Thread 33896995

>What is /htgwg/?
How to Get Women General is by men, for men, about women, so bring all of your questions about getting and dealing with women here. Some anons on this site actually get laid, and some of them even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date women, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro.

>What is /htgwg/ not?
These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, volcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating women is hard today, and even harder for some, but /htgwg/ is for trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, give up, or insist there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can pollute. BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!

>How to ask for advice
Context is important: be more specific than "This girl ghosted me, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, this chick was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with the girl? How long have you known her? Any conversation screenshots? Etc... Don't forget to ask an actual question.

>Resources and Books
https://wingman.live/ (AI dating coach)
https://pdfcoffee.com/318797392-mark-manson-models-2016pdf-4-pdf-free.html
https://archive.org/details/robert-glover-no-more-mr-nice-guy-id-353324692-size-612
https://www.youtube.com/@YourWingmam
https://www.doctornerdlove.com/blog/
https://pastebin.com/7U5Sdhwq (Leykis 101)
https://dokumen.pub/why-women-deserve-less-firstnbsped-1467978302-r-1917433.html
https://www.fantasticanachronism.com/p/how-to-be-good-at-dating
(new suggestions with working links are welcome)

REMEMBER: It's good to read and prepare, but don't overdo it. Get off this site: go learn and build up your social skills by meeting actual women in the real world.

Prev: >>33874509

I'm dating but why does losing my girl best friend give me heartache?

>>33897028
Probably because you might have unresolved feelings for her.

Sex and war are two variations of the same act; it's why both traumatize children when exposed. They require the same mindset.

My first first date tomorrow

How do you initialize hand holding on a date? Just say to the girl "can I hold your hand?" or something?

>>33897353
What, are you gonna ask her if you can use the restroom too? Just grab it.

>>33897403
I'm not a perma virgin I had sex with a chinese girl this summer

>>33897353
offer her your hand, just grabbing her hand is strange. offering gives her the choice, still makes you the active one, and avoids the awkwardness of asking

Just matched with a girl with nothing on her profile but says interested in "short term fun". How do I go in from there? I don't want something too cheesy. Her photos are just selfies with nothing in the background

>>33897568
weird foreign girls don't count

When can I talk about exclusivity with a girl? After how many dates?

Found out a girl in class I tried talking to was only 17 years old. I can understand why she doesn't talk to others.

>>33897829
Thats something she brings up with you if you're worth half a shit. Bringing it up yourself is asking for cuckoldry
>b-baby pwease dont weave me ;_;

>>33897850
This is the faggiest advice ever. You want exclusivity just tell her upfront like a man “hey, do you wanna be bf/gf/exclusive/whatever?”, you have a mouth, use it. Half the problem you losers have in dating is obeying these dumb rules to not look “less masculine” instead of just doing whatever the fuck you want.

>but what if she gets the ick and dumps me

If she’s retarded enough to drop you because you asked her if she wanted to be exclusive then who cares? Can’t fix stupid. Next her and find a hotter chick. But I can guarantee you that most normal girls won’t do that shit.

>>33897829
Exclusivity is a given from the first date.

>>33897885
Using assertive language and freakin' epic reddit-approved Mark Manson style cuss words doesn't strengthen your point.
>Look, if you wanna cum really fuckin hard, go ask Jerome if he'll fuck your wife. Be a real fuckin man and use your big boy words, capeesh?

>>33897895
Not in the year 2025 its not

>>33897903
It sure as hell is. And if they’re not of the same mind, you walk.

>>33897922
You are smoking fucking filtered crack lmao
Oh well, more dudes acting fucking retarded and scaring the hoes away means more easy pussy for me

>>33897896
And resorting to every burger's favorite go-to insult of cuckery because other men's dicks live rent free in your head doesn't strengthen yours.

Get some actual experience with dating women first before posting kiddo.

i havent done it yet
but i suspect going around and being with a bunch of women romantically/sexually
is a healthy/good thing for your development as a man/human being
it's gotta be better than gooning in your phone or computer!

last week i randomly met a girl i havent seen in a long while who was dating one of my friends 10 years ago, thing is i always had a thing for her, we chatted up a bit and today i decided to message her on ig, she took a while to respond and when she did she apologized cause she took her time and that her grandmother was in the hospital yesterday, thing is i dont know how to approach this situation, was the grandmother thing an excuse, a hint or what should i do moving forward

>>33897337
Dinner date? And what's your age?

>>33897650
Just shoot your shot. There are millions of them. Lose the idea that there's ONE particular chick for you. Learn what works and doesn't. Keep going. If you really want to learn, cold approach IRL. That'll put hair on your chest real quick.

>>33898230
You need to start cold approaching. Stay off apps. Learn how to do it IRL. Get real skills.

>>33898646
Be direct, ask her out. You'll get the answer you want faster. If she's into you, it doesn't matter if the grandma excuse was real. If she's not into you, it doesn't matter if the grandma excuse was real. It makes literally no difference.

