Friends
About three or four weeks ago, I found out that my group of friends went to the beach without telling me. I only discovered it because I ran into three of them on their way back.
Later, my best friend told me that next time the guys planned something, he’d let me know — he said he thought I was too busy with college (which, to be fair, is somewhat true).
I told him that even though I’ve been busy, I’d make time to hang out with them.
Then, last Friday, I wished one of the guys in our group a happy birthday. He thanked me, everything seemed normal. Today, I decided to go out for a walk and grab something to eat, and I asked my best friend to come with me — something I don’t usually do, since I tend to avoid people when I’m feeling down.
He said he couldn’t, because he was going to a birthday party. I asked whose, and he said it was our friend’s — the same one from the group. That’s when it hit me.
I thought:“Why wasn’t I invited? Are they being fake with me?”
I know I sometimes say dumb things without thinking, but nothing they don’t also say. And I know when to stop I wouldn’t ruin anyone’s birthday. Still, I just don’t understand why they’d leave me out.
Am I a bad person? A bad friend?
I know I don’t usually play games with them, and I’ve said before that I don’t like staying in voice calls, but I really love being with them. I’ve even told them more than once that I love them.
Today, I honestly feel like I’ve lost my place in the group. I don’t feel like I belong anymore. I’ve told them we should plan something, but I’m not good at organizing things. I even tried planning a birthday dinner once, and only a few people showed up the same friends from this group.
And that’s it. Deep down, I just wish I knew why this is happening.
Later, my best friend told me that next time the guys planned something, he’d let me know — he said he thought I was too busy with college (which, to be fair, is somewhat true).
I told him that even though I’ve been busy, I’d make time to hang out with them.
Then, last Friday, I wished one of the guys in our group a happy birthday. He thanked me, everything seemed normal. Today, I decided to go out for a walk and grab something to eat, and I asked my best friend to come with me — something I don’t usually do, since I tend to avoid people when I’m feeling down.
He said he couldn’t, because he was going to a birthday party. I asked whose, and he said it was our friend’s — the same one from the group. That’s when it hit me.
I thought:“Why wasn’t I invited? Are they being fake with me?”
I know I sometimes say dumb things without thinking, but nothing they don’t also say. And I know when to stop I wouldn’t ruin anyone’s birthday. Still, I just don’t understand why they’d leave me out.
Am I a bad person? A bad friend?
I know I don’t usually play games with them, and I’ve said before that I don’t like staying in voice calls, but I really love being with them. I’ve even told them more than once that I love them.
Today, I honestly feel like I’ve lost my place in the group. I don’t feel like I belong anymore. I’ve told them we should plan something, but I’m not good at organizing things. I even tried planning a birthday dinner once, and only a few people showed up the same friends from this group.
And that’s it. Deep down, I just wish I knew why this is happening.