Thread 33907599

My girlfriend doesn't want anything sexual anymore. Our sexual activity has decreased in the past year, I've learnt to accept that sex is just not that common anymore, blowjobs are once in a blue moon, and handjobs are the way she can give me sexual pleasure almost daily. However yesterday we had a "fight" in which she told me I insist too much on getting some action (handjob at least) and that when she tells me no I shouldn't try to insist anymore. She said I was harassing her by doing that and almost making it seem like she's obligated to do that. It makes me feel... like a fucking wimp, to have to beg for sexual action, be called a harasser by my girlfriend, and in the end having to pleasure myself after fucking begging for any type of sexual contact. She's losing weight, taking medications for cysts that mess up her hormones, as well as ADHD medication, so I can understand the low libido. But now it's pretty clear that she wants no sexual contact in any way whatsoever and she doesn't want me to even ask for it. She also got mad because I told her that I've done a lot of things for her (like taking care of our dogs so she could sleep more, washing dishes more often than her, taking her to a nice restaurant) and that maybe she could reciprocate these actions in even a fucking handjob, but she said it was sexist to expect that and that I do those things because I also enjoy them and just for being nice. I feel like a fucking idiot, reverting back to teenage years were masturbation is all I had, I feel like I just want to stop my sexuality in all its aspects, the thought of another sloppy handjob disgusts me. There's a hole in my stomach and I don't know what to do anymore, I've accepted there won't be anything sexual for me for a while, I don't even want to cheat since yesterday's talk just put off my libido, now I feel guilt when I think of sex.

>>33907599 (OP)
That is sad. Like I take lexapro and strattera and my libido dropped too but there are always ways to change meds, add some and stuff.. Also calling you a harasser for this. Weird.

>>33907599 (OP)
She's getting railed by Chad as we speak

Dump that fucking entitled hoe

>>33907599 (OP)
You have to understand that if you break up she'll have a rebound lined up before the end of the season. The reality is a "monogamous" relationship where kids aren't a very serious plan are less serious than a marriage and tending towards either debauchery, power plays or pure transactionality.
It's this way because it necessarily implies trading away your opportunities to have kids for short term crap. I suggest you nut up and stop taking this relationship any more seriously than that it guarantees you offspring, then you'll have the distance and personal space to decide if you want to continue it before the end of the month.

>>33907599 (OP)
>She said I was harassing her by doing that and almost making it seem like she's obligated to do that.
Women have this weird thing where they believe a sexless relationship is perfectly fine, and don't find the lack of desire to be a problem. Of course, the reason men and women have relationships is to abstain from sex.

>>33907819
it's like a findom relationship where he gets to do services for her in return for her keeping his cock in a cage

>>33907599 (OP)
She isn't very empathic to your needs and wrong to call you a harasser. It is normal to want your partner to be sexual attracted to you. Try explaining it in this way: instead of saying I want more sex, say that you want her to be sexually attracted to you because that's part of a fulfilling relationship. And if she isn't sexually attracted to you, man, why are you even together, just break up

>>33907599 (OP)
>I told her that I've done a lot of things for her (like taking care of our dogs so she could sleep more, washing dishes more often than her, taking her to a nice restaurant) and that maybe she could reciprocate these actions in even a fucking handjob

This is bad man.
There are good and bad things in life. Examples:

Good: Bad:
Fun Work
Games Chores
Teasing Pressure
Arousal Stress

Sex should be in the first zone, and come naturally after two good spirited horny people flirt with and tease each other.
You are pushing it to the second zone. This will not end well.
Stop thinking at sex as something transactional, or something you need from her.
If she's not in the mood, you (both) need to get in the mood first, and you don't get there by being pushy or demanding.
Guaranteed.
Use the carrot, man.

I've been there. There's likely something to work on in the relationship first. As a team. Focus on that, and better times will come

>>33908003
Fuck, separators. Sorry
Good/Bad
Fun/Work

etc

>>33907599 (OP)
Well one thing you are right about, you are a fucking idiot for putting up with her. Sounds like she isn't cheating but is just a classic ssri demon. Tell her to get her shit straight, either:
-Get healthy and be a functioning individual
-fight through your low libido and dont be a lazy bitch, blowjobs and handjobs require no libido from her side
-agree to be a cuckquean and let you release your load into someone else

Or you're breaking up. Simple as

>>33907599 (OP)
Don't rape her while she's asleep because that would be illegal

>>33908039
>classic ssri demon
so real
everyone i know thats on ssris has an inflated sense of self it is like they forget their place in the world and act like niggers to everyone
then they blame it on the ssris
ssri niggers should be beaten

>>33907599 (OP)
Break up, that relationship cannot recover.

