Dealing with a mean ex
I guess I'm being sensitive, and probably naive, but I'll get it off my chest in case any of you can help.
I broke up with my gf recently even though we had a lot of chemistry. The long and short of it is I had a bad gut feeling that our relationship would never work long term. Reasons are she wasn't emotionally stable due to traumatic upbringing, was very judgey, prone to depression, self-diagnosed ADD, couldn't hold a job due to shit attitude, and generally was hard to motivate to do anything (I'm a very active person and a simple bike ride sometimes felt like it required a 10-step plan). Also she was broke and in debt.
We did in fact discuss all of this over the course of our relationship but my feelings remained. She told me if it isn't supposed to be then it's ok, but don't lead her on. One day she said I need you to be more serious, and due to my gut I couldn't commit, so I ended things even though I enjoyed what we had.
I wanted to do what I can to maintain a friendship; our time together was good. She's just being cold, dividing our social groups by isolating me. Thankfully she is known for being a bit mean and people have sat down to hear my end of things so it not like it all matters.
Her being mean is feeling like my actual heart break. I'm content with the relationship ending, at least logically. But I didn't expect such bitterness from someone who loved me as much as she did (and vice versa). How am I supposed to deal with this. It's like everything that was beautiful about us is getting torched rather than remembered fondly.
I suppose it's naive of me to expect her to be HAPPY after I broke up with her, but if she actually enjoyed our relationship why would she be so caustic about it all? I tried to tell her how I would have continued things if it were possible to do so without it just being worse later, basically exactly what she requested.
I don't know exactly what I did to deserve it, how do I cope with this?
I broke up with my gf recently even though we had a lot of chemistry. The long and short of it is I had a bad gut feeling that our relationship would never work long term. Reasons are she wasn't emotionally stable due to traumatic upbringing, was very judgey, prone to depression, self-diagnosed ADD, couldn't hold a job due to shit attitude, and generally was hard to motivate to do anything (I'm a very active person and a simple bike ride sometimes felt like it required a 10-step plan). Also she was broke and in debt.
We did in fact discuss all of this over the course of our relationship but my feelings remained. She told me if it isn't supposed to be then it's ok, but don't lead her on. One day she said I need you to be more serious, and due to my gut I couldn't commit, so I ended things even though I enjoyed what we had.
I wanted to do what I can to maintain a friendship; our time together was good. She's just being cold, dividing our social groups by isolating me. Thankfully she is known for being a bit mean and people have sat down to hear my end of things so it not like it all matters.
Her being mean is feeling like my actual heart break. I'm content with the relationship ending, at least logically. But I didn't expect such bitterness from someone who loved me as much as she did (and vice versa). How am I supposed to deal with this. It's like everything that was beautiful about us is getting torched rather than remembered fondly.
I suppose it's naive of me to expect her to be HAPPY after I broke up with her, but if she actually enjoyed our relationship why would she be so caustic about it all? I tried to tell her how I would have continued things if it were possible to do so without it just being worse later, basically exactly what she requested.
I don't know exactly what I did to deserve it, how do I cope with this?