>>33897829
You don't. You always let her bring that up, always.

Ask women out. It's that simple.

>>33897353
>>33897384
>>33897623
You'll know
In my experience, you start walking close together, then you start kind of brushing arms and hands casually, then yeah that's you're signal to take her hand in yours.
INTERLACED FINGERS. Don't be a fucking gorilla and just grab it, put some effort and intimacy into it. If she pulls away there was a 90% chance you were gonna strike out anyway.
I've dated women in their 40s and they still do this grade school bullshit. Just let your body communicate, and if like me you're autistic add a few pre-date shots of liquor into the mix

>>33898873
>Just experience 100 rejections of varying brutality to get that one yes. It's that simple.
Daily reminder most dating advice is given by Indians who are low-brained and shamelessly horny

Women won't ask you out but they will make it obvious. The woman who makes it obvious will be sucking your cock on the second date, the woman you "just asked out" will put you through a month of bullshit before letting you tongue kiss.

repeating my post here just because

a friend ive been somewhat close to the last couple of years is going trough a divorce, how can i improve my chances of bedding her once she inevitably starts riding the cock carousel? im decently looking and been working out for years so im very fit, but we hang out and talk over text messages a lot and shes always calling me friend, and shes very hot and already told me a lot of guys are asking her out, i think she sees me as a brother, also were both the same height so that kinda sucks for me i guess

>>33898892
>Just experience 100 rejections of varying brutality to get that one yes. It's that simple.
Uhh, most rejections are just
>no thanks
>Sorry, I have a boyfriend
You're massively overestimating how important you are to have a normal girl waste energy "brutally" rejecting some man she doesn't know. The only ones who *might* be brutal are the obviously vapid whores you shouldn't even be wasting time talking to anyway. But it's alright, you can keep fucking your fist in your mom's basement, because clearly *that's* the right option.

Meanwhile I literally started cold approaching last week and already have gotten numbers.

>>33898970
You need to stop. You've played the "I'll be her friend and hope it grows" game. You talk to her too much. You basically act just like her girlfriends. Not in that you're feminine. Just in that you do the shit with her that she could do with her girlfriends. That's why she sees you as a brother. Height doesn't matter. That's fake news. If she likes you, height doesn't matter. If she doesn't like you, being over 6ft won't change anything. I've literally seen videos where one second the chick says "you need to be over 6 ft" and the next second, she's choosing the shorter of two dudes, who obviously isn't even 6 ft. You need to get out, start cold approaching women, and leave this divorcee alone. You're not willing to do anything that would end the friendship and are therefore not willing to do what it would take to bed her. Drop this idea.

>>33898970
does she see you as a herbivore or not?
in other words: have you had a steady stream of girlfriends while your were friends with her?

>>33899078
thanks, i guess i just needed to hear it from someone else, you are definitely right

>>33899057
OK SAAAAAR GOOD LUCK TO YOU FOR GET BYOO-TEE-FA-OOL WHITE WOMHAN!

>>33897838
Like college class? What is the actual age gap here?

Friendly reminder to ask her out as soon as possible.

>>33898886
The time and place thing only works if you're 6'+ with a chad face btw. Even if she's into you women only like treatment like that from a specific kind of man. I say this as someone who does get dates and sex this approach just does not work if you don't have a very particular look/vibe.

>>33898795
Nah more like late lunch. We're both 20

>>33898806
thanks for advice i dont care about rejection but in this particular case id be pretty hurt and there are already a lot of redflags like she took 12 hours to respond and then this grandma thing really lost atm

I just turned 29 and I've just started to get my shit together. It'll probably take me 2 years to really have my shit together. Some things I have going for me are,

>fully paid off house bc both my parents passed away
>decent car and some savings
>I just finished my degree but no job yet
>I started going to the gym this year

By the time I get a good body, a good job, and deal with the trauma from my parents passing (I'm still depressed as hell and have shit mental health bc of this) I assume I'll be 32. I worry I'll be too old to get a decent young girl (22 - 27) to have a family with. Am I fried for thinking this? Any advice to improve my chances?

>>33899479
>Already a lot of redflags
Like what bro?
>I don't care about rejection but I care about rejection from her
You're beginning to sound like an AI bot.

>>33899486
I knew a girl who was madly in love with a depressed alcoholic guy who was in and out of being homeless

>>33899486
I can't comment on the parents situation but the rest literally doesn't stop you from getting girls right now. Just dont traumadump on the 2nd date.

>>33897896
Ngl you just sound pathetic

>>33899569
What's really holding me back is that I don't have a job right now and my mental health is shit. Idk if I could get a decent girl before fixing these things. But maybe it's the lack of confidence bc of these things.

>>33899486
>32 is too old
Bro. Men don't have a biological clock like women do. And honestly, we don't reach our prime until our 40s. You're literally just getting started. The only thing that will stop you from getting young women is yourself (not thinking you can).

