Thread 33920408

My girlfriend I met online suddenly had a set of life circumstances hit her and we took the opportunity to move in together. She's now a few states away from her family and I'm right at home in my home state. It is great, and I really love her, but there are some things I'm not certain how to deal with and it can be exhausting. Things like
>not really having any alone time or peace because I'm an EXTREMELY introverted person
>always feeling like I need to be an entertainer and in some kind of fun mood
>always feeling guilty if I'm not actively doing something with her even if I want to do my own thing for a day or two
>feeling like I need to be dependable even as I'm going through my own problems
>not being able to sleep in the same bed as her because we have exact opposite sleep habits (I need to doze off while watching or listening to something, she needs total silence and darkness)
What can I do? Open communication about things helps of course, but the problems keep cropping up. Is this normal? It's been about two months now.

>>33920408 (OP)
>I need to doze off while watching or listening to something
little ass kid

>>33920431
I have GAD. If there's nothing going on and it's just dead silent and there's nothing going on, I start overthinking, getting inexplicably anxious about everything and can't sleep. That and without SOME kind of numbing white noise or something, I hyperfixate on every single movement I make in bed, how much I'm shaking it when I roll over, and even how loudly I'm breathing.

>I need to doze off while watching or listening to something
No you don't. You just do that because your sleeping schedule is probably messed up. To fix that, just go to sleep at night the first time you actually feel sleepy instead of ignoring that feeling doing something else; or, use a sleeping technique like the one they teach at the military (look up into it, just takes a few minutes).

>>33920408 (OP)

>>not really having any alone time or peace because I'm an EXTREMELY introverted person
The key to living with someone, regardless of the relationship, is communication. Tell her about your introversion. Explain what introversion means. Make sure she knows that you being quiet doesn't mean you've stopped loving her. Reminder of this daily.

>>always feeling like I need to be an entertainer and in some kind of fun mood
>>always feeling guilty if I'm not actively doing something with her even if I want to do my own thing for a day or two
These are part of your first point. Solution is the same.

>>feeling like I need to be dependable even as I'm going through my own problems
A variant on your first point. Solution is of course communication. She needs to know what your problems are, how they affect you, how they are going to affect your couple, etc etc. She needs to know when you are spending time away from her on your problems. Ideally beforehand.

>>not being able to sleep in the same bed as her because we have exact opposite sleep habits (I need to doze off while watching or listening to something, she needs total silence and darkness)
I'm 56 and I've been married for 15 years. If only I'd known in my 20s how much couples drama could be solved by separate bedrooms!