Thread 33888216

first of all, happy halloween to those that had a good time yesterday, but, as you may have guessed, i ain't on 4chan to show how good of a day yesterday was

once again, i was left out. my friends, or wahtever, dunno what to call them anymore, threw a party and i wasn't invited, like always. i'm frustrated, so much, like, why? why do they do this to me? i've never hurt them yet they do these things, pretending like i don't exist, except when they need me, of course. i'm lost, what shoudl i do at this point. believe me, i have tried to leave them, like they have done with me, but i can't. everytime i delete my socials, everytime i distance myself from them i come back like a miserable dog that needs to eat or, in this case, interact. i'm tired of this, i haven't hurt myself in months, and now i feel the urge to again. i wish i had the will and virtue to stand my ground and stop this, but i can't. i've gone through this since i have memories, with my mom and dad insulting me and all that, don't wanna go too deep into it. i'm losing hope, will i ever find a happy relationship, where i can be a good person, a good friend, and have a good person, a good friend by my side?. i feel empty, like a vessel that's waiting for yet another personality to flourish and utilize it. fuck this, i am no one with all this different mes within, i've lost my own image and reflection, despite trying to avoid it. now all i can do is live with this, for as long as i can, i guess.

if you have a good friendship or relationship in general, treasure them and show them you care, take care of them and, most of all, be greateful

you're not gonna believe that i know what i'm talking about, but what you actually need is to chill. you need to cultivate a chill mentality, and you also need a good amount of time just chilling out on your own, really chilling out, not brooding or envying or wanting, just chilling. respect yourself, then try to find new people who resonate with what you are like and the things you do and enjoy.
cheerio.

>>33888216 (OP)
This happened to me bro. This happens, that's just life, isn't it? Keep going, it's not over. Friends are boring, family is better if you have younger relatives to raise.

>>33888216 (OP)
thats why I dont make friends.
not because i cant but because its useless
People betray others no matter how close they are
those people are nothing but apes clinging together to survive
Being desperate for connection only drags you lower. Down to the lowest pits of hell, remember that
Learn to live by yourself and for yourself

>>33888216 (OP)
Halloween is for kids. Stop being a grown up baby.

you sound like you're either a woman or underage. meet some new people and forget about them.

>>33888399
oh, turns out i've been trying to do exactly that lately. i've been doing taekwondo for a while (itf, not the olympic or cash grabbing one) and went to study it's encyclopedia written by the creator, which includes a lot of eastern philosophy, mainly confucianism and taoism, and that has helped me a lot to improve my overall attitude and personality.

however, things like this have always made me get anxious, frustrated and/or depressed, so it's hard to avoid it, even if i have tried to cultive these philosophies in me. though, i ended up not hurting myself, so i guess that's an improvement.

>need a good amount of time just chilling out on your own
>respect yourself, then try to find new people who resonate with what you are like

thanks anon for the good advice, i'll try

>>33888873
>Friends are boring, family is better if you have younger relatives to raise.

you're right, though having a good friend wouldn't hurt, right? either way yes it's really fun to help raise my younger nephews

>>33889115
>Being desperate for connection only drags you lower
>Learn to live by yourself and for yourself

i learned those things at a very young age (sadly), but i can't help being like this with these people. i'll try, once again, to get rid of them.

also, sounds like you've read Stirner. if that's the case then hi fellow stirnerian! =)

>>33889565
it's fun to go out with friends ^_________^

>>33889582
>either a woman or underage

lol, i'm a dude in his early 20's, but thanks for saying that, for a while i had gender dysmorphia, though now i don't really care about it

>meet some new people and forget about them

i'll try, though it may be hard. thanks anon

>>33888216 (OP)
you have friends?

>>33888216 (OP)
If they don’t invite you to any events, they do not want you around. Hopefully you are not one of those people who try to force your way into groups where you are not wanted.

