Thread 33682169

is this a huge red flag?
>have liked a guy who i know vaguely through this one group for some time
>there always seems to be some kind of tension between us (or maybe it's just me being retarded)
>he's pretty cute, very very skinny, average height, which i like
>older, 30 years old or a bit older i think
>he isn't rich but he basically travels for work sometimes
>the last time i saw him and this group, he mentioned that he went to colombia just recently and did coke there
the last point mainly. i didn't know he does hard drugs. i've never even tried weed and i didn't say anything in that conversation.

Kind of weird this guy would travel to Colombia to do coke when you can find it pretty much anywhere.
I can't help you with the rest, sorry. I'm horrible when it comes to relationship stuff. Best of luck anon.

>>33682169 (OP)
Up to you to decide your comfort level with hard drugs. Was he there for cocaine or was he there for work and did coke while there? If it's the first, that's a bigger red flag than the second, because it means he's retarded. If it's the second, means he likes drugs. Believe it or not, it is possible to use coke purely recreationally. Much more common than you'd think.
>I've never even tried weed
Try it. People who don't do drugs believe all sorts of weird things about drugs.

>>33682474
>>33682503
i don't think he traveled there to do coke specifically, he just did it on the side on his free time. it sounded like probably the first time?
>Try it
i'm not very social, idk where to get it. i wouldn't mind trying it at all but i'd prefer a situation like a friend offering to try it with me, rather than me going alone to buy from someone random lol.

>>33682527
oh and by trying ""it" i mean weed obv.

>>33682527
>on the side, probably the first time
Good that it was on the side. Maybe it was his first time, but I doubt it. It makes sense though. Coke in Colombia is very pure and very cheap compared to street coke in the States. More people than you'd expect do coke -- I think people who don't do drugs think that coke is super super hardcore. It's not, not really. At least not if you snort it. If you shoot it that's a different story, but I see no reason to think he shot it up. Even genuine cokeheads prefer not to shoot it most of the time.
>idk where to get weed
Delta 8 is basically the same thing. It's not the exact same but like, 90% the same thing. If you're in the US you should be able to get that pretty easily. Ask a friend who smokes to smoke you out for your first time. Stoners love introducing people to weed. Don't do edibles for your first time.

>>33682680
i'm not in the US, we're both from europe lol. but i see so if it's likely he did it just once (first time i mean which is what it sounded like) and very likely just snorted it maybe it's not as "extreme" as i was at first afraid of.

>>33682707
Ahh, gotcha. No clue how to get weed in Europe I'm afraid. But I suggest you try it out -- you absolutely know someone who smokes, they'll probably let you take a few puffs, weed is probably the physically safest drug you can do, aside from acid/shrooms.
>not as "extreme" as I was at first afraid of
It probably wasn't, but I'm just guessing off of what you told me. I'm almost certain he snorted it. Everyone's got their own comfort level with hard drugs, that's up to you to navigate. I wouldn't be surprised if he does coke semi-regularly desu but so do a lot of people.

>>33682722
i guess it's possible he has done it more than once then. and ty for your insight. he uses snus too and used to smoke a lot apparently so he might use a lot of things i suppose. but i got a crush on him when we were in a group and he pulled out this thing and dropped some snus stuff on his hand and snorted it, and he let me try it too, and then said i'm the first woman who agreed to try it. saying stuff like that works on me very easily lol. but i did later get worried that he's a "user" when he mentioned the coke thing, hopefully not.

>>33682754
>i did later get worried that he's a "user" when he mentioned the coke thing, hopefully not
Again, my guess is he probably is. You can be a recreational coke user and not be a cokehead/addict. I'd guess that most coke users aren't addicts. It's up to you to decide if you're alright with that.

>>33682169 (OP)
You know that men go to Colombia only to bang cheap whores and do drugs, right ?
If you go to whores, its a huge red flag and smart men never mention it to women or anyone outside close male friends.

>>33682814
i mean i'm a pretty open person and not saying all people who use coke are addicts but in this case it might be a red flag because he already seems to drink a bit much, so doing coke regularly on top of that would be a bit much for me lol.

>>33682828
>You know that men go to Colombia only to bang cheap whores and do drugs, right ?
yeah that was my first assumption ngl and you could be right. but he did have to go there for a work obligation basically so it's not like he randomly flew to colombia just for fun. he has also had relationships before, but he seems a bit distant around women in general, so i suppose i coped and thought that maybe in a best case scenario i'll find out that he's the type who doesn't like to do hookups or whores or that sort of things and literally just tried coke in colombia lol.

