Anonymous
11/10/2025, 11:51:06 AM
No.33922415
[Report]
>>33922426
>>33922438
>>33922490
>>33922540
>>33922655
Is it wrong to just let my bf take the lead?
I've been getting talks from my friends about how my relationship isn't healthy. I feel like its fine with context, but it's context I like to keep private when I'm not anonymous so my friends don't all know it.
I have been going to therapy for an obsessive disorder of perfectionism. My parents really drove home the idea that we relax after we've gotten our responsibilities done when I was little, and I just can't relax unless I know I've done everything I can to do my part for a day.
That leads to a lot of like...re-doing stuff, over and over, until its just right. The weird thing about my bf, which helped a lot, is I felt like when he kinda got bossy and asked me to do something it made it easier to relax.
Like, "I can relax when all this is perfect" changes to "I can relax after I do what he told me to". It's a lot more achievable, and I just melted into doing what he said. EVERYTHING in life felt easier like a ripple effect, and I've been way happier overall.
My friends say I'm slipping into an abusive relationship, like Harley Quinn, and I get that I'm giving up some agency the way she did but it feels like that agency was just making me obsessive and miserable and I feel bad saying it but I'm happier just giving that up?
Are my friends right, or is it ok to just find relief from my brain and its inability to relax by just letting my bf take the lead on stuff?
I have been going to therapy for an obsessive disorder of perfectionism. My parents really drove home the idea that we relax after we've gotten our responsibilities done when I was little, and I just can't relax unless I know I've done everything I can to do my part for a day.
That leads to a lot of like...re-doing stuff, over and over, until its just right. The weird thing about my bf, which helped a lot, is I felt like when he kinda got bossy and asked me to do something it made it easier to relax.
Like, "I can relax when all this is perfect" changes to "I can relax after I do what he told me to". It's a lot more achievable, and I just melted into doing what he said. EVERYTHING in life felt easier like a ripple effect, and I've been way happier overall.
My friends say I'm slipping into an abusive relationship, like Harley Quinn, and I get that I'm giving up some agency the way she did but it feels like that agency was just making me obsessive and miserable and I feel bad saying it but I'm happier just giving that up?
Are my friends right, or is it ok to just find relief from my brain and its inability to relax by just letting my bf take the lead on stuff?
