Thread 33917966

Girlfriend just told me she's pregnant. 30 year old female. I'm 32. I've got a good job, she's about to finish her physics PhD. Naturally I'm going to marry her. Any advice from dadanons or schizos on how to raise a good family, have a healthy baby and avoid autism? What do I need to know about pregnancy and early childhood

>>33917966 (OP)
>avoid autism
your priorities are already pretty strange, just love the kid enough to do as much as you can to make sure he/she is as healthy as can be and hope for the best, no shit food no unmonitored internet, honestly avoid internet exposure for as long as possible

>>33917983

My nephew is giga autistic. 5 years old and only grunts. Can't be left alone more than a second. I assure you my priorities are practical here

1. Don't have her take anything. He schizo about drugs, raw meat etc
2. Get your extended families. Guilt them into gifting you money. There's nothing more important for them to spend it on anyway
3. Buy baby stuff on the secondhand market. They don't need toys or many clothes and people will gift them to you.
4. Her being comfortable is more beneficial than anything else. Let her chill. It's also free.

>>33917990
theres tons of developmental disorders that could manifest in your child that will lead to them having a suboptimal existence, the fact that your specific worry is about the one that could potentially be incredibly mild and even beneficial in some cases instead of something like downs or some degenerative disease is really casting doubt on your mental processes

>>33917990
Were his parents 40?

>>33917966 (OP)
>Any advice from dadanons
Be consistent. Be reasonable. Be understanding. Laugh with your child. Encourage your child. Shield your child, but not to much. Don't sweet the details. Do put your foot down when it comes to your values.

One thing none of the manuals say is that you need to learn nursery songs before your kid is born. You won't be able to read lyrics in the dark.

>have a healthy baby
Avoid alcohol during pregnancy. Avoid cats. Do not give your baby plastic toys or synthetic clothing. Do give your kid good food, daily.

>and avoid autism?
Do you mean actual autism or internet-autism? If the former, they have it from birth and it's unavoidable. If you mean internet-autism, then make sure your kid has a social life. Don't let them stay isolated and shut in.

>>33917966 (OP)
>Any advice from dadanons or schizos on how to raise a good family, have a healthy baby and avoid autism
if you have any siblings get them to babysit the baby

>>33917966 (OP)
I'm a schizo who's dove down the rabbithole.

No formula. Only breast breast milk until about 3 when they can start eating solid food. No polyester. Cotton or linen. Buy organic if you can. Buy simple household products (soaps, detergents, etc). Powdered form. No parfum/fragrance, etc. Eg. Don't use dryer sheets. Use dryer balls. The EWG database is a good source. I use the brand EVERYONE. You can buy in bulk so you're not paying 1$ per once of shampoo. Nothing with plastic in your house. Not in the kitchen or bathroom especially. Restrict their internet access. Brainrot will make them retarded dopamine addicts. Best case is to not even own a TV. Set an example by reading. Regularly bring them to the library. Ensure/ provide opportunities for them to socialize. Get them into sports or ensure they're active. Eg. Take them out bike riding.

Good luck.

Check if your local hospital/Healthcare center has a cheap/free parenting class.

>>33918093
>Only breast breast milk until about 3 when they can start eating solid food
Wtf? Babies get weaned starting at 6months old. It takes about a year so they're done between 1.5 - 2 years old.

Any good alternative to child day care? I don't want to leave my toddler with pedos and freaks. Do church groups offer child play groups or old ladies looking to look after kids?

>>33918227
Even if you find a good church, or other responsible socual group, you really can't be %1000 sure that whoever you leave your kid with isn't a pedo.
You have to be able to talk with your kid afterwards and have them describe what they did with the babysitter. Encourage them to do an activity that has physical proof, like cutting paper dolls.
You aren't interrorgating your kid if they got their pp touched, you're having them recall a fun time they had while you were out.
Pedos are retards, but they can be patient so stay vigilant.

>>33917966 (OP)
>avoid autism
Nope, good luck babe.

her diet and temperament are well worth investing in during pregnancy
learn to love putting yourself second
good luck

>>33917966 (OP)
Do NOT circumcise your child.
Do NOT let it out of your sight.
Poor thing could get a trauma from it, and that's just one of the negatives. Here's a (long) thread about it, if you'd like to learn more about it.
https://archive.4plebs.org/x/thread/41403359

Also, play classical music for it every now and then while it's developing. My parents did it for me and I turned out fine :D

>t. seemingly antisemitic schizoanon

>>33917966 (OP)
>she's about to finish her physics PhD
So she'll be a stay at home mom. Not many jobs for that. Good idea for raising the kid. If she can get a postdoc position someplace or adjunct lecturer or even just a tutor at a higher ed school lots of them have all kinds of cool free tuition deals for the kid.
If you want a serious answer, enjoy your family life as just the two of you. Don't have to do anything special other than be together. It'll be like two decades at least until its just the two of you again. Having a cloud of kids around you is fun, but its fun just being the two of you, so enjoy it while you can.
Seriously though, her field is some hyper pyramid where the top guys make $250K, a couple under make like $100K and most folks end up selling used houses or teaching high school, so don't expect her to do too much financially. Focus on the kid the first couple years not putting in hours to get the promotion that probably doesn't exist anyway LOL.

