Thread 33904556

I am in a pendulum right now, just like Tolstoy, more than 150 years ago, I have found myself in what is supposed to be a very comfortable existence with a loving family and a job; and just like him this has provoked in me a feeling of horror to my own death; the nothingness; and why stay alive and not just kill myself. God has helped but every time I get closer to filling that void with God and feeling once again alive, I return to my more Atheistic tendencies, to trying to reason with the unknowledgeable that is non-existence.

My question in this thread is then if any of you have ever been in this sort of journey that Tolstoy and I took? I have so many unknowns especially around theology (the contradiction within and the fact that he was Orthodox and Im a Catholic) or how to remain Christian even when I start to get better and not feel like a farse I cannot mantain?

>>33904556 (OP)
Have you ever dated a tranny?

>>33904556 (OP)
It's a constant uphill battle, you overcome lust, then it's greed and wrath, you overcome those, and you feel superior, you can't humble yourself.
Nothing in the world is guaranteed, so be thankful for everything you have now. As demonstrated by the book of Job -" The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord".
As an engineering student i've had my own share of this, much work, only a few hours of sleep, and i think "If i accept Christ, i also have to accept the eternal life, to do this for all eternity i don't want to, i want to give up" but this exact sentiment is what Christ called us to do.
I can say that i understand you, but it's always a perpetual fight, the devil tempts us all, but only by not giving him peace will we be on the right way!

>>33904556 (OP)
Have you even read Toлcтoй

>>33904616
I mean, I guess reading the Confession doesn't make me a real Tolstoy connoisseur; but for all I read in it just clicks with me. The feeling that this life is a joke and that follow Epicurus just means to ignore the question all together. X equals X.
That reason alone couldn't give him a reason to keep living, and had to search for Faith.
I don't know if that counts as me misunderstanding his struggle with this, but... oh well.

>>33904587
No, I have not. I guess I wouldn't mind per se.
I know there's a schism in protestant denominations over this.
Denouncing Trannies as the root of all evil wouldn't be in my plans to get better, desu.

>>33904556 (OP)
I read that book, “The Kingdom of God is Within You.” Good shit. Guy knows how to write a seventeen page paragraph. That’s for sure. It is tough. For me, I explored the idea of death to the point of boredom. Now I can ignore it and let it surprise me. Atheism is no escape from the idea of Jesus.