Thread 33803136

Hello good users of /adv/ I wish you all a good day, this thread is a genuine attempt to listen to you and care about you and what you want to ask/share.

I do not wish to make big claims of myself but I can genuinely help you regarding :


Finances, Emotions, Religion, Love, Occult, Sex and Fashion.

If you wish to ask for an advice or just any simple matter, please let me share my genuine effort for you then...

I await you and hope to see you pass.

nigger

>>33803136 (OP)
I think I'm hideous and that's it's not really up for debate. I've been treated like trash my entire life because of my looks and have become a shutin for the past 6ish years because dealing with people was humiliating.
I think the only way I'm ever going to be treated like a human is by hardcore looksmaxxing including surgery. I think this is truly my only hope.
Obviously I'm a KHHV and completely sexually rejected.
My self-esteem is completely in the gutter and I feel inferior to basically everyone else.
I'm 5'11 if it matters

>>33803163
Thank you for coming here anon and thank you for opening up about this, it takes courage. I appreciate you and wish you much love.

Anon, please tell me why are you emotional hurt? for having this much low self-esteem is a huge sign. Anon the image you have in mind is not you...it's your depressing mind version of you. Please understand that you aren't really that bad looking nor "ugly", a bit of grooming, matching clothes and style, good haircut some perfume and confidence will get you far. You know how much a good suit with a stance changes a man? it's all presentations and mental anon, like a product, you need to market yourself! in words in clothes in actions even in texting and online profiles! It's something I studied first hand...the first impressions are the biggest!

Please don’t think of yourself like that anon and if you wanna do surgery then please gather enough money for a good surgeon don’t go cheap.

I wish you the best anon and i hope you felt my words. Much love to you.

How TF do I handle being in an area with a lot of people without shaking and getting too scared to even get up to grab myself a drink

>>33803136 (OP)
Thank you, I have lots of uncertainty about the future and don't know what to do with my life, I know god cares about me and doesn't want me to sin, but beyond that I don't know what to do or how to accomplish whatever it is that I need to do.
>>33803163
I know it is hard, but honestly the best first step you can do is go to the gym, I'm not saying become a bodybuilder or Hulk Hogan, but if you are physically stronger you will feel more confident, and people will notice you more, it's not a guaranteed fix, but its one of the things you can have absolute control over and is one for the best ways to improve yourself

>>33803198
Good day and I wish you well Anon. I understand your issue and I would simply recommend you something different anon, please try to build a small circle of friends first. Build a small circle/group of 2 of 3 friends you love and trust and hang around them. Build yourself there slowly and be around them, with time eventually your courage will rise! You don’t have to hit big clubs anon or bars...but...if you can't be in public a lot and have major anxiety attacks then please seek some therapy if needed for this issue might require professional work to solve. But nevertheless, please know genuinely that there is nothing with you anon...you are very normal and okay! nobody is looking or paying any attention to you really. The stares people give to each other is very normal...it's what people do. You are amazing and you will overcome this, I wish you good days ahead full of many friends and sweet times.

>>33803200
Hello British anon and good day to you lovely. God does indeed love us all I am very sure...his infinite love cannot be imagined. But please anon...tell me...what is it that you need to accomplish? What do you really want to accomplish? a spiritual call? a job in life? please do tell and I shall listen

>>33803190
Unfortunately I am indeed objectively unattractive, it's not just my mind playing games. I'm certain it's the main reason why I'm treated poorly by other people. It's no surprise I have low self-esteem when I all get from people in real life is rejection and hurt.
>a bit of grooming, matching clothes and style, good haircut some perfume and confidence will get you far.
I do all of these things but they don't fix the core issue. My facial structure and features are poor. I have bad genes.
>if you wanna do surgery then please gather enough money for a good surgeon don’t go cheap.
Yeah I know
>>33803200
My only issue with going to the gym is that I don't have a spotter so it's difficult to do certain exercises like a bench press. Otherwise I would be in there yesterday. I have been to the gym before but only for 2-3 months at a time before my discipline eroded.

>>33803136 (OP)
Why does /adv needs an adv thread? Do you imagine that larpers, trolls and creative writing students will stay out of this special thread?

>>33803619
Nta but they seem to be so far

>>33803136 (OP)
What fragrance should I wear as man. What is your favorite fragrance on a man.

>>33803266
Then please save money and do the surgery if you think it would help. Also consider the gym advice from that helpful anon. I hope you become loved and attractive anon. Take much care.

>>33803619
I just wanted to make a genuine general advice thread with many questions to help anons. i hope anons don't take it in a bad way.

>>33803780
I personally love the smell of high quality exquisite Arabian oud and quality incense for they are my favourite smells. But this smell isn't for everyone so I would recommend you the famous Sauvag perfume for its such a typical recommendation but effectively good. Also maybe 1 million. I pay less attention to perfumes and more on body hygiene...etc

>>33803136 (OP)
If a woman I know so much as smiles in my general direction I develop a crush on her. How do I not do that?