>>33888216 (OP)
Smoke weed and embrace the emptiness within. That's all there is to life for some of us unlucky bastards.

literally anything would be better than forcing yourself to be treated like shit just because you want someone to be around

you said it yourself they only want you around when they need you and you don't exist otherwise

shit even socializing through VR chat would be a better option, at least there you can find randoms to talk to and distract yourself

real life friendships are a two way street and if you don't respect yourself first, no one else will

>>33892025
actually, besides those jerks, i do have a few real friends that i met in the last few years, i'm hoping i can meet more with them and stop caring about the others soon

>>33892067
>If they don’t invite you to any events, they do not want you around

i really need to tatto this into my brain and body

>Hopefully you are not one of those people who try to force your way into groups

back when i was younger, yes. now i'm not since i realized how pathetic i was, but i got these idiots as "friends"

>>33892072
thanks for the advice, but no. i've got a very strict rule to not do drugs or get into any addictions. not because of religion or even philosohpy, but because i've had to deal with people that get into them and, due to one event that happened with one of my parents getting drunk, i made a promise to myself that i'd never, ever, do any addiciton or drugs at all

>>33892087
thanks, i guess i'm afraid of missing out or being lonely, but now i don't care as much as i did before, so i hope i can finally leave them and stop being as pathetic as i'm being

>>33888216 (OP)
There's something very wrong with the world. I'd advise you to become better at being stoic and alone but that is an adaptation. It shouldn't be this hard though. We're living through a dark time and it's not even really being acknowledged. There's a terrible rot stretching through everything and we have to kill it if there's to be any hope of a brighter future.

>>33893323
Find another friend group that you actually get along with and you’ll forget about your former “friends” in no time.

>>33895887
well, stoicism and loneliness are two different things, unless you are talking about pseudo-stoicism in which case, nah.

>There's a terrible rot stretching through everything and we have to kill it if there's to be any hope of a brighter future.

that's quite dramatic

>>33896652
yup, i'll try to do that, maybe i'll save some money and go out with my actual friends this week, thanks for the advice anon

>>33888216 (OP)
Pretty much what this guy said >>33888399 except I've used this in terms of finding a girl. So that she isn't my top priority or make myself dependent on having a girlfriend in order to be happy. You need to learn to be happy on your own and then let other people in.
I am in a similar situation as you are, if not the same one. I don't trust my "friends", they keep me accompany but they are not someone I'd trust my life into. Treat them professionally and joke if they joke with you. If they don't invite you then so be it, you'll find better friends and then you will put the current group as number two and make them realize how much they've hurt you, if they even care at all. You could confront them about why haven't they invited you if it isn't too awkward, although I believe that in this distressed time you would not care about it and should just ask anyway.
I know what you're going through. Learn that they aren't all that important and be happy with yourself.

>>33888216 (OP)
I'm in a situation like this except I don't care about not being invited to their parties. Wondering if I will be one day or not, idk. They talk about those in front of me and I don't get invited lol. I'm not trying to desperately be a suck up and walk around with them, they invite me over to sit with them at uni etc. I'm not being disrespected or made fun of in front of everyone either. What's up with that and what is their plan exactly? Are they checking if I'm cool enough or something, if I'm normal or if they can vibe with me?

>>33900282
>You need to learn to be happy on your own and then let other people in.

i do have a great time being alone, been used to that for a while, but i've always sort of hoped to find a nice friend group to be in, i guess that's why i'm still with them

>You could confront them

hell nah, not because i'm afraid or anything, it's just that i don't wanna look like i'm begging for them to include me, and also i know from experience that confronting people that have wronged you it's worthless unless they are decent human beings

>Learn that they aren't all that important and be happy with yourself.

thanks anon!