Then develop beyond only physical interest and try with somone else.

>>33907599 (OP)
Pussy is like cars, once it stops working for you it's time to trade it in for an upgrade

>>33907599 (OP)
Women love rape try that

I was so horny I asked my wife to just place her hand in my lap and she pulled it away like I was radioactive and said no. Shit sucks OP I feel you.

>>33907599 (OP)
each day you don't have sex, glue a new bbc poster to the wall

>>33908359
>Pussy is like cars
>Why don't women want to have sex with me?
really activates the almonds

>>33907599 (OP)
Break up with her. Shes an intimacy anorexic. Stop having premarital sex.

I knew I shouldn't have clicked on this thread
>>33907599 (OP)
if your girlfriend isn't in the mood then making sex into something she owes you because you did the dishes or whatever is not going to help

I'll give some /adv/, although I think it is wasted on OP because that relationship sounds doomed.

Oldfag, married for 5 years, with my wife for nearly 15 years. We have always had a mismatched sex drive with mine being higher. This has caused conflict similar to OP, and the more pushy I was the more she withdrew. We've talked about it at length (not recommended, there is no way to not come off as begging for sex) and we've settled into sex being rare, but intense, and only when we are both in the mood. In practice, this means whenever she's in the mood because even though I'm pushing 40 I'm still good to go anytime anywhere. My wife is generally only interested in sex when she is ovulating. That's it. That's the secret. If I don't put pressure on her, and even show some disinterest throughout the month, she will likely have urgent pussy drenched sex with me at some point. If I act like a needy bitch or talk about my "needs", dry as a desert. Maybe that's not fair, but I'm at peace with having good sex at most once or twice a month, rather than terrible sex slightly more often. For me, leaving is out of the question, because I love her, she's a great mom, partner, and cook, but most importantly because I swore an oath. If your situation is different, you may want to jump ship, but keep in mind the bush may not be greener in someone else's valley.

>>33908472
Whiteknight detected.

Not him, but why do you guys all sound the same?

>>33907599 (OP)
>taking medications for cysts that mess up her hormones, as well as ADHD medication
That'd do a lot to mess with a person. It's good you're aware of it.

>took care of our pets and did chores
You should be doing this anyway, because both of you are adults that need to look after your pets, house, and messes. You do them because they need to be done and you're responsible for them, not because you want things from the other person, man.

>using a gift as a bargain chip
Brooo, don't bring up something nice you did as a weapon. You do nice things for each other because you care and want to do nice things for the other person, not because you're hoping to get sex and favors out of it. Between this and the above, I can see why a chick wouldn't be interested even without the meds. >>33908003 is right, it isn't a business transaction where you buy obligation from the other person like a product. Relationships have 2 sides like a bridge, and if one side isn't feeling it or reciprocating, it falls in the river. Sounds like sex is super important to you and you're horny constantly, and lack of access is turning you into a moody sex pest. This is automatically at odds with your girlfriend if she isn't interested, and then getting pushed even further away by her souring mood toward this shit. You'd need someone with a high libido that thinks sex is as important as you do.

Sometimes people change or just aren't compatible, and it's better to part while you can still do it on good terms and move on instead of making each other increasingly miserable. Have an actual sit down and do what's best for the both of you. If you can't figure out a lasting compromise everyone's happy with, then yeah consider breaking it off. Sauce: been been together for 14 years.

>>33911897
>interested in sex when she is ovulating
Also this, they get horny before their periods. Not every time, but often.

>>33907599 (OP)
>I've done a lot of things for her (like taking care of our dogs so she could sleep more, washing dishes more often than her, taking her to a nice restaurant)

Theres nothing wrong with helping out your gf, but it seems you slipped into simp territory there. Seems all a bit much.
Womens sexuality dies off if they know they have you available at all times and at their beck and call. You're not exciting anymore,more like a pet or a Butler, and as female syexuality is very psychological this dires out her desire to fuck.

That said, the harsh truth is that your woman openly telling you she doesn't want to fuck you anymore is basically the worst case, at that point the relationship is factually over.
Whatever you do, I'd get to terms with the fact that this relationship is through, once its gotten to that point it can't really be salvaged.

Instead of putting yourself into a mental cock cage, break up and look for other girls.Maybe you can try again after a year or two after both of you have done their own thing for some time, but I wouldn't count on it or think of it.