Thread 33834157

I'm getting married soon, and I'm happy for that, but everyone is putting this expectation that like after I get married I'm supposed to have kids.

I don't really want to have kids. My fiance and I haven't discussed it much, but I feel like he would be too busy with work to help me with raising kids and I'd rather just it be me and him together instead of complicating it by making our family bigger.

Our parents are helping us get a house, and I'm getting the impression they're doing that because they want grandchildren.

Would it be wrong of me to take their help without telling them that? I've got birth control and I don't plan on stopping it.

Have kids

>>33834157 (OP)
Then why get married?

>>33834169
Because we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together.

>>33834161
>>33834157 (OP)
You are smart to not have kids. Having kids in the current political and global climate of things is unethical. No one should have children unless they can guarantee the child will live their lives free from undue hardship and fewer people are capable of providing that by the day.

>>33834187
Then just do that.

>>33834201
That's my plan! But our parents are helping us get a new house, and I think they are doing it expecting grandkids. I didn't know if it would be wrong to accept their help when I don't plan on getting pregnant.
>>33834199
Idk I'm just selfish and don't want to share my free time dealing with anyone but my husband. I don't think about that kind of stuff, but you have a good point I think

>>33834208
How about asking directly:
>Do you have any expectations tied to helping us get this home? What are you expecting in return.
If they say nothing, that's on them. And you can always bring up that convo if they try to guilt trip you. Even take it a step further and ask if they're sure. It's not on you to put
>We expect you to have children
In their mouth. Either they truly don't have that restriction and it doesn't matter or they did and lied. It can't come back on you either way. Now if they *do* say they expect children then you better open your mouth and say your side of it.

>>33834257
>>33834208
Also you have no idea how you'll feel about it in the future. You're probably on BC and I can guarantee you're likely gonna feel a lot different once you're off it. I would advise getting off it before you get married because tricking your body into thinking it's pregnant literally changes what you're attracted to. Many women lose attraction to their man because the pregnant mind wants different things than the regular mind. Yet another reason the divorce rate is so high.

>>33834187
You don’t need a contract with the state to do that, you just want recourse to take half his shit when you eventually cheat on him (like almost every woman in every DINK couple I’ve ever know has)

>>33834268
That's just propaganda slop. Birth control doesn't affect your mind that way.

>>33834731
Fuck, you caught me! 5 seconds worth of googling won't debunk your BS at all! /s

>>33834734
Google is owned by people with an agenda. The search results are populated according to the "truth" that they want you to see. Birth control is harmless. They want to encourage a society where people are so poor off that they will become slaves to the wealthy elite. Quit being their pawn.

>>33834780
>NOTHING ON THE INTERNET CAN BE CROSS REFERENCED AND VERIFIED
god you're dumb. Birth control was literally invented by eugenicists you fucktard, lol. I'm done. Peace.

>>33834791
Good, you can take your misinfo elsewhere.
>>33834208
Tell them nothing, take the house. Take all the help you can get. Loved ones should not be giving you help with strings attached, and if they are, it's their own fault they didn't have shit down in writing

parent of multiple kids here. they are a lot of work the first 2 years but get much easier

if your relatives are giving you money for a house then it sounds like you have it easier than i did. but i wanted kids really bad and happy i had them. they make me happy most of the time. and very happy a little bit of the time. but those very high highs with kids are extremely good. like life content feelings good

>>33834157 (OP)
I know you're asking for advice about getting help from your parents but you should really talk to your fiance about it at least...

>>33834157 (OP)
Have fun dieing alone with cats, your husband will divorce you after 5-10 years and will knock up younger woman who actually wants to start a family.

>>33834199
So everyone in humans history except for the 0,00000000000001% were having children unethically, because everyone faced hardship.

>>33834731
newsflash shlomo, hormone altering drugs do in fact have an effect on the mind.

>>33834157 (OP)
Somebody has to breed and raise the next generation of goyim cattle. Most normies will happily step up to the plate and wage their life away for a chance to reproduce, might as well be you bitch.

>>33834199
Okay so then by your logic the entire 3rd world should just stop procreating right now, huh?
>insert happy merchant jpg here

>>33834199
>No one should have children unless they can guarantee the child will live their lives free from undue hardship
So you support forced eugenics being implemented against everyone based on economic status.
>muh world bad
Always has been. People have agency and can't predict the future. Having children is inherently a selfish decision initially because people are motivated to have a legacy for themselves, and want to build a family as it provides purpose for them. Your angsty doomerism is pathetic and gay.

>>33834157 (OP)
>My fiance and I haven't discussed it much
Why the fuck not? That's a pretty central premise to any relationship, especially one that turns into a marriage.
You need to know what his expectations are in marriage and if they're inline with yours before you say your vows.
That's a really dumb thing to not discuss.

>>33835977
Yes shlomo tell them, if someone has a family its only goy cattle, just be at home alone and consoom while raising cats.