Stay clean and don't fuck with some drug loser. People with their shit together don't entertain the idea. If you got with him he would end up dragging you down into that lifestyle. Find a man you can respect who doesn't give in to peer pressure or use drugs as a vice, and doesn't "travel" for work. That's the male version of whoring out for favors, cept he probably deals. It is never as simple as "just one time." He hangs with certain crowds

>>33682707
>and very likely just snorted it
Yes, that's how you consume coke. You thought he was slamming it? lmao

>>33682863
i don't know about these things k

>>33682855
>People with their shit together don't entertain the idea
I guarantee you know several hard drug users. In fact, I'd bet my right hand on it. People seem to think that only one kind of person in one specific strata of society does hard drugs. This is false -- every kind of drug is common at every level of society.
>it is never as simple as "just one time"
Agreed on this, though. It usually isn't that simple. This isn't necessarily bad, but it can be. Don't know your boyfriend so I can't comment on that.
>>33682834
Didn't say you were saying that tbf, more trying to address something that's probably in the back of your mind. Coke and alcohol's a popular combination. The liver combines the two into a chemical called cocaethylene, which both lessens the negative effects of coke/alc and heightens the positive effects. (TL;DR you can drink more without getting sloshed and you can do more coke without freaking out.) Feels amazing but quite cardiotoxic. I've never met a coke user that wasn't also a drinker.

I suggest you try to find out more about his drug habits. It's very hard to tell someone's affinity for drugs based on a secondhand report of one instance of them using a drug. I'd also suggest you think about what is and is not a dealbreaker for you personally.

>>33682855
i mean there's truth in your post. i do know he doesn't "deal" though. but as mentioned before i might've been a bit in denial about the possibility that he's been with prostitutes which would be a big red flag for me. i guess i just fall for the "i can fix him" trap easily, especially since he's also very gentlemanly/respectful which surprised me. like you know doesn't act slimey around women at all and puts his friends first. but yeah i guess that still doesn't change the possibility of the worse things.

drugs are fun and can be used responsibly. though many people don't. most people i know have at least tried some when younger, some of them have had their lives almost ruined. if you're anti-drugs you are scared of life imho. doing coke once in a while is no big deal in my eyes.

>>33682902
I might work with drug users but willfully associating, let alone choosing to be in a a relationship with one, is two different things. Your point isn't incorrect that it's common, but you can stop advocating for it's normalcy anytime. This is how people falter

>>33682902
>I suggest you try to find out more about his drug habits. It's very hard to tell someone's affinity for drugs based on a secondhand report of one instance of them using a drug. I'd also suggest you think about what is and is not a dealbreaker for you personally.
ty, this seems like the best way to go for now. even if i'm shy and have a hard time even speaking to him lol, we both mostly talk to others in the group and rarely if ever to each other. and thanks for the info, doubt i'll ever use it but it's always good to know more i suppose .

>>33682872
Today you have learned something

>>33682912
Also you don't "know" shit. You're utilizing the halo effect to act on your sexual impulse. Trying not to see the reasonable red flags your conscious is warning you about. You can't trust what some shitty drug user says, only what he does, and the only thing you actually know about the guy is that he claims to be with hookers and do drugs. He sure sounds like a catch...

By the way, every druggy group looks like they "put each other first," calling them each others' bros and shit, "I would due for him" bullshit, but that's because they all just bond by doing degenerate shit with each other, but when a conflict breaks out over who gets to keep doing drugs and who doesn't, you see the true nature come out, usually violently. Don't be stupid

>>33682169 (OP)
Coke is a huge red flag, at least in my experience. People who do coke aren't generally good news.

>>33682169 (OP)
Yes, you moron. And Colombia is also notorious for sex tourism. If he's a junkie, he has 100% also been whoring around.

>>33682852
>he's the type who doesn't like to do hookups or whores or that sort of things and literally just tried coke in colombia
You're incredibly naive if you think this is even possible. There's a reason he's single and doing coke in Colombia in his 30s. Sadly, he'll probably tell you what you want to hear, and you'll buy it just long enough for him to get you in bed for some retarded reason.

Don't say you weren't warned.