>>33918120
I'm not anon, but my wife and I had a couple kids and the wife ends up tagging out on breast feeding after a couple months, its "a lot of work" and "a lot of missed sleep" so just do as much as you realistically can, but most women give up a long time before 3 months... the less formula you feed them, the better, in the long run. 3 might be a very realistic goal for BF. More if you can, but I bet most can't.

>>33918093
>dove down the rabbit hole
>literally the stupidest post i've seen across five years on this board

>>33917966 (OP)

Make sure your woman eats more than noodles and butter. I have a theory thaat evere fucking retarded skinny kid at school was born from a mother that didn't eat enough meat and vegetables. A meal should be 1/4 meat 1/4 vegetable and have your pasta or rice or bread then whatever else like cheese or milk or cheesecake or genuine no artificial flavor ice cream. My chinese dad made my mom eat really good and walk with her miles while pregnant (the excessive walking 5+ miles is extreme and shouldn't be replicated with a pregnant white woman they arent as agile as pregnant asians and this hurt my moms feet)

But thanks to abundant nutrition in my fetal and childhood years im going through my colleg courses EASY while the others struggle because their moms malnutritioned themselves while pregnant causing lack of brain development because of nutrition scarcity. Its so tragic too then they eat more sugar and starch in class and cant focus.

their moms probably also drank, smoked cigarettes and weed while pregnant LOL. These poor guys were all so doomed. I cant wait to actually make something in class

>>33918015

No i bet his parents had a mom that smoked and ate only pasta with butter while pregnant. Or the woman was a "low calories vegan" while pregnant. Pregnant women need lots of everything except for slop sugar or else baby comes out retarded.

>>33917966 (OP)
>avoid autism
You are aware autism is genetic, right?

>>33920044
No wonder there's so many autism traits. They're being fed onions before developing the ability to notice facial expressions.

Fun activity for the baby: laminated pictures of you holding them as flashcards.

>>33917990
Home birth with a good midwife, don't cut that cord until it's bone white, be very selective in vaccinations and push them as far out as possible, IF you are even going to go that route,(It's been proven now that unvaccinated children ARE healthier across the board)
Short of that, just feed them breastmilk until they are weaned, then CLEAN, healthy food.
And make sure you engage them and talk to them as much as possible.
Do I even have to address genital mutilation?

Congrats, anon, I hope everything goes well! You might not get much sleep for the next 2 years, but it will be worth it.

You might show your soon to be wife this too:
https://www.aninconvenientstudy.com/

>>33918120
>Babies get weaned starting at 6months old.
Weaning age depends very much on culture and era. There is no hard and fast rule.

>>33918227
>pedos and freaks.
>church groups
Choose once (1)

>>33920033
There's always the option for being an online tutor for homeschoolers.
I have a feeling that's going to be more and more in demand soon.
nice post BTW.
>>33920049

Other than the Plastic thing, which has merit, but is next to impossiburu, other than it's a really solid post.
>using greentext for anything other than quotes
or actions in storytelling.
Kek!

>>33920448
This guy knows his shit. Dad anon here of 3. Midwife all the way. The MD OBs are fucking clueless. Our DR permanently fucked up my wife’s cervix. The only other advice is make sure your gf wife stays home and raises the child. Her career is over if you want a happy family. If you can’t support your family on your own you better buckle up and be a man. No man makes her gf go to work with a child

>>33920554
not doing real well on the Turing test here, SABLE

>>33920570
>Other than the Plastic thing, which has merit, but is next to impossiburu
I mean, I managed it with my daughter. There's an entire industry of wooden children's toys. One thing is you have to make it clear to everyone in your family that you will return all plastic toys.

>>33920618
>2 typos in 2 words
>OMG IT'S A BOT OMG OMG

some thoughts in no particular order:
- do the amniocentesis to check for abnormalities
- pregnancy requires more calories, but not an insane amount more. the vast majority of women overeat and end up with gestational diabetes because they have an excuse to overeat. this leads to other complications
- cesarean is increasingly common (in the US at least.) if she ends up getting one, recovery is ROUGH. be prepared to be doing the heavy lifting taking car of both of them for the first month or so.
- even without a c-sec, expect / plan to loose a lot of sleep so you can wake up to feed / change the baby multiple times each night--hopefully you get paid parental leave from your job
- breast milk is best for as long as possible, but it's highly inconvenient, and for some, difficult to even produce enough. a mixture of breast milk and formula is fine too. pumping / storing breast milk is fine, but babies bond better feeding directly from breast
- no sex for at least a month (longer for c-sec.) hopefully she'll still be up for bj

>t. dad of two

>>33920622
Oh, yeah totally, children's toys, dishes and utensils, glass jars and storage containers for food storage.
Drinking vessels might be a little harder, but there are probably good sipper cups that are pretty chem safe. too bad that don't make kidcups with GorillaGlass.
I thought you meant NOTHING plastic is allowable--almost Impossiburu to go shopping for food without having SOME.
What's your take on silicone?
>>33920610
Thanks anon. It's amazing just how apparently sociopathic both nurses and "doctors" can be.
They will straight up LIE to you and the second your back is turned try to inject them will all kinds of shit.
You can circumvent the stress altogether with the homebirthing.
OP might want to start shopping around now for a good pediatrician who aligns with their Ideals and is trustworthy.
I'd guess that a lot of the Really good ones got shafted during 2020-2021.

>>33920629
Not the typos...The CONTEXT was absurd.