Thread 33916665

Why do people stay in toxic/abusive relationships and how can I make sure I never become like them? I've seen people with good heads on their shoulders go full retard over a partner that ruins their life, and I understand what causes people to go out like this when they know better.

>>33916665 (OP)
Don't be a martyr or try to be the noble one, simple

>>33916665 (OP)
They stay because they are still attracted to that person and/or they are dependent on them in some capacity. There are also some people who deep down enjoy being in toxic relationships (primarily women) even if they feel conflicted about it.

>>33916696
That's also primarily the loser type of male who deep down enjoys "mean girl" treatment. They are surprisingly common and extremely pathetic.

It's hard to avoid because it starts gradually. All you have to do is define boundaries and stick to them instead of making excuses like "I can't toss an 8 year relationship over this shit" or "but we got a house and kids now".

>>33916730
You rarely stick to those boundaries. I've given up so many of my standards for things like cleanliness for my retarded ass mess of a gf and I find that you simply get used to most of what once sounded like a deal breaker.

>>33916774
So why are you still with her

>>33916788
For a bunch of reasons that can be summed up by the usual 'I'm worried that I may end up settling for worse or dying alone' thing. I've had to date 100+ women over the course of a decade to find one that I could tolerate enough to live with and I'll be old and bald before I have a chance of finding another.

>>33916856
and to clarify, being single is absolutely worse than being with her. Being single in your 30's as a man who hates normies and has lost touch with all of his friends is a special kind of hell, and I pray for any of you who are or end up in that position. It'll have to get much worse for me to willingly put myself back there for god knows how long.

>>33916875
>and to clarify, being single is absolutely worse than being with her
Well her pros probably outweigh to cons. I adjusted well to being a wizard though, and I don't think I could have found anyone worthwhile.

The physical pain of the relationship/heart brokenness. It sucks so much ass when you have all the free time in the world to do things again but you are too depressed.

a lot of people just let the honeymoon phase live rent free in their mind and still hope for a 'return to form' without realizing that said initial courting is often the mask hiding the true, toxic self.
another is just sunk cost fallacy. the usual 'i spent x amount of time on this relationship, it'd be too much hard work to start over'.