>>33900584
>what is their plan exactly?

from my experience, they probably see you as the "secondary" or "backup" friend, which basically means they get along with you, but use you when they're bored, and as soon as anything better comes up they'll forget about you. ask yourself this: will they care/have they cared about me, like if i didn't show up for a while? would they help me if i needed them? remember, a true friendship is about liking and also worrying about the other person, it's about being with them when they're well and when they're not, and it has to be reciprocal

>>33902329
>they probably see you as the "secondary" or "backup" friend, which basically means they get along with you, but use you when they're bored, and as soon as anything better comes up they'll forget about you.
wow you're fucking right. When trying to be helpful towards them or ask about anything they began being somewhat mean with their tone meaning they really don't give a fuck about me to the slightest. I'll ditch them when the time is right.

>>33888399
I do believe this person knows what he's talking about. And the advice is the best I can Imagine for OP.

Control is a mirage. Everybody is out doing their thing. You don't deserve to be invited. Good deeds come from an intention to give, not to take back.

Also, what you seek is out there

>>33904759
>You don't deserve to be invited.
Sorry, what I truly meant to say is, wherever you aren't wanted is not a place you want to be in anyway. Seek people who enjoy your company

>if you have a good friendship or relationship in general, treasure them and show them you care, take care of them and, most of all, be greateful

Okay I'll go do that then.

>>33904691
>I'll ditch them when the time is right.

believe me, now's the time. the longer you take the more difficult it'll be to get away from them, good luck anon

>>33904759
>>33904772
thanks, i'll try to chillout and find better people to hang around with, thanks anon

>>33904803
i'm glad for you! cherish them and have a good time =)

>>33888216 (OP)
Just so you know, you shouldn't poison your outlook on people because the majority of them tends to be shit. The real trick here is to find equal social rejects that will get along with you. The "normal people" are really shallow, my situation is that they get jealous when I'm not hanging out with them and don't really realize I'm there with them when I'm actually there. They make fun of one weird guy or something to boost their morale, idk it's very tribal and primitive, quite childish too. I hardly find groups that have similar interests, even despite trying to talk to alt girl they really are just mentally ill and want to fuck while having double digit bodycount lol. It's hard but you'll find someone, I've been such a fucking social reject and still managed to have a girlfriend for example, not one to begin with.

>>33909156
you're right, now that i remember my best friends have always been the "weirdos", sadly i no longer am in contact with them, except one which i met a couple years ago

>still managed to have a girlfriend for example, not one to begin with

i also did! but i fucked it all up! =") (also, good for you anon, glad you were able to get some nice girlfriends!)

>>33912147
Don't worry the relationship had ended for me as well. But one thing you should remember regarding people and why they leave you out is that no matter how well you would get yourself to be in terms of looks, physique, hygiene, attitude - it just doesn't matter because they will spot random things about you. They will notice how you walk or talk or behave, things you don't even notice. So really don't make yourself think "what did I do" because you have done nothing wrong, it quite literally is the people around. I haven't had a single friendgroup where people weren't just shallow snakes that tried disrespecting me more and more. Since I am good natured I really like to help people with everything really, I literally go out of my way to help them even if it means that I might be held back in the project a little for example. And because of that people take it as you are weak, I know it's weird but it's true. Help people only when they deserve it, don't try to be helpful or they'll just use you.
I have no clue how to help you since I am in the exact same situation as you are. But at least I can let you know that you've got yourself nothing to blame for, it really is just something that normies sniff out.

>>33912174
>because you have done nothing wrong, it quite literally is the people around.

thanks anon, you're right, people are usually like that :(

>Help people only when they deserve it

yup, i also learned this lesson the hard way, it sucks but what can i do about it

>I have no clue how to help you since I am in the exact same situation as you are.

don't worry anon! i appreciate your advice, it's good to be able to tal to people that have gone or are going through the same shit, makes the situation be a little bit more bearable

>But at least I can let you know that you've got yourself nothing to blame for, it really is just something that normies sniff out.

thanks, guess i really gotta learn how to choose my relationships overall now, thanks again for the advice anon! <3