Thread 33903720

I’m a woman in my 24. I previously had 3 relationships and my last one abused me really bad. The other 2 were soft and well behaved and caring but missed the ‘excitement’ in a relationship. My last one dragged me by my hair, gave me nose bleeding, treated me like shit, was toxic as hell, abusive, violent, made me cry the most, blamed me for everything, raped me etc.

But somehow i loved and missed him more than my other 2 exes. How is that even possible? Do i have mental illenss issues?

>>33903720 (OP)
Monster is bad for you. Hava macha latte, instead.

>>33903725
Matcha tastes like grass, really tried to like it for the aesthetics

Ima a matcha nigga man… I like this shit man… it’s smoother it’s cooler it’s matcha nigga!!

Matcha is for faggots

>>33903725
i only drink monster once a week, is that enough?

How about not touching energy drinks at all? Fucking fat retards.

>>33904003
becuae tasty

>>33903720 (OP)
Monster is a shit drink.

>>33903720 (OP)
>How is that even possible? Do i have mental illenss issues?

Could be childhood trauma, could be a BDSM type. Hard to say based off the information given

How's your relationship with your father?

Sounds like you'll date anyone, hopefully one of them kills you.

What happened to good old coffee?

>>33903720 (OP)
I hate women.

KONG STRONG

>>33903720 (OP)
I don't know how to describe it, but there's an intensity to abusive intimacy that's missing from functional relationships. It's intoxicating to be subsumed by another person's desires, consciously or otherwise. Sometimes it's because it triggers some distant half-remembrance; other times, it's simply because it feels good.

Perhaps a rather crude example, but my ex-girlfriend let me rape her while she was unconscious. It was consensual, of course, but it was a mutually beneficial arrangement that fulfilled parts of us that we would have had great difficulty baring to other people. We simply agreed upon it, seeing as our interests were aligned. Abusive relationships often aren't like this, with one or both parties being unaware that they're in a toxic dynamic - but that doesn't stop your from feeling that fulfillment that's difficult to find in "normal relationships". Not that I'm advising you to pursue dysfunctional relationships.

Hopefully this makes sense.

>>33903720 (OP)
I think so, yeah. It is likely that due to the violence, you've grown a more intense feeling towards the abuser, but I mean, did you really need me to tell you to just escape outta that shit?
If you are into being dominated, look for people like that, but not fucking abusers, you're only going to get more traumatized and in the long run you'll be miserable (more so than now).

>>33905233
>my ex-girlfriend let me rape her while she was unconscious
That's just insane. I'm super jealous of you, dude.

>>33903720 (OP)
Youre some masochistic bitch or something like that. You're probably traumatized.

>>33903720 (OP)
You need to learn self love.

>>33904821
This is obviously bait. Women may think like this but never consciously. And it’s not even unique to women; abusive relationships reduce you to a simpering faggot who begs for more (love, not abuse) who only gets these crazy mixed-up kernels that keep you starving but enough to keep going.

>>33903720 (OP)
Have some self respect.
Enjoying abuse isn't normal.

>>33903720 (OP)
Woo! High five! What a thread.

OP — you are experiencing an emotional/chemical transference because of the intense way abuse fucks up your head —— it rewires your brain. Think rats pushing buttons for Cheerios, gambling addicts sitting at a slot machine for 12 hours, drug and alcohol addiction— all the same thing on a neurological level. Abuse hits very similar triggers. It’s not love, it’s not a relationship, it’s an addiction. He knows it too, guaranteed.

Don’t romanticize someone hurting you because it creates a “thrill”. Learn the difference between a healthy relationship and being used.

>>33904671
I don’t really have childhood trauma

>>33904682
My relationship with my dad is actually good

>>33904806
He said he would kill me too many times. It made me wet.

>>33903720 (OP)
I remember I would get hard when my ex girlfriend was nice to me.
Women are evil creatures.

>>33903720 (OP)
I dream of finding a woman like you that wants it, but doesn't realize it. Normal people fuck and pop out a kid maybe and then get divorced, I want to make her rather die than be without me spitting in her mouth.

>>33903720 (OP)
>Do i have mental illenss issues?
yes

>>33903720 (OP)
There are /soc/ threads to find abusive relationships