Thread 33913960

Why love it's so hard for people with low self esteem bros

I could write an entire fucking blog but I'm so tired

>>33913960 (OP)
if you dont love yourself it becomes exceedingly difficult to open yourself up to love from others

no no no let's get one thing straight. Men like women who have low self esteem. Almost no man wants the "chase". We already waste tons of time with "women". Low self esteem in women means she will probably put up with whatever we do, not have insanely high standards, be humble, actually care to put effort into the relationship because she can't get anything better etc

but for men it's the reverse. Women are cavemen. "ooga booga he looks poor so he must be poor" "he looks sad so he has a pathetic life" "he is angry so he is bad man, stay away". Women will absolutely never invest in a man. If a woman sees a man with low self esteem, she immediately acts judgmental and already made up her mind that he's an unredeemable loser for the rest of his life. Women are not loyal. Dogs are loyal.

And to be fair, you also only want women who look good. For sex. Women want you for money. And 100 other things. But mainly money.

Homeless men can approach and talk to men, there's a youtube channel "invisible people", this is strictly a woman on man thing. Don't put us men into this "we don't want to talk to people with low self esteem" crap narrative. It's women who do it.

>>33913960 (OP)
Avoidance of danger is a primal survival instinct.

When you see danger everywhere, you communicate it through stress and anxiety. When others receive the message, they run away. This is how human groups survived from getting killed.

When you become aware of the world, aware of social norms, etc, you tap on that danger communication and people run away accordingly.

>>33914162
what does it even mean to love yourself? Shitting on others as you see fit to make yourself feel better? I’ll never stoop to their level. I’ll never go out of my way to hurt others or belittle them publicly even though they do it to me and are rewarded for it. Even though I have many opportunities to shove it in their faces. I think I’m just fine, I just don’t go out of my way to put others down just to show them up. I’m sure to normies that means I don’t love myself

>>33918008
>Shitting on others as you see fit to make yourself feel better?
incredibly unhinged interpretation of loving ones self, seek therapy, or philosophy

>>33918018
I’m just saying it how normies see it.
See someone in an unfortunate situation you’ve been in before?
Don’t show empathy or be the one to extend the hand you never got. Instead, scorn them the same way the hivemind would, like you can’t relate to them or their familiar situation in any way. Perpetuate the cycle. Better to belong than to have principles and stand up for what’s right.
Never let your guard down or show any vulnerability. Instead, you should make others who have the balls to do so feel as bad and insecure as possible. If you can’t have that freedom why should they? If you love yourself, why let these petty things go? You’re letting someone have the last laugh. Can’t stand for that.

This is what low self esteem looks like.
>>33916103
>Low self esteem in women means she will probably put up with whatever we do, not have insanely high standards, be humble, actually care to put effort into the relationship because she can't get anything better etc
Women with low opinions of themselves tend not to take care of their appearance and overcompensate

>>33916103
Low self esteem bros... is it over for us?

>>33918115
thats just simply not true, as someone who interacts with the general public on a daily basis and feels pretty good being myself and courteous to others, most people take that as a sign of cooperation and will back you up further reinforcing your self esteem, only people ive seen exhibiting behavior you describe is literal narcissists who are a very very small portion of the population, its okay to be vulnerable, in fact its the only way anon, just believe you would have the spine to stand up to someone if they treat you unfairly, thats self esteem

>>33918018
>seek therapy
where in order to raise your self esteem by the normie definition, a therapist will have to tell you you're not as much of a loser as you think you are, thereby elevating you above some of the bottom losers of society
That's what it always takes to feel better about yourself. "Well you're not the biggest loser." There's no way around hurting somebody to help yourself.

>>33913960 (OP)
Because our entire experience is that of getting humiliated and being used to wipe the floor, your brain fully expects you to get insulted so you don't put in effort to know people or get them to love you, even if you forced yourself to seek love your brain will cripple you, this comes off to others as awkwardness which naturally put them off from loving you, to begin with in order for them to love you they'd need to put in too much effort for a crippled(low self esteem) human in return, the idea isn't exactly attractive, so unless we get a yandere gf or god blesses us we're stuck.
It's depressing, but I've made my peace for the foreseeable future, if things don't change I'll just thug it out, if they do then I'll look forward to finally being loved

>>33918008
>>33918115
People are not usually intelligent. Being intelligent is not inherently a good thing. Rewards for doing good things are not guaranteed either, nor should you expect them.

The average person is selfish and at best tribalistic. They can't see themselves as part of a bigger thing like a country, society, or the world. People who have most necessities solved do, but for most people even in middle and high class they don't. And it's actually beneficial to think like this, it sets clear limits, it focuses their efforts.

Frustrated people tend to have seen themselves as part of a society that doesn't reward them. They are nice to everyone, and people take this as his nature, not his effort. They habituate to this, they use it because it's expected. Instead, when an asshole is nice to them one or other time, they are surprised and value the experience as an exclusive invitation to their group.

Loving yourself is vague but mostly means setting clear limits to others, stop directing attacks or aggresiveness towards yourself, and living in a way you express yourself without feeling limited or pressured.

>>33918739
>or philosophy
youre interpreting things negatively because you have depression or some affliction coloring the way you interpret everything in your life. self esteem must come from degrading others, why? because you feel bad and so the world must be bad even supposedly good things. if youve ever had any legitimate therapy you would know its about shifting your perspective away from this unhelpful me vs the world scenario through an unraveling of even your mundane daily thoughts and practicing new pattern recognition. i included philosophy because i know people have unfortunate preconceptions or experiencs with therapy, people around here seem to like the classic greeks, stoicism may help you find inner peace without feeling like it has to come from someone else feeling bad