Thread 33906094

I'm struggling in all aspects of building and maintaining relationships/friendships because I'm too scared to get to know people.
I also developed terrible coping mechanisms so that makes me feel like a freak even more.

I'm like stuck in the middle where I'm too autistic for most normal people but too normal to get along with autists.

After researching, I'm pretty sure it all stems from my childhood and lack of support growing up, but now that I'm in my 30s how tf do I fix it?

>>33906094 (OP)
saem

Ya know, if I ever put myself out there enough, I could probably score a girl like this (I’ve done it before but she initiated everything because she was really into me for some reason) but I’m so focused on work and making music. Idk I hate that my brain constantly oscillates between wanting to love someone and sticking to that which brings me lots of satisfaction already

if its some consolation, Im in the exact same boat. parents had no interest in raising me, I grew up in a room with the internet for 18 years. Im very attractive and tall, but it doesnt matter, in the end nothing can fix childhood neglect. Late 20s and despite my looks Ive never experienced intimacy, not even a single kiss, not a date, nothing. It can happen to anyone. If I had to guess therapy by a male psychologist would be the only way out, if you could afford it. I cant, so solitude is my eternal existence.

>>33906094 (OP)
This has nothing to do with your childhood most likely but brain damage.

>>33906094 (OP)
Check out Sam vaknin on youtube and see if anything clicks for you

He is a treasure trove of information for comprehending the ambient abuse of neglect and how to recover from collapse. Goodluck anon, and learn to love yourself. I am a stranger and I wish you a bountiful harvest of human connection and prosperity of your true self. Take care.

>>33906094 (OP)
Take stock of the stations that make you uncomfortable, focus on that feeling and identify it. What is it exactly you feel? Work backwards and identify situations that made you feel very strongly that way. As you work back keep in mind your reactions note may not be justified but as you do go back they May become more reasonable reactions to situations that might be harsh culminating in finding the catalyst event, one thing where that feeling you have didn’t appear before that point. It’s usually something that’s pretty extreme like emotional or physical abuse. Look at the later reactions you had in the context of the fist thing that caused it, you might feel embarrassed at the way you acted but it’s important to remember that you can’t know what you don’t know and shouldn’t feel guilty over it, your goal should be to use your rational mind to stop yourself when you feel uncomfortable or insecure around other people to separate out the feeling caused by that unrelated event from the past so you can judge the situation correctly and act appropriately and not like you’re going to die if you talk to the cashier at the grocery store or whatever problem stops you from being comfortable in public