>>33804147
It's unhealthy to have this view on women or anyone who simply smiles or make nice gestures but I understand that you know. Simply avoid giving back anything that could be misunderstood and busy yourself in work or around your house or so. Pay more attention to other stuff, find mobile games, connect with other co-workers, have a close friend at work...etc just fill your attention so you don’t focus on her. I wish you the best anon.

Posted this in the GIOYC thread
>>33804056
wat do

>>33804178
Intense desires for closeness to the point that it becomes disruptive and intrusive is usually a sign that you are seeking some kind of soothing from others that you are unable to do give yourself. Psychologically its the same reasons babies cry for their mothers - because they are unable to self-regulate. They can't calm themselves down or reassure themselves so they need a constant feed of it from the people around them. This is likely whats happening with you. The only way to get to the bottom of it is a meaningful relationship with a therapist over the course of many years. Our attachment styles are programmed into us from a very, very young age, around 0-3, when our brains are very much still jello. Unraveling those kinds of early developmental issues take quite a bit of work but its very possible and very accessible.

>>33804301
Thank you, anon. You putting it into words made me immediately realise exactly why I latched onto this person in particular. Kind of embarrassing that there's a foolproof "formula" that instantly makes me dependent on someone, but at least I can look out for it now.

Is health the only field where one can secure a job well paid?

you're gonna have to bear with me.
so, i do not wanna lose my virginity. the important reason is that i dont want brain damage from choking, but ive also recently learned that males hate women.
the fact that males hate women makes me a little sad cause i thought one day i might get a boyfriend who is actually like a friend to me. womp womp.
but theres one male who is so hot that it makes me not sad. like, hes so hot that i dont want him to be genuinely sweet to me, i just wanna fuck him.
is there a way to learn to see all males like this? and become so horny that im not sad anymore?

Is it possible for me to change my ways? I really embarrassed someone I like in front of their friends with my terrible rude behavior. I am very immature and say a lot of naive and mean things, a lot of the time as "jokes". It hurts me that it hurts others. I want to be a stronger, smarter, more considerate and true to my beliefs. I want to be a better friend, but I dont know how to socialize the right way.

>>33803136 (OP)
>Occult
interesting
what magic spells does an ugly retard need to perform to get a gf
i can drop my natal chart if that helps

>>33804391
The other anon gave an interesting insight. I would like to add that doing that will require someone of high understanding to accept that love. It is possible Anon, try to find someone with your same idea.

>>33804649
Anon that depends on many factors like your country and certificates...etc

but to give you a serious insight on this...if you would actually want to get well paid or even rich. I highly recommend business as a second interest at least. You need to improvise, adapt, take risks and understand how finances work. Because this field has the genuine benefits of getting you far in life if you can put hard effort into it. I met many successful doctors who are doing okay in their lifes with good houses and cars...etc but when I meet a successful businessman it's a different level you could imagine...

>>33804738
You remind me of those depressing robots on /r9k/...

why would all males hate women or all women hate males...why hate? you are what you seek and feed on. Yes there is truth to that but very little. Some weird incels/femcels hate the opposite gender but guess what...they hate everything too including themselves. Don't fall for this pit and give yourself a second chance in love and understanding. Have a change of heart and open yourself to new opportunities, once you bloom and shine you can fuck anyone you like for you would have control. Give the right presentation the right energy the vibes the looks and you shall be surprised and you will "become horny" and "men would just want to fuck you". Be sexy don't be weird.

>>33804803
You already have high understanding and criticism of yourself, congratulations, you genuinely made the first step which is that. Considering that much already shows a lot anon and I am proud of you, so please now take the second step and apologise to your friend. Tell him what you said here and see how he reacts, I am 99% sure he likes you and already forgiven you. The third step anon is to act based on the vibe and mood, it's very important when you socialise with friends to study the mood. Are you guys in a party? club? food? if its all wild then be so if not then no. It's that simple. Plus, it's better to not fake your own personality and such, stay true to yourself and improve on it do not wear a "mask" to hide any part of you. And that doesn't mean you be all rude and smug...lower it down to a healthy amount and whenever you slip apologise if needed. Maturity is not formality It's understanding. Reach this understanding with yourself and with your friends. I wish you all happy moments anon.

>>33804867
If you truly want to get a gf then do the work. Groom yourself and improve your situation a bit. Get a stable job..etc

you don’t have to go all in, just do the basics. Then you do the occult/magic for one doesn't work without the other.

Regarding that, look up the arts of seduction. Occult practice is a long long subject that I cannot explain all here. But to direct you on your quest, you simply need to follow a magical belief system like Kabbalah for example. Then understand the basics, perform the daily rituals, going on it for at least 1 month and then doing your work for if you would want lust and sex you would summom/invoke king Asmodeus for example. This whole process of going step by step through education/study and understanding is what makes a successful occultist. That or you can do any ritual on the fly immediately from Reddit or new age stuff and your chances won't be zero but very very very low...

>>33805357
What industry do you think business men triumph the most?

