot of responsibilities. like, those usual cringe fantasies you hear like hiding from your parents while sneaking around the house, going at prom (which isn't even a thing here), driving her home, being brats at class, the drama etc.

Welcome to the club, I dropped out and missed out on teenage life because of an alcoholic parent.
The way you cope is by making due with what you have. There is no turning back the clock to get your neatly dressed Disney story idealized teenage life.
All you can do is get back on the cart and make something out of yourself.

>even now while at uni - which does not have dorms mind you as this is not an anglo country, and i have to commute since i don't have the money to pay a rent - i don't have anything else to do
>here's also the fact that it looks like everyone is on the internet anyways and there's just no real life anymore
Building on >>33667331 we are going through very similar problems.
I also moved to a college and I live in apartments instead of dorms. It is hard to socialize from nothing and my schedule isn't forgiving to make room for social clubs and the like this semester.
If it is any consolation, you aren't suffering these issues alone. I am at least 1 other person feeling the brunt of this type of situation. }
I hate going outside every day and seeing people happy with what I believe to be "owed" to me.
Of course logically I know nothing is owed to me by anyone, but it can really feel like I am missing out on what everyone else has had handed to them. It's tough, every time I hold the door for someone and they don't even look at me(much less say thank you) it feels like a small part of me dies inside among other small things that build up in my mind, but no amount of self hatred or loathing will get us to where we want to be, only intentional effort.

>>33667343
i'm actually living with my parents still because as i said they can't (the economy is actually shit here) pay rent for me. i guess it's consolating to know that i would probably be the same as you if i had one though, even though it kinda sucks to relate to that and i don't want to say who has it better. but yeah, same issue with schedules too, i'm not even going every day because the commute is just too long and costly, and woe if i ever try to get a part time, which made me drop out the first time.

>no amount of self hatred or loathing will get us to where we want to be, only intentional effort.
maybe it's that it's night and i usually don't feel like absolute dogshit at this hour, but i kinda felt a little better reading that, thanks.

>>33667401
I can also related to the commute problem, I have to make my way roughly a mile up a steep hill each day to get back to where I live from campus, and that is presuming I end the day on the correct campus or else I have to travel there first.
I tend to become more depressive at night as well, idle hands(and minds) are the devils playground.
It can feel comforting to relate to people in a similar situation even if it is a negative one. You aren't alone in suffering from loneliness, it is a silent epidemic.
The only solace that I can give is that while there is no guarantee on improvement from your effort, giving up is a guarantee that it won't improve. Never let perfection be the enemy of good, it's better to try sub-optimally than to give up optimally.

>>33667323
>teenage love as i described it in the OP
teenage love is almost always awful, you're at your most hormonal/emotional and people hook up and break up based on the most nonsense of things like listening to the same music group or listening to different music groups. Both guys and girls will act like breaking up is the end of the universe after being together for like 2 months. Cheating is obviously more rampant than any other age group.

Personally my top cringe was sending an ex-gf some like 5000 word email about how I hate her and she's mean and stupid and slutty (she hadn't even had sex yet) after she blocked because I was also having a big meltie through our messaging app.

Thankfully this was ages ago so my shit never ended up as an epic screen cap.

>>33666702 (OP)
From what I've seen, some whore will throw you crumbs of pussy and you'll fall deeply in love, then either she'll crush your heart and leave you broken, or you'll stick with her and get cheated on repeatedly while ignoring it. Thats the case of literally every late bloomer I've met. But what do I know

>>33667591
This is terrifyingly true because a lot of people who have no previous relationship experience will settle for some clearly irresponsible girl. Just look at idubbbz, he was a kissless virgin until he was like 30? now his wife is controlling every aspect of his life.

>>33667323
>>33667569
and the same goes with the American Hollywood Movie idea of high school where people are throwing parties in their 3-floor 5-bathrooms 15-bedrooms average sized house where people can find privacy of someone else's bedroom and have epic sex.

Most parties are just people standing/sitting around drinking cheap beer while a few girls dance together in a corner, trying to not make too much of a mess because whoever's parents are going to be back the day after tomorrow and trying to not be too loud so that the neighbors don't call the cops.

Even college parties, most people again don't live in giant American frat houses the average college party is again a few people smoking weed standing smoking weed only now it's in someone's cramped apartment.

The craziest thing that ever happened at any sort of teenage/early 20s party was when Salvia Divinorum was legal and I would bring it to parties and send people to the Alien Flesh Tunnel Dimension. I did have a threesome in college but this wasn't even at a party with loud music and red plastic cups it was just these two lesbian/bisexuals letting me crash at their place after a bunch of friends had gone out for dinner and few too many drinks.

I personally had more fun and crazier things happened at concerts than any party.

>>33667569
to be honest i experienced similar drama at 13 (she wasn't an ex-gf though, just a crush in the middle of a 3 guys triangle wanting to hit on her including me), so that's the only real "experience" i had. but i guess i was referring to more "grown up" teen years like 16-19. would the experience had been the same? idk.

>>33667591
It was almost happening as i said in another post. thankfully i still retained some fucking cynicism to not trust her completely. So, what can i say? Nice prediction?

>>33667655
>to be honest i experienced similar drama at 13 (she wasn't an ex-gf though, just a crush in the middle of a 3 guys triangle wanting to hit on her including me), so that's the only real "experience" i had. but i guess i was referring to more "grown up" teen years like 16-19. would the experience had been the same? idk.
Absolutely, I was 16 or probably moreso 17 at the time. I know some guys who went through that in their early 20s. It's almost like an inevitable rite of passage for some guys, like doing the whole "confessing" thing and telling some bitch that you're in love with her when she barely knows you and you haven't even been on a date yet and then hopefully learning from that mistake and saving the deep emotions for when you're well established in a relationship instead of emotion dumping on some unsuspecting girl who's barely a friend to you.

>>33667710
kek, you got a good laugh out of me, looks like i haven't missed all the milestones completely. i literally did the 300 mile message confessing thing to that same crush from when i was 13 fresh out of HS lmao. I had a good reason though, she went on detail on how she lived her best life as a teen fucking around (literally) and how her bf wouldn't listen to her (the fuck are you telling me about?)