>just turned 27
>only 3 girlfriends before. 2 were abusive relationships. One was a great relationship but we were both young, she was super religious, and basically we just wanted different things out of life
Is it over for me? Im an awkward introvert. I never liked going to bars or clubs or whatever. Am i just completely unable to learn the skills needed to actually get women? Ive been working on myself, going outside more, started exercising(was never fat but i was out of shape), but my lack of social skills keeps lingering in the back of my head making me think all of this is pointless. I know this sounds like demoralization but i am hopeful. Have any of you here had a glowup this late in your dating life? What did you start doing? How did you learn to flirt? I dont believe if youre on 4chan you were always a chad, so what did you do?(And yes 27 is old people i know have been hooking up and dating since 13, im fucking 14 years behind them. No whatever you say wont change reality)

>>33899637
>is it over for me?
No. Not reading all that. The answer is just no.

>>33899645
>is
Not reading the rest of that sorry

>>33899135
Yeah, a calculus class. A group I was studying with are in their early twenties, I'm in my 30s.

>>33896995 (OP)
There's a new girl at work
she's very very cute, in a kind of awkward clearly autistic way
we are the only 2 below 30 (21f 29m) so she quickly warmed up to me and we spend a lot of the shift if there's no clients chatting away

she seems to have quite a few male best friends, altho she says she's not interested in them; she's also a fervent feminist, and has said that her therapist thinks she's probably mostly lesbian, especially romantically, but she's not sure, so I'm 99% sure she just sees me as friendly (we've worked side by side for 3 afternoons, will see her next weekend as she studies the other days, didn't ask for any contact info)

all of these can def be considered very reddish red flags, but I'm so starved for companionship or anything that I'm obviously starting to catch feelings already, think about her way too much

should I just play it passively and see if she makes any move? should I just cut contact and push her away at work so I don't waste my time and emotions getting my hopes up?
I'm very conflicted

>>33899827
What's there to be conflicted about? Make a move or find someone who doesn't think she's gay.

>>33899827
All of those are awful red flags
>should I just play it passively and see if she makes any move?
If passive goes into any of your gameplans then its a no. Just move on, treat her as a friend. If youre not looking for friends then shes just a coworker to talk to and nothing else. Best you shpukd hope for that she invites you to hang out as a group and you meet another girl there, but being realistic the age gap probably means that wont happen.

>>33899848
Yeah... the more I re-read it the more retarded I sound
I guess I just find her "energy" really attractive, and when I think about it in my head I kind of gloss over the red flags
I only met her 3 times; I need to fucking download a dating app or something, I can't feel like this just because I get the smallest drop of friendliness from a cute girl fuck

>>33899851
Her group from her description sounds like it's mostly guys (a high % of trans apparently) and they drink a lot while I don't drink any alcohol, so I wouldn't accept an invite anyway
I'll consciously try and do my best to treat her as just a friendly co-worker to pass away the boredom
I hope I can

>>33899882
Im glad you realized youre worth more than going after a literal praying mantis.

>>33898852
Really? Why?

Anons I need your guidance:
I met a cute Belarusian girl last week while I was out drinking with friends. She seemed really nice and we exchanged contacts.
But when I texted her she seemed really cold with short replies and didn‘t write much. I assumed she wasn‘t interested anymore after the alcohol wore off, so I asked her out just to be sure.
To my surprise she actually said yes.

So now my questions:
1. Is her being cold over text a cultural thing and just I misread it as a lack of interest?
2. I have been told before that (Bela-)Russian women expect flowers on a first date. Should I bring any, will she be disappointed if I don’t or might she think it’s weird/trying too hard since we are not in Eastern Europe?

Both early 20s, if it matters.

If any Russians or those who have dated any could enlighten me that would be very helpful. Any general advice is also greatly appreciated

>>33899389
How do you know it's a date?

>>33900134
There is no way to know the answers about "coldness". For all you know, that's just how she texts and you're reading into it too much. Drop that line of thinking completely and focus on what's real: you asked her out and she said yes. My question is: how did you ask her out?
> Should I bring any, will she be disappointed if I don’t or might she think it’s weird/trying too hard since we are not in Eastern Europe?
Do not bring flowers to the first date. You are not in Belarus. We don't even know if you've asked properly to indicate that it's even a date. If she likes you, it won't matter that you didn't bring flowers. If she doesn't like you, bringing flowers won't change anything.

>Any other advice
Be a man. Don't be a people-pleaser. Express your opinion even if it differs from hers. Don't be afraid to tell her no no. Don't do the "lets be friends and let it grow into a relationship" thing because treating her like a friend is how you become....friends. So many dudes do that and wonder why they're in the friendzone.
>What? You mean doing the same shit she does with her girlfriends for a whole year doesn't express my undying love for her??!!!??! How could she not see that love was right under her nose???
Because that "love" never expressed sexual interest one singular time.