>>33805394
This I don’t know. My experience was varied but the major ideas are the same. To start your own work and work for yourself for your name/brand. Marketing yourself rather than marketing someone else for 50 years of your life...

Anon, please know that you could also open your own office/clinic. I just want you to understand that the outcome is far greater if you are willing to put the efforts and take the risk. There is also wisdom in not doing so. It's always your choice anon.

>>33805357
i'm horny. im basically just asking how to be hornier so i can stop being sad.
of course all males hate women lol

>>33803136 (OP)
I recently reached out to someone I had an online relationship with a few years ago, and it's sent me down a bad spiral of simultaneous guilt and grief over the person I once was. How would you navigate these emotions?

I'll admit that I was quite the asshole back then, which had a terrible impact on her. While I don't feel directly responsible for what followed, I do wish I'd been a nicer person and perhaps been present to help her through the struggles she faced during the years we weren't in touch. It's almost similar to the guilt I felt after the end of my most recent relationship.

At the same time, I caught myself reminiscing about the person I used to be. As she herself said, our time together wasn't all bad, and I then had a harder look at myself now compared to whom I once was. No longer do I value the same things in the same way. No longer do I have the meaningful, constructive connections I used to have. My hobbies haven't changed, it feels more like they have been abandoned. The person I once was didn't grow up, it's like he was killed. This feels weird, bittersweet, but coupled with the loneliness I've been feeling lately, it made me pretty sad.

>>33803136 (OP)
Is suicide the answer guys? Should i leave and see whats on the other side?

I have tried to break up with my gf several times in the last year. Most times she cries suicide and I retreat. Other times, I make excuses and forgive. This is clearly a sign that things aren't right, right? (Giving more context would take forever so just start there)

>>33809290
>Most times she cries suicide and I retreat.
This is blackmail, and you shouldn't take it. If you don't live or work together, you should be firm, say that it's not cool to say that, and that you wish she won't follow through with it, but you won't stick around to watch it.

>Other times, I make excuses and forgive.
Been there, done that. Know that you're not alone, anon, plenty of people get trapped into these relationship cycles and feel like they can't help themselves out of it. It's made worse if you weave your lives together in a way that makes non-amicable, contested breakups feel impossible.

In my case, my ex relied on me financially and we lived together. Lucky for me, she used whatever little money she had to leave and go live with her parents. Had she not done that, I'd be on the same boat by now, most likely. What can you tell us about your situation?

>>33809290
They'll never actually do it. It's a last line of defense that activates your trauma response and makes you feel bad for leaving. Don't feel bad about yourself. You're doing nothing wrong.

Get her parents involved. They'll intervene for you. Let everyone in your social circles know that you're ending things and give them an honest story. Worst case, call the police and have them do a welfare check since she's acting suicidal. She'll probably get some much needed help and/or realize she can't just use it as a cop out when she feels upset.

Get ready for lots of "I never loved you," "you ruined my life," other various one-liners that she'll blurt out. Stay strong, don't take it personally. You got this, anon.

>>33809290
theres nothing wrong with breaking up with someone.

also, coming from a feminine woman, very unlikely that she'll kill herself

>>33803190
Sewerslvt transform to miku

>>33803136 (OP)
I am convinced that this waitress at a spot I regularly go to is being friendlier to me than other customers. How do I truly know if she's giving me special treatment or if I'm simply imagining it? Is there even a way to know? She seems really sweet and I want to ask her on a date, but I also don't want to embarrass myself if I'm misreading shit.

>>33803198
Life is like a video game. People who are too socially anxious to do anything need to grind public speaking experience in safe, low level areas. Work at a fast food place or take a public speaking class. Once you realize that nothing bad (usually) happens when you are around lots of people, then your brain stops being scared of it. Your brain is scared of it right now because you think you don’t know what could happen if you appear publicly, but I do know what would happen: probably nothing of any major consequence or embarrassment. Once you realize that, you’re set forever.
Learning this lesson will hurt, though. Don’t chicken out because of the anxiety. Power through the hurt so you can come out the other side as a more confident person.
>>33813575
>waitress
>spot I regularly go to
She’s vying for tips, I’m afraid.
Try teasing her and see what she does. If she plays along she may be into you.

>>33803136 (OP)
I always seem to attract autistic girls, not the cool type, but rather the type when she talks about herself and her boring interest to you 24/7
The one Im talking too right now said she has loads of hobbies, but everytime I message her she replies back within a seconds and keeps me in conversations for hours. Would be less of a hassle if the conversations were interesting, but she cant really handle complex topics, only her bullshit everyday things that I am genuienly not interested in.
My problem now is that I feel bad stringing her along and replying to her late, but I just cant really stand texting her. And she doesnt seem to mind my late replies... what do? I wanna get rid of her

>>33810418
We live together. She makes way more money than I do. No joint financials. I have money to leave.

I just can't stand the thought of people being alone, her especially. I also don't think my life will improve much if I break up, but I'm certain I think this way because I'm simply afraid.