>>33879867
It's the same anon. That's the secret I discovered crawling back from deep depression that was mostly sex related.
Shitty self help culture places acceptance on one side of the spectrum and change on the other. That is utter bullshit and guaranteed to keep you unhappy and a cog in the system. Change comes from acceptance, not from frustration and suffering. This is true both on an external level (you are way less attractive when you are desperate) and on an internal level (you are way less likely to work on change if you spend all your mental energy spiraling around frustration).
So first, you need to accept that your situation fucking sucks. Yep, you've missed out on some very enjoyable experiences and important developmental steps. Yep, living without sex is excruciating and there's probably something wrong with you. Give yourself the grace of accepting that you are having a very legitimate reason to suffer.
Then, notice that thinking about those issues do not solve them. It's a coping mechanism. Every time you torture yourself with those thoughts, you are actually not engaging with the issue. I would even argue you are getting some sort of twisted satisfaction doing it. At least I was.
Third step is to stop entertaining those thoughts. Notice them, accept them, remember them, and try to go on with your day. Ideally, write them down to acknowledge that they are part of your experience.
After enough practice with third step, you will start to have a clearer mind. The issues are still here, but you will have more energy. Now, you can use this energy to steer your every day life. Do the stuff that optimizes your chances today, for example meeting more people and making more friends. Notice how easier it is to make friends when you are not constantly suffering.
Worst case scenario, if you die a virgin, you'll be able to tell yourself that you really tried. And it's really all